Princesses and Pickles

Cuz there aren't enough pumpkin recipes floating around right now

2010-10-21T09:53:00.006-05:00

Ya know what makes mine better? It uses donuts. Donuts make everything better, right? Or is that butter? Actually, I'm not a huge donut fan, but I'll tell ya what I am a fan of, using up leftovers.

I had gotten the kids donuts one Saturday as a treat. I snuck out before they got up and got a dozen of the little gems. Problem being, our family can't finish a dozen donuts. Or maybe it's that I don't want them to? Anyway, whatever. I found myself with 4 leftover donuts.

Those donuts stared me down for the better part of the day. I picked them up to throw them away but stopped. On the counter I saw 4 newly purchased cans of pumpkin puree (we loves us some pumpkin in our house. Also HOO-RAY for the pumpkin shortage being over) and the wheels a started turnin' in the ol' noodle.

So, I cut them upI whipped up yer basic custard for the bread pudding, with the addition of some pumpkin puree and pumpkin pie spices.
I decided on individual ramekins for portion control. Ok, that's a lie. I did that because of my brand spankin' new, colorful ramekins that I got at Target in the Dollar Spot. Total steal.

Anyway, I placed the ramekins in a roasting pan and filled them with the cubed bread 4 donuts is not enough for this recipe. Probably 6-8 would be better. I ended up with a lot of extra custard, which I just baked off on it's own and was fabulous on its own!

Next, I poured the custard over the donuts till it was about half an inch below the rim. Smoosh the donuts down if you'd like. Allow it to set and soak up all that custardy goodness for about 15 minutes.

Preheat your oven to 350 while they soak. Place your pan with the ramekins in it on the middle wrack. Pour HOT water into the pan until it is about halfway up the ramekins. Fancy work alert: this is called a Bain Marie or a water bath.

But MammaDucky, why do I need to do that? Because I said so, that's why! Wait, sorry, you're not my children. You want to do this because it promotes even baking and gives the custards a silky texture. Don't skip it.

Mine took 25 minutes to reach that light golden brown color on top and a toothpick inserted into the center came out clean. CAREFULLY remove from the oven! That water will be hot!

Aren't they pretty?!

They were pretty yummy too!

Yep, did that.Ooops! All gone!!Mission Accomplished. Donut box empty.

Pumpkin Bread Pudding

3 large eggs

3/4 Cup canned pumpkin (plain, not pumpkin pie mix)

1/2 Cup milk

1 Cup heavy cream

3/4 Cup brown sugar, packed

1 tsp pumpkin pie spice (don't have it? combine 1/2 tsp cinnamon, 1/4 tsp ground ginger, 1/8 tsp freshly ground nutmeg & 1/8 tsp allspice)

6-8 donuts, day old

or you can opt for the standard baguette, Ciabatta loaf or the golden child of bread puddings, croissant ~le sigh.
Combine the first 6 ingredients in a bowl. Cut up the bread/donuts and place in greased ramekins or an 8 inch baking dish. Pour custard over the top and allow to soak for 15 minutes. Place break pudding in a larger dish and pour hot water into the larger dish. Try to aim for the water equalling the custard in the smaller dish (or halfway). Place dish on middle wrack in a pre-heated 350 degree oven. For the 8 inch dish, bake for approximately 45 minutes. Ramekins, 25 minutes. Bake until light golden brown and toothpick inserted into center comes out clean.

Eat.

What do you do with a 3 year old pickle?

2010-09-21T14:19:00.007-05:00

Somebody found the extra frosting!

"Helping" out.

Throw it a birthday party!

Lame?

Pretty much, yeah, I am.

Anyshway, I was looking over some pictures and realized I hadn't shown off the birthday cake I made for my ~~baby~~ big boy. Le sigh. They grow up too fast, don't they?

Seems like only yesterday he was born. Now look at him with that big boy green Mohawk and rock star themed birthday party!

Love that kid! He is such a rock star. He loves him some "kee-tars."

This is the invite:

Cool, huh? Took me about 2 minutes to fill in the information on the website and it gave me the image. I just had them printed out at Office Depot on cardstock for 6 cents per page (I got 4 tickets per page). Cheap, no?

I also made up some backstage passes and had those printed out as well. They were nothing fancy. Just whipped 'em up in Microsoft publisher and slid them into name badge protectors! They looked cool.

I served rootbeer for drink. You can pick up a case of the IBC rootbeer in plain glass, brown bottles at Sam's club for cheap. I splurged and had waterproof, personalized "beer bottle" labels made up with Pickle's picture and the words, "Rocker's Brew" on them.

On to the cake! You can order cake kits from Duff Goldman that are rock star themed. I did that. I was kinda pissed when I opened it and there was one flame, a few picks, the neck of the guitar and a bunch of plastic extras. I dunno, I expected more gumpaste and fondant pieces for the money. I ended up making more gumpaste pieces to suit my likes. The body of the guitar is gumpaste, while the collar, spikes and chain are all fondant. I hand painted the flames and guitar. I also made extra guitar pics so I could spell out his name.

I iced the cake with that faux fondant again. I don't really care for real fondant and this stuff really smooths out nicely anyway.

My favorite part of the cake is the chain. How freakin' awesome is that?! And easy?! WHAT?!

I just rolled out some fondant snakes till they were the thickness I wanted. Then I cut off 2 1/2 in pieces and shaped them into a link. The 3D part of the chain (the links that stuck out of the cake) were just half of a link. The picture kinda explains it a little better.

**I apologize for some of the picture's quality. Some of these were snapped with my camera phone as I was too lazy to go and get my real camera**

A Fancy Quesadilla

2010-09-17T10:17:00.003-05:00

Pickles and I have this ridiculous love of pears. That kid could eat his body weight in pears, me, not so much. Not that I don't love them equally, but seriously, my body weight in pears? That's just silly.

I even loved the movie "City of Angels," partly because of how Meg Ryan describes the taste of pears to Nick Cage.

Where was I going with all of this? Oh yes, my latest snacking endeavor.

The other day I was making the kiddos some black bean quesadillas please note, it is redundant to call it a bean and cheese quesadilla as the word quesadilla actually means cheese in tortilla. Just sayin'. I was hungry, but not super hungry so I just wanted something light-ish. My friend the pear was staring me straight in the eye. Sounded good, but I needed a little something extra. I popped open the fridge and found a smidge of Gorgonzola cheese, leftover from The Dude's favorite dinner Steak Gorgonzola Alfredo pasta. LIGHTBULB!!

Back in SoCal, near where I used to live, there is this awesome restaurant that serves a Gorgonzola Pear pizza, drool.

So, I yanked that Gorgonzola out the fridge and whipped this up.

Here's how it went down:

2 - 6in flour tortillas

5-6 thin slices of pear (any variety will do)

1 T whipped cream cheese

1 T crumbled Gorgonzola cheese

Smear the cream cheese on one (or both, hell I don't care) tortilla. Lay a single layer of pears on top and sprinkle the Gorgonzola on it. We're not looking for heavy coverage on the Gorgonzola here people. Use less or more according to your liking. Top with remaining tortilla.

Fire up the ol' griddle or pan and cook that bad boy. No need to grease the pan, unless you are really looking for that extra artery clogging goodness that butter adds. Not that I'm judging you, cuz it is fabulous. Just know you will still get a nice, crisp quesadilla without it. Let it sit for a few minutes to let the juices hang out. You can do it. Resist the urge to eat it, just for a little while.

Now, it was fabulous on it's own. But I'm thinkin' I need to scout out some fresh cranberries and make some cranberry sauce. That flavor combo sounds awesome to me!

Bribing the teacher with candy

2010-08-20T15:05:00.004-05:00

That is so my style. Ok, maybe it's not technically bribing. More like giving them an extra reason to cut me some slack should I forget to send something to school on time. You know, things like that.

I sent one of these for each of my children's teachers last week. This went over well. Who doesn't like getting something for doing nothing. Let's be honest, they haven't done much of anything as of yet. It's more like incentive to do good things. Like, "See, I gave you a treat even before you did anything. Imagine what you'll get for doing well with my kids!!"

Maybe not? Anyone follow me?

Ok, anyway, here is a picture of the treat.

The blue side is that back. Obviously the white side with the writing is the front. It just wrapped around a standard Skor candy bar. oooooh, Skor candy bar, I love you. I came really close to just eating these and giving the empty wrappers but I thought that bad form.

Since I'm so lame and low tech, I don't know how to upload templates or anything on here. If you want it, comment here with an email address and I'll send you the file. Or, if you're so inclined tell me how to put the template up! Or don't, your call.

Yay for sucking up to the teacher!

Gymnast Cake

2010-06-28T15:49:00.003-05:00

A while back a friend asked me to make a cake for her mother. No occasion. Her Mom caters and does cakes for a living. She once mentioned how no one ever made her a cake. That was where I entered. It was a simple cake: lemon cake with raspberry mousse filling and lemon Swiss buttercream. I piped little white daisies all around the yellow iced cake. Very simple, very pretty.

Another friend stopped by that house and had a piece of cake. I got a text from her the next day asking if I would do her daughter's birthday cake. She selected a cake based on the theme of the party. I got to planning and was about to buy the few things I needed when I got a text saying the theme of the party had changed. It was now a gymnastics party. The following cake is what they wanted. I had tons of fun doing it. *please note, I am obviously not a professional so please don't judge me too harshly!! Also, all pictures were taken with a cell phone camera, hence the crap-tastic quality.

WTF is with that right side? It looks bulgy! There was no bulge in person, I assure you.

Gymnast is made out of fondant. Hair was done using a...wait for it...garlic press. Bahahaha! I know they make fondant/clay extruders, but my garlic press worked perfectly!

Marshmallow fondant accents

O - M - G

2010-06-02T09:13:00.002-05:00

This will be my lame attempt at blogging today. Although you may not find it so lame after you click here.

Boo-yah! How freakin' awesome is that?!

Sarah, at Stepping Thru Crazy, is a total genius. I think I may be in love.

Sisters, I can totally see you making these. I absolutely expect to see some on your wrists when I get there for Christmas.

Another thing you never knew was so easy

2010-04-16T14:54:00.005-05:00

I'm not sure why, but the thought of cheese making intimidates me. It just seems like one of those things that only a select few can master.

I have had this recipe for homemade ricotta cheese for a while. Actually, I typed it out on October 8th, 2008, so that's more than a while, right? Wow, that was a lot of commas. Ack!! Another one. Dang. My English 1A professor was right! I DO have comma diarrhea.

Anyway, where was I? Yes, so I've had this recipe on my desk at work since then. I have no idea where it came from. None whatsoever. I saw it somewhere, copied it into Word, printed it out, and on my desk it sat until last weekend. Then it happened. I took the plunge. I made my first cheese. While it's not an aged cheddar or Romano, it is was heavenly. I saw was because it's gone. Not a nibble was left.

I'm almost hesitant to tell you all just how easy it is. Mostly because I like people to think I'm fantastic. I use trickery to fool most of them. Easy recipes like this that produce fantastical results that seem so out of reach for the regular Joe, are how I keep up the mystique.

Ok, ok. I'll share. But only cuz you're cute.

Creamy-Dreamy Ricotta Cheese

2 quarts whole milk
1 cup heavy cream
3 T white vinegar
½ tsp sea salt

Gee, guess who shops at Walmart??

Warm the milk and cream over medium-high heat until foamy and steamy (185 degrees). Do NOT let it boil.

Allow me to throw in this little nugget: use a pot that is big enough. This one: too small. I hadn't even added all of the ingredients at this point!

This one: much too big, but I wasn't about to dirty a 3rd pot.

Remove from heat. Add vinegar and stir gently for 30 seconds; mixture will curdle almost instantly. I'll be honest here, it looks nas-tastic at this point. Push on, friend. It will all be worth it shortly. Add the salt and stir 30 seconds longer. Cover with a clean towel and let stand for 2 hrs.
Line a large colander with several layers of cheesecloth, allowing several inches to overhang. Set the colander in a large bowl. Using a slotted spoon, transfer curds to colander. Carefully gather the corners of the cheesecloth and close with a rubber band and hang over bowl.

You likey my fancy-shmancy system I rigged up here? Yup, that is totally a rubber-bandy headband.

Let the ricotta drain for 30 minutes, gently pressing and squeezing the cheesecloth occasionally to drain off the whey. Transfer ricotta to a bowl and use at once or cover and refrigerate.

Close yer yaps. Yes, it's that easy. The results are amazing. Seriously, you will never, ever buy the store bought stuff again. Ridiculous, right? Why did I let this recipe sit on my desk for a year and a half? Because I was intimidated by cheese making! Geez.

I used my ricotta to make the kick-assiest baked pasta dish I've ever had. My picky eater, Twin A, even liked it! She wanted a small bowl for herself. I drizzled it with honey and let her have at it. She declared it "the best thing I never had." Yeah, made me scratch my head too. Fairly certain she meant ever.

Enjoy.

Back to Square One.

2010-03-24T13:25:00.004-05:00

I stepped on the scale this morning. Damn near fainted.

Since around the first of the year I have been on a diet. No, not so much a diet as a lifestyle change. I was doing pretty well. I had lost 15 or so pounds. I was happy with that, but of course wanted to go further.

The whole family got sick about a month ago. They all got better, I did not. I finally went to the doctor and was put on an array of meds, including a cortical

steroid. Do we all know the side effects of those? Weight gain (among others). I knew this going in. Ok, I thought, must be extra diligent. It's only a week, what could happen??

You can gain every single pound you've lost BACK, is what can happen.
Right. Sooooo, I'm in a pissy mood today.

Now that I've gotten that off of my chest I can move on.

**FAIR WARNING** Picture quality is super crappy. I used my camera phone for all of these pictures. Sorry.

Do your kids constantly beg for cupcakes? Mine do. I'm not sure why. I don't make cupcakes all that often. Not a HUGE fan of cupcakes myself. Don't get me wrong, LOVE making them, I just doing really love them enough to waste the calories eating them (see, lifestyle change! The old me would never have said that!!).

Anyway, last week I was just in the mood to bake and the kids wanted to help. How, exactly, can two 4 yr olds and a 2 yr old help with cupcakes without making a huge mess???

Enter my smartest investment EVER. No, really, EVER.

I have used these things more than any other kitchen item (that's totally not accurate, but I use them a lot).

You can make the fanciest pancakes using those bad boys: names, numbers, simple designs, shapes, you name it! Takes a bit of the mess out of it too. No stray drops or splatters. I also use these when we're making pizza. I actually bought a bunch for the girls' last birthday party. I didn't think giving a spoon and a huge bowl of pizza sauce to 3 and 4 yr olds sounded like a good idea, but I wanted them to be able to make their own pizzas. Voila! Little bottle comes in handy again!

I also use these a lot when plating. Yes, I plate dishes. Not every day, mind you, but I get this weird little thrill from making things look ultra fancy. A little swirl of chocolate here, a twirl of pesto there. Ya dig?

So yes, back to cupcakes. The kids sort of have a color assigned to each of them. Twin A is red/pink, Twin B is blue and Pickles is green. Naturally, they all wanted the cupcakes to be their color. I divided the batter into three bowls, tinted them in their respective colors, and then I filled the bottles with it.

I assigned each kid two rows of the muffin pan to work with. Using their bottles, they squirted a bit in each tin then we turned the pan and they repeated the process until all of the muffins had each color in them. They were wildly impressed with this but I was not done.

I was not about to make three different colors of buttercream and frost some one color some another. So what I did was I took a pastry bag and painted one red stripe, one green stripe, and one blue stripe on the inside with a gel food coloring, filled the bag with plain white buttercream and went to town. The results were quite fun!

**Special note** I did not even eat these so this is NOT why I gained the weight back!!!! Ha!

Take THAT, Pottery Barn

2010-03-09T10:47:00.005-06:00

Oh Pottery Barn,

You think you're so fancy...and you are.

I often get your catalog and dream of having it's contents splashed all over my house.

Then I look at my bank statement and realize, that just ain't happenin'.

Much to my delight, I saw a post on Dollar Store Crafts about making the robin's egg vase filler from PB. SWEET!

PB's vase filler is really cute and would just be fabulous sitting on my table, but there is no way I am paying $14 (plus tax) for those bad boys. I will however pay $1 (plus tax).

Seriously people, these were so easy and turned out so fabulous.

I went to the Dollar Tree and bought these little foam eggs, took them home, pulled out the ribbon, stuck them on kabob skewers (for easy handling during painting) and painted them (*note* use a sponge brush, NOT a regular paintbrush)!

I had the paint on hand. I mixed a couple of colors until I found the shade I like. Even if you had to buy the blue and brown paint, that's like, what, two or three bucks (depending on the brand you buy)?? Paint the entire egg, one heavy coat will do ya, or two thinner coats. When it's relatively dry (or when you've run out of patience, whichever comes first), take them outside and splatter the heck out of them with brown paint. I did this using ~~The Dude's~~ an old toothbrush. I thinned the brown paint with a bit of water first to make it splatter a bit better.

For argument's sake, let's say I had to buy the eggs, buy the paint AND buy the vase they're pictured in (from the dollar store): the total would come to

$1 for the eggs

.99 per paint color (2 needed)

$1 for vase

plus LA state tax

My little project cost would have been $4.30, a far cry from $15.12 (even with the free shipping PB is advertising).

I'm gonna go swipe some Spanish moss from the trees down the street to complete the nest-look in my vase. That little addition will be free-ninety-five, people...courtesy of mother nature.

P.S. the eggs came out looking sort of electric blue in these pictures. I assure you this is not the case. I'm just too lazy to go mess with the color saturation/shadows/crap like that.

Carbs are my friend

2010-02-25T10:01:00.005-06:00

I love bread.

No, seriously, I love bread. Those no-carb/low-carb diets would never work for me...ever.

If I could live off of bread alone, I probably would.

I go to the club stores and buy the humongous packages of yeast. Yeah, I'm that girl.

I've previously discussed my dislike for the Thanksgiving tradition that has been forced upon me. The food is gross as it is always re-heated, store bought food (including the turkey). The one redeeming thing for this meal has always been the rolls. Sweet jebus they are good. I knew better than to assume they were homemade, so I asked our hostess what brand they were.

"Sister Schubert," she replied. Score! I all but ran to the store to buy a bag. Crap man, they were pricey, but oh so worth it.

As I devoured the first bag I never dreamed that I could successfully recreate these beauties!

Of course I first searched the Internet for copycat recipes. I found one. It was good, but not spot on. So I tweaked it a bit and hit the jackpot. I made them for Christmas dinner when my family was in town. My sister took one bite and new exactly what they were. She has worked in the restaurant business off and on most of her life. A restaurant she had worked in used Sister Schubert rolls as their house rolls. She squealed with delight that we now possessed the recipe. She ate 6 rolls....no joke.

This recipe will make A LOT of rolls. Feel free to cut it down or freeze some dough, or bake the rolls and freeze some.

Best Rolls. Eat All Day (or B.R.E.A.D)

8 tsp. yeast (NOT rapid rise yeast!!!)

7 tsp. sugar

1 cup warm water

1/2 cup sugar

6 cups bread flour

1 stick butter

1/4 cup oil

1 egg

1 cup hot water

2 tsp. salt

This recipe is written for a standing mixer. If ya don't have one, just mix up and knead like you would normally do with any bread! Combine yeast, sugar and one cup warm water in a 2 -cup large bowl or measuring cup (this makes it easier to see when it is actually at two cups). Stir to dissolve and let rise until it equals 2 cups. In large mixing bowl, add 1/2 cup sugar,oil and salt. Mix well . Add egg, mix well. Add the one cup of hot water, and yeast mixture. Mix well. Slowly add flour and keep it kneading on low speed until the ball of dough is smooth and rebounds when you poke your finger into it. Take out the dough, spray bowl with Pam, put dough back in bowl and spray dough with Pam as well. Cover and let rise til double in a draft-free, warm place (I turn my oven light on and leave it in there).

Punch down dough and work down. Tear off balls (he he, I said balls) of dough that are about one to two inches in diameter. Place on greased pan. Cover and allow to rise until doubled in size. Bake in preheated 400* oven on LOWEST wrack. Bake until they just start to get a hint of color. You may think they aren't done, but trust me, if you wait till they're golden brown, they'll lose the amazing texture. Brush with melted butter. The amazing part is they are still super tender and yummy cold/room temp and for several days after!!

After rolling a crap ton of individual hunks of dough into balls, I was burnt out and running out of baking sheets. I opted to throw some of the balls (tee-hee) into a greased loaf pan, creating a pull apart loaf. Then, I got even lazier and just made a plain old loaf. All was good.

Crazed Mother, Aisle 10

2010-02-22T09:05:00.003-06:00

I very nearly became that mother at Wally World yesterday.

Perhaps it was the fact that I was at Wally World and not other places that I would much rather shop.

Perhaps it was that there were none of those fabulous carts that can seat 3 children (yes, I know the cart says not to put a third child in the upper seat but I do anyway).

Perhaps it was the fact that the beautiful weekend (sunny and warm!!) had turned ugly (cloudy and rainy).

Whatever it was, it wasn't pretty.

For any of you who are thinking, "Oh I don't lose my temper with my children and they never misbehave," take your Stepford Wives self somewhere else cuz this isn't gonna tickle your fancy.

In hindsight, I probably should have turned around and left when I could not locate any of the previously mentioned required tools (read: 3-seater shopping cart). But I didn't, I pressed on. I told them to jump on, garbage truck style. Everything was grand until about 15 minutes in. Then Twin B decided it was time to unleash her inner Bad Seed. She the leader of my little pack. She is strong willed and mischievous. She loves to convince her siblings to do things she knows they shouldn't do, to kinda test the waters. She's not a bad kid, she just has that little devilsh side.

Within 5 minutes it was utter chaos. The bad behavior started in the dairy section (Wally Worlds are all pretty much the same, set up wise, so I'm giving you a visual). I flew through the aisles, making it to bananas (of which there were NONE...great). I missed lots of things I needed whilst trying to hurry. I had to run back a few aisles a few times to get some things. Anyway, back to the banana section. Pickles freaks out at the lack of bananas yes, my 2 1/2 year old knows where the bananas should be. Twin B decides now would be a good time to run away and bring her brother with her. I see her whisper something to him and off he goes.

"I'll get him," she chirps and off she goes before I can tell her otherwise.

It's at this point that I see our sitter. GREAT, just who I wanted to see, NOT. It's a whole other post, but I am actively searching for new childcare.

Twin A is just standing there smiling, holding onto the cart like she's supposed to. What am I supposed to do?? Run with her and the cart or just leave her, and the cart and run after the other yahoos? I tell her to stay up and I run (I kept her in eyesight and the sitter was right there too). Pickles had turned back and ran smack into me. I swoop him up and keep running. Twin B rounds the corner and locks eyes with me. She gets what I like to call, The Look of Death. I grab her hand and squeeze it tightly. She tries to break free, but I am not letting go! EVERYONE is looking at us. I'm fairly certain one woman took out her cell in order to call 911 in the even I lost it. We make it back to the cart and I strap her in the only seat available.

It looks ridiculous with a 4 year old (albeit a small one) strapped up in the baby seating, but it was necessary. She wails all the way to the check out like and till we make it to the car.

I can almost understand why you see those Moms who lose it on their kids at the Wally World...ALMOST

Gumpaste Gerbera Daisies ~ A Lighthearted Tutorial

2010-01-20T11:08:00.008-06:00

If you're looking for a serious, straight shooting tutorial on how to make Gerbera Daisies out of gum paste, stop here and go here. That's where I learned and it's a great tutorial but it lacks a certain something...smart assiness. Is that a word? It is now. Write it down.

Seriously, check out that entire site. Chick has some awesome stuff on there.

I'm gonna attempt to "keep it real." I did a lot of the "work" on these will sitting in bed. I'm not kidding. I don't use all of the proper tools or whatever. I use Q-tips, Dixie cups and other oddities. I did buy some of the proper equipment cuz there are just some things ya can't fudge. I got what I needed here. Some of you lucky bums have great cake decorating supply stores nearby, goody for you. The rest of us have to order off of the Internet!!!

Let's start!

You will need:

gum paste (dur)

Large Gerbera daisy cutter

Wilton's smallest daisy cutter

celforms (or some other small dish/bowl that will hold your flower in a slightly cupped shape while drying)
knife
cornstarch
water **you probably should use gum paste glue, but I'm lazy. Make gum paste glue by mixing 1T meringue powder with 1 T water, mix well.

food coloring (I used powdered and paste)

I bought bagged, pre-made gum paste that Wilton makes. Works well for me. It was like $8 bucks. Actually, I had some leftover from the Remy figure I made for the twincesses birthday cake.

Start by kneading your gum paste in your hands until it's quite pliable. You may knead in color if you would like, or paint your gum paste later!

Dust your clean *snicker* work surface with cornstarch. You can certainly sprinkle that stuff right on your workspace but that tends to give you a rather heavy coat. Take some cheesecloth, or NEW nylons/knee highs (do they still make those? Mom?), or what I had, which was a roll of tulle which I took one long piece and folded it over itself a million (five) times. Now, put a couple of tablespoons of cornstarch in the center of your material of choice, draw up the sides creating a little sack. Steal one of your daughter's tiny hair elastics and tie it off (or use twine or regular rubber bands or whatever). Voila! A Fluffer-Duster! I'm certain there is a real name for these, but I don't know it and I like Fluffer-Duster.

Next, we want to roll the gum paste out quite thin. We're talkin' Calista Flockhart thin (Yowza! That broad is skinny!). Like this:

Take your larger Gerbera Daisy cutter (from here on out, I'm gonna drop the "a" on the end cuz I don't like it and when I say the word the "a" is silent anyhow. Deal with it.) and gets to cuttin'. For one flower you'll need two cut outs. Please note, when not using your gum paste, even for a couple of minutes, fold up your rolled out sheet and seal it in a ziplock bag. Otherwise you'll be kneading and re-rolling it out!Pick up your cut outs using a spatula or, if you can't find your spatula because your two year old has an odd habit of stealing and hiding kitchen utensils, simply gently slide the cut outs off the table and into your hand. Set in your celform. Gently push down a bit so the center begins to cup. I SAID GENTLY!!!!

Set those aside while we do the next step so they have a chance to dry a bit. Take the small daisy cutter and cut out a crap ton *not actual measurement*. Seriously, I don't know how many I used per flower. Just cut out a bunch. You must work fast with these as they dry very fast! Using a small knife, cut each daisy in half and then cut each petal in half. Like so:
If you don't fancy the color of your flowers at this point, or if you have left them white, you can paint them now! Go to the liquor cabinet and find the cheap vodka, cuz when you use the expensive vodka, The Dude gets grumpy. See babe, I remembered that little lesson from last time!Now drink! No, that's not right. In a small cup, combine a couple tablespoons of vodka with your food coloring of choice. Using a small brush paint the flowers. Use a small amount please! While the vodka helps it dry quicker, if you use too much it will start to eat away at your sugar and get gummy.

Now get your gum glue or water. You can use a small paintbrush (recommended) or a Q-tip (not so much). Start attaching your small daisy halves around the center. Gently push them on to secure.
Now take a small ball of gum paste and flatten is a bit by pressing it against a sieve. No, I'm not crazy *lie*. We're doing this to get the pattern on the gum paste! I don't know why I didn't take a picture, loser I guess. Using a little glue, attach your center. I omitted a small step that the other tutorial has and I'm kicking myself for forgetting! Using small scissors, make small cuts into the center piece to help give it more texture. Paint if you'd like!

Set your pieces out to dry. Set one daisy head (one of the ones with a center) on top of a plain daisy head so you have a double layer of petals. Use a dot of gum paste glue to hold it together. Does that make sense? I guess you could use just a single one, but trust me, it looks so fine with a little more depth.
That's it. Seriously. Go try it. When people start raving about your mad decorating skills you can come back and thank me.

It won't look this shiny when it's dry. This was right after I painted one of them.

I Suck At Blogging

2010-01-19T11:14:00.005-06:00

At least I can admit it. I have left my little blog to whither and die and that makes me a sucky person. Not because I had a huge following, but because the few people that check it are important to me.

I have been doing plenty of stuff, possibly too much. I shall try and pull in the reigns and be less of go-getter. No, that's not right. I WILL try and be inspired to post more!

The dieting thing had me kind of uninspired to cook/bake, but I'm back on it with more self control. Instead of baking cookies with the kiddos last night (and thereby eating several warm cookies straight off the cooling wrack) I left The Dude to do the baking with the kids, while I got a shower in.

I AM working on my birthday cake and so far, so fabulous! I'm making gumpaste Gerbera Daisies! They were so easy and so cute!

This picture was taken with my iPhone so the quality is, lets be honest, lackluster.

She's shiny cuz she's not dry. It won't be shiny when it's on the cake.

I've got several more drying at home and hope to post a little "how to" later this week.

Also, I have discovered the roll recipe to end all roll recipes. Seriously, coming from an avid carb lover, this is simply THE BEST roll recipe I've come across. One of my sisters, who has worked in many-a-restaurants, tells me these are an exact replica (or better) of a specific brand of rolls that several of the restaurants she has worked in used.

I will grace you with that little gem later as well.

Last thing, and then I'll shut up: the twins were scouted for a movie! It was an exciting experience. The first audition was held at the same time/place as they were casting for extras in a drag queen scene. OMG, the girls were loving all the queens! The second audition was much more formal and serious. They had catering and everything, lol. Unfortunately, or not, actually, they did not get the roll. We were the only ones from out of town (it was being shot in New Orleans) and the casting director repeatedly asked how far we lived, how long the drive was, etc. They came out and ranted and raved about the girls, but again brought up the distance (55 miles). The agent that scouted the girls followed up and it was indeed our not being "in town" that was the deciding factor. Seriously, now that I am over the star-struck thing, I am kinda glad they didn't get it. That would have been a hectic 3 months!

There WILL be a white Christmas at my house!

2009-12-10T13:56:00.003-06:00

What's that saying? A sucker is born every minute?

Well, my friends, my minute has come.

I realized this after I clicked "order" on this site.

Yes, while most of the country is trying to dig themselves out of that snowy mess, I am ordering "Snow in Seconds." Come on though, how awesome is this stuff? You can sprinkle it outside and it will look all snowy-like. In a few days, it will dehydrate but all you have to do is spray it with more water and BLAMMO! Snowy again!

I'm totally sold. I bought the big-boy pack.

My Dad will probably scold me when he sees it and whip out a massive stash of it yeah he totally is THAT Dad. I distinctly remember him drinking orange soda out of beakers when we were growing up. We were quite possibly the only kids in the neighborhood that had hazmat spills in our garage.

I am totally stoked to get this stuff in the mail. I am possibly MORE excited than the kids will be.

MAGIC SNOW!!!!!!

**All of you who are cursing me and my "warm" weather can hush...or move here. Yes, YOU. You know who you are.

Beautiul Christmas Wall Art & SITSMAS!!

2009-12-08T06:29:00.005-06:00

First and foremost, Merry SITSmas!! Head on over to the SITS girls' site and link up for some bloggy love.

My hunt for all things Christmas knows no bounds. I found this fab little idea on Lowe's website. Yeah, I browse the Lowe's website. I must be perfectly honest with you here: I did not make this project. My good friend Ali did. She works at a lumber yard and had to work last Saturday. I knew it was gonna be slow due to the cold, yucky weather that was forecast so I emailed her the link and suggested it as a way to pass the time.

You probably have most, if not all of the needed items at home!

The only thing she did differently is that instead of building a frame and using a drop cloth for the base of the project, she simply re purposed some old artwork from her college days! I was none too happy with her for painting over her artwork, but it's already done! As an art major, she has a bunch of old paintings on canvas. She said it took her about 1/2 hr to complete the project. She bought a string of lights from the dollar store that have 8 different settings! It really makes the snowflake look awesome, AND it's fun to change it up with the different light patterns.

The first of our children to see this hanging on the wall just stood there screaming "OH MY GOSH!!!" They LOVE it, and so do we.

Peppermint Marshmallows

2009-12-07T15:26:00.005-06:00

I know, right? Why do I opt to do baking/cooking/crafty things when I very well should be cleaning or something? I dunno, but I do.

I did all kinds of productive things this weekend. And by productive, I mean in the sense that it's productive for my sanity...not so much in the productive for my home's aesthetic appearance sort of way.

Friday night we got snow. Ok, that is perhaps a lie. The surrounding areas got snow. We got a lot of really cold rain. BUT, around 11pm there was a patch of snow on the radar that was making it's way our direction. Unfortunately I could not keep my little eyes open to wait and see if it actually snowed. Whatevs.

In any event, it was cold. I introduced the kids to hot chocolate. What goes better with hot chocolate than marshmallows!! Even better still? Peppermint marshmallows!!

I had seen a recipe for marshmallows on RootsandWingsCo WAAAYY back around Easter time (I wonder if they consider me a stalker?? lol). I had full intention of making their chocolate covered Easter egg marshmallows, but that never happened. I did, however, save the recipe.

3 envelopes of Knox gelatin

1/2 cup cold water

2 cups granulated sugar

2/3 cups corn syrup

1/4 cup water

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 tablespoon vanilla extract

2 Tablespoons pulverized candy cane

Powdered sugar for dredging

In the bowl of your stand mixer, dissolve gelatin in cold water for 10 minutes. Meanwhile, in a small pot on the stove, combine sugar, corn syrup and 1/4 cup water. Bring to a boil and let boil for 1 minute. Pour boiling mixture into dissolved gelatin. Whip on high speed for 12 minutes, adding salt and vanilla. Here is where I strayed.

I have a TON of those giant candy canes. I broke one in half and pulverized the son of a gun in my magic bullet. I added about 2 Tablespoons to the marshmallow mixture.

Transfer mixture to a foil lined pan that has been sprayed with Pam. It also helps to spray your spatula or spoon. I took of my rings, sprayed my hands with Pam and spread evenly into the pan. Cover with a sheet of foil (again sprayed with Pam) and allow to set for an hour or so.

**NOTE** do NOT run your stand mixer on high during a very important Saints game, as they narrowly hold on to their perfect season. It will most definitely upset your husband.

After removing the top foil I sifted powdered sugar all over the top. Be liberal here people. Turn pan over onto cutting board and peel off bottom foil. Sift more powdered sugar. At this point my kitchen had a white haze floating about. It was kinda nice, lol. Made me happy!

Using a large kitchen knife, cut into cubes. You're going to need A LOT more powdered sugar to keep 'em from sticking to your knife. Toss all of the marshmallows in powdered sugar.

OH THE YUMMINESS!

The Land of Milk and Honey...Balls

2009-12-04T10:05:00.003-06:00

Oh how I love some good balls.

Tis the season for various balls of yumminess.

Get your minds out of the gutter people!

Since I found this recipe on Mr. Breakfast, I've made them 3 times (only found the recipe last Sunday). Seriously, The Dude loves these and so do the kids, soooooo why not? They're super easy, nutritious, and a quick breakfast.

Milk & Honey Balls

1 Cup peanut butter (creamy or crunchy, your choice)

1 Cup honey

2 Cups oats

2 Cups nonfat instant dry milk

Combine all ingredients in medium sized bowl. You can mash it all up with your hands or with a spoon, whatever you fancy. I think I used about one Tablespoon per ball. Shoot for about a one inch ball. Your hands will be sticky...deal with it.

The add-in possibilities are endless: chopped dates, raisins, mini chocolate chips, nuts, coconut (toasted or not), and dried fruit actually. I could probably go on and on, but I'll stop there.

These are a little sticky to eat. Actually, sticky is a strong word. There is an ever so slight stick to them. You could easily remedy this by rolled them in toasted coconut, crushed pretzels, crushed cereal, nuts, whatever. I like them just how they are.

Nutrition Facts (per ball)
Serving Size 35 g
Amount Per Serving
Calories
95
Calories from Fat
38
% Daily Value*
Total Fat
4.2g
6%
Saturated Fat
1.0g
5%
Cholesterol
1mg
0%
Sodium
39mg
2%
Total Carbohydrates
12.9g
4%
Dietary Fiber
0.9g
4%
Sugars
9.1g
Protein
2.9g
Vitamin A 1%
•
Vitamin C 0%
Calcium 2%
•
Iron 2%
Nutrition Grade B
* Based on a 2000 calorie diet

A Very Special Thought on the Pot Thursday

2009-11-19T11:15:00.003-06:00

You know, like a "very special episode of Home Improvement." Seriously? You're gonna take on serious subject matter on "Home Improvement?" Well yes, this Thursday's installment is semi-serious. Not serious in the "oh crap my arm just fell off" off sort of way, but in the "well that just sucks" kinda way.

My twinkies just turned 4. On Tuesday we had their 4 yr old checkup. We did the complete physical, including vision checks, blood draws, urinalysis and a hearing check. That last one was where we had a problem. Twin A all but failed her hearing test.

I stood just outside the door of the tiny room where they were giving the test. I could only see her little legs casually kicking as the nurse stood in front of her, operating the machine.

"Raise your hand when you hear a beep."

Nothing

"Come on hunny, let me know when you hear it."

Still nothing.

"You can't hear that?"

"What about this?"

At this point tears are streaming down my face. The nurse looks back at me and says,

"We're gonna close the door now and try this again."

Twin B looks up at me and say, "I could hear it Mama. Why can't she hear it?"

I had suspected that Twin A had some sort of hearing problem but ignored my instincts and let other people, ahem, tell me that it was nothing.

All of those times that she asked for a song or the movie to be turned louder, I told her to simply pay attention more.

All of those times she'd respond to my questions with a "what?" or "huh?" I'd brushed off as her being inattentive.

The speech problems, I let people tell me that it was normal and that she'd grow out of it.

"Don't compare the girls. They are different and will develop at different rates." But I knew something was off. I wish I had done something about it sooner.

Twin B came home and proudly recited The Pledge of Allegiance. When I asked Twin A if she wanted to do it to, she looked at me blankly and said, "I've never heard that before." Cripes, how much has she been missing?

How many times did she go to time out for "not listening," all the while, she simply couldn't.

I'm fairly certain I won't be getting any Mother of the Year awards this year. What can ya do? She more than likely will not remember all of this stuff when she's an adult, but I will. Ah yes, nothing like parental guilt.

So yeah, these were my Thoughts on the Pot today...actually, they've been my thoughts since Tuesday morning.

I realize this is not a fatal diagnosis. I realize that there are other children with much more serious issues, but this is MY kid so it's a big deal to me.

Baby It's Cold Outside

2009-11-13T13:48:00.004-06:00

Perhaps cold is too strong of a word. It was mild outside today. Puts me in the mood for some nice soup. Hot soup with some fresh baked bread puts me in a super good mood.

I have a friend from college who is now a personal chef/caterer. I know what you're thinking, "She went to colleg??" I dabbled a bit. Anyway, she is always posting pictures of these fabulous things she makes and sometimes shares her recipes! This one is for Tomato Basil Soup. And away we go!

Roasted Tomato Basil Soup

8-10 Roma totatoes, halved

2 large onions, quartered

4 large cloves of garlic, whole (I used an entire head of garlic)

2 cans of tomatoes (juice and all, kids)

1 Cup fresh basil or 1/4 Cup frozen (apparently Trader Joe's sells frozen basil, I have personally, never seen it)

2 T Worcestershire sauce

1 quart chicken stock/broth (or vegetable stock for vegans)

Olive oil

Salt & Pepper

In a large bowl, toss tomatoes, onions, and garlic with olive oil (she uses 5-6 Tablespoons, I did not use nearly that much. Just coat them all really well). Season with salt and pepper. Spread out onto a large rimmed baking sheet and roast for 20-30 minutes in a 400 degree oven.

Add the roasted veggies and remaining ingredients into a pot and bring to a boil. Simmer 15 minutes.

Using a hand blender, blend ingredients well, or do this can be done in a standard blender in a few batches (please let it cool down a bit before doing this, otherwise you'll have a mess on your hands!).

You can serve as is, or run it through food mill to get a smoother soup. Straining it would also work. I just served mind as is and it was wonderful. You can garnish it with some fresh cream and it would be fab! Enjoy!

OOooh-Rah!

2009-11-10T13:24:00.003-06:00

Happy 234th Birthday Marines!

Oooh-Rah, Teufel Hundin!

Much love to all of the Marines out there, especially to MY Marine. Love you babe.

They just keep growing.

2009-11-09T14:28:00.006-06:00

Testing, testing...is this thing on?

Helloooooo!?

Echo...echo...echo...echo...echo...

Alrighty well, so I've been MIA quite a bit. I have no real explanation for that. I still read everyone's blogs, I just felt I didn't have anything to talk about.

This past weekend we held the girls' 4th birthday party and we had a blast!

Mostly, I'm just gonna throw a crap ton of pictures your way.

But first, let me tell you about the cake. OMG, it tasted SUPERFAB! The cake itself was alternating layers of vanilla almond and chocolate almond cake (one twin prefers vanilla, the other chocolate) with alternating fillings of whipped ganache and almond cream. Seriously, yum. I also tried my hand at modeling things out of gum paste. It is actually a lot easier than it seems. The twins love the movie "Ratatouille" so that was the theme of their cake and we made our own pizzas to keep with the chef theme

My first go at the character Remy turned out cute. Unfortunately he lost his head in "Pam falling out of the cabinet" incident and I had to quickly make a new one which did not turn out so cute...eh, whatever.

On with the pictures!

The birthday girls! This was their first outfit. They changed at least 3 times...by their own insistence.

The Dude and Twin A.

A MammaDucky and her ducklings

Pickles

Jumpin' around

I got plenty of kisses

Twin B

This, my friends, was an action shot. Seriously. I know, right? I should like, win awards for my stellar photography. Stop laughing.

I saw the girls drive their Jeep behind the bounce house. Then I heard cries for help amidst giggles. This is what I saw. My brain could not figure out how they possibly had accomplished a wheely in their Barbie Jeep.

It wasn't until I came around to the side, seeing The Dude nearly in tears from laughing so hard, that I saw how they had done it. They had driven UP AND ONTO a big ball. They wanted to do it again and again.

Thought on the Pot Thursday

2009-10-22T15:30:00.003-05:00

Small towns, do I like living in one??

Major dislike: Everyone knows your business. As in, when The Dude was growing up and he got in trouble with his parents, the news had spread via gossip exactly what he had done and what his punishment would be BEFORE he'd even started serving his time (so to speak).

Major Likes: Everyone Knows your business. My mail delivery lady not only delivers to my office, she also delivers to my babysitter's house. She, having seen me at work, seen me on our commercial, and having seen me drop off the twins at the babysitter's after preschool, knows all of my children. She reports back to me how they're doing. Just this morning she said, "Yesterday when I was delivering, your son was on the porch and kept saying 'You're not my Mommy!!' He had been waiting for you to drop the girls off from preschool and got excited when he heard my footsteps. Cute kids!"

Come on! You don't get that in big cities!!!

I guess I like the small town living.

Do you have any "Thoughts on the Pot?" Link back to my Thursday Thoughts so I can rest easy knowing I'm not the only one. HA!!

Thought on the Pot Thursday

2009-10-15T10:25:00.002-05:00

Today's thought actually started before I sat down. It started when I looked in the mirror. As I stared in horror I thought, "Dang, I look like death warmed over" ("Death warmed up" for anyone in the UK").

I sat and began to wonder. What, exactly, does that phrase mean? Is it a back-handed compliment, as in you look slightly better than death cuz at least you're warmed up? Or is it and even greater insult, as in food warmed over (or up) isn't quite as desirable as fresh food?? So I look worse than death? That is quite a possibility.

In either case, I don't look so hot today.

I did a Google image search for "Death warmed over" and came up with this

Ha, I wish.

Every Little Thing, Is gonna Be Alright

2009-10-14T11:13:00.002-05:00

I woke up this morning feeling rather crappy. I caught the sinus infection that my little ones had last week. Whatever. A Mamma must push on, right? So I got up and started into my regular routine. I'll admit it, I wasn't in the best of moods.

It was then that I heard the sweetest sounds coming from the other room. My three little birds were singing "Three Little Birds."

What a wonderful way to turn my yucky start into a beautiful morning.

Welcome to the World

2009-10-12T11:20:00.003-05:00

Welcome to the world Miss Charlie. Can't wait to meet you.

Love your Aunt,

Thought on the Pot Thursday

2009-10-08T10:28:00.002-05:00

Ya know how everyone else's blog has those cutesy days of the week, where they do something specific that day, each week? "Think about it Thursdays," "Foto Fiesta Friday," "Not Me Mondays," you get the picture.

Well, I've come up with my own. It's neither cutesy or ladylike. It's bound to repulse some people. Eh, whatevs. You no likey, you no lookey.

Here at the office I get a little special time just to myself...it's when I'm using the bathroom. I don't get that at home because usually, there is an audience, or at the very least, someone barges in demanding something or crying. Never fails. The Dude, now he gets all the alone bathroom time he wants. Me? No so much. Anyhow, at work I get to close the door and lock it. Not that there is a need to, but the simple fact that I can. Mwuahahahahaha!

I've mentioned before how Fifi's bathroom is pretty and relaxing. In my brief visits, I always have some kind of odd, kooky, fun thought. Thus, "Thought on the Pot Thursdays" was born.

This week's thought: I wonder how much weight I can subtract from my own weight when accounting for boobage and hair. I have A LOT of both of those. I have large Ta-tas and tons of thick, long, hair.

I'm figuring I could subtract at least 5lbs, maybe as much as 10lbs. Yes, I am ridiculous like that. In my head, I will think about how much weight I can subtract for my shoes, clothes, jewelry, etc. Common, you know you do it too.

Remember WAY back at the beginning of the year when I said I was gonna lose weight? Yeah, well, not so much. As per usual, I gave up fairly quickly. Then I visited my Dad and Step mom and saw how awesome they were doing with their weight loss. I had to know the secret ASAP!

No secret at all. It was just an absolute change in how you think about eating. Now I'm eating 6 times a day. I'm eating a high protein breakfast, where as before I skipped all together. I count calories using the "Lose It" app on my iPhone. I'm accountable for what I put in MY mouth. In just over 2 weeks I've dropped 10lbs. I have more energy. I feel better!

This is something I can stick to. I am never hungry, and don't feel deprived. Now, do I get an occasional chocolate craving? Heck yeah, but I choose wisely and exercise portion control.

Next week's "Thought on the pot Thursday" won't be this in depth...promise.

Now I'm off to figure out a little button thingy, lmao.

Dear Pickles

2009-10-01T15:39:00.003-05:00

To my dearest baby boy,

Should you again wake from your angelic slumber at 3am, thinking it is a good time to play and jump on your bed, please re-think the matter.

Mommy does not play well at that hour.

Mommy does not want to see your flashlight, flickering in her face at 4am.

Mommy loves you, and simply ADORES your smiling face, but I love it even more when it is peacefully dreaming, in the middle of the night.

Would it be too much to ask that you leave your little pecker INSIDE your diaper when you sleep?

Mommy doesn't quite enjoy cleaning peeps off the wall and bedding when I could be dreaming about relaxing in a hot bathtub.

Should Mommy, in an exhausted, desperate state, decide to bring you downstairs

please do not proceed to rip out her bookmark from her copy of "Breaking Dawn"...that's her happy place.

All of that being said, thanks for the extra cuddles and all night cartoon-a-thon! I never quite GOT "Yo Gabba-Gabba" until I watched it in that sleepy haze.

P.S. Can you share with Mommy your secret recipe for energy?

My Random Thoughts Know No Bounds

2009-09-30T10:52:00.003-05:00

I've mentioned before that some of my best thinking is done in the bathroom at work. I have several theories as to why this is so, despite the fact that my visits are generally less than 2 minutes in length.

Anyhow, so I'm sitting in there and notice a big, dead bug, right smack in the middle of the floor. After recovering from my shuddering, I realize the bugger is still alive. It kinda thrashes about every few seconds. What, exactly, is it doing? Is it attempting a suicide by human? Is it trying to lure me out into the open so it's little friends can attack? Is it simply waiting for it's grandbugs to be summoned to his deathbed so he can utter some cryptic message?

I envision the bug muttering, "Rosebud" to it's perplexed kin before expiring.

It's then that the little sucker jumps up and runs away.

Weird

Deep thoughts,

Pasta Salad's Finest Day

2009-09-25T10:33:00.003-05:00

Everyone has had pasta salad. They all kinda start to taste the same. Similar ingredients, similar dressings. Very blah. The bakery/cafe I used to work at out in Riverside, CA used to have THE BEST pasta salad I had ever tasted. It was so different from every other one I'd ever tried. It was prepared well before even the early crew got there, so I never got to see exactly what went in it. I made my guesstimations, but it was never quite right.

Enter Meagan, stage left. Meagan's family and I bonded while her brother and The Dude were in Iraq together. Our two Marines actually shared the same birthday. I traveled to Texas to visit and Meagan made this wonderful pasta salad for me. Jaw on the counter. THIS WAS IT! This recipe tasted just like the one back in Riverside! So yummy. I ate well more than my share.

Meag's Pasta Salad

1 lb pasta (I used tri-colored, cheese filled tortellini)
¼ lb summer sausage or salami
¼ lb sliced pepperoni
¼ lb Asiago cheese, diced
1 6oz can sliced black olives, drained
1 red bell pepper, chopper
1 green orange or yellow pepper, chopped
2 tomatoes, chopped
1 (7oz) pkg. dry Italian salad dressing mix
¾ c extra virgin olive oil
¼ c balsamic vinegar
2 T dried oregano
1 T dried parsley
¼ lb grated Parmesan cheese
1 small block mozzarella cheese, cubed (I had fresh mozzarella balls on hand)
Salt and pepper to taste

Cook pasta in salted water until al dente. Drain and rinse with cool water

Chop/slice all of the ingredients that need it.

It all looked so pretty lined up on my cutting board. I couldn't decide which photo I liked best.

So I included them all.

In a large bowl, toss the pasta with salami, pepperoni, Asiago cheese, black olives, red pepper, orange/yellow pepper, tomatoes, and mozzarella cheese. Stir in the envelope of dressing mix. Cover and refrigerate for at least one hour.

For the dressing, whisk together the olive oil, balsamic vinegar, oregano, parsley, Parmesan cheese, salt and pepper. Just before serving, pour dressing over the salad and mix well.

Man, I'm telling you, F A B U L O U S! If you're bringing this to a function, be sure and make a few copies of the recipe because you WILL be asked for it!

**You can totally leave this vegetarian. Omit the meats and toss in some artichoke hearts or mushrooms or whatever!

Don't feel bound by the recipe, use whatever things you have in the fridge. The key here is the dressing!

Overdrive

2009-09-24T11:08:00.003-05:00

I have been running on it. I have been getting at least 8 hrs of sleep for the last week and I'm LOVING it.

One would think that would leave me plenty of time and energy to blog. One would be mistaken. With my new found energy, I have been doing so much. I've been snapping pictures of it all, promising myself I would throw it up on the ol' blog. Alas, that has not happened. At my current state, I'm best described as a chicken with it's head cut off, after drinking about ten Full Throttles (The Dude's energy drink of choice).
BUT, after a week, I feel my natural, sleep induced high is evening out. My body is slowly starting to adjust to all this extra sleep. Me-thinks my mind will calm down as well and I'll be able to get all this back-logged blogging done. Get yer pens and pencils ready kids. It's gonna come rapid fire.

Ta-ta for now!

Men and the bathroom.

2009-09-02T09:47:00.005-05:00

Can anyone explain to me why men take SOOOOO long in the bathroom in the morning? Can't they just do their business and get out like normal people and by normal I mean women.

Seriously, The Dude monopolizes the downstairs bathroom for at LEAST 10 minutes in the morning. Normally this wasn't a problem as his little ritual was done before the kids wake up. Now that business has slowed a bit, he's going into work an hour later in the mornings creating a bathroom traffic jam.

We have one bathroom downstairs, ONE. This morning he strolled into the bathroom, locking the door behind him I don't know about you, but as a Mom it's been a LOOOONG time since I got to lock a bathroom door. No sooner does the door close does Pickles come running around the corner squealing about having to potty. Had the door not been locked I would have simply yanked the potty chair out into the hall and let him do his thing. But no, locked. He bangs on the door for Daddy to "Open up!!" and I quietly scoop him up and tell him we have to run upstairs. Sadly, he cannot hold it. Great. It's not even 7am and I've been peed on. Not to mention my coffee is sitting in her cup, rather lonely on the kitchen table, getting colder by the second.

I clean up Pickles and head back downstairs. Just as I reach for my dear friend coffee, Twin B comes tearing around the corner squealing about having to potty. She begins banging on the bathroom door, yelling at The Dude. Just as I reach down for her, HE starts yelling back! What the hell? Ummm, no. Do not yell at the not quite 4 yr old because she has to use the bathroom and you're STILL occupying it.

I try explaining to her that we can go upstairs, but she ain't havin' it. She continues to yell. The Dude continues to yell. Enter Twin A. Now the three of 'em are yelling. Twin B is yelling at The Dude, The Dude is yelling at Twin B, and Twin A chimes in with a "Don't yell at my sister!"

I drop my face in my hands (which are filled with clothing that has yet to be put on the screaming banshees) as I realize that this is going to be a very long morning.

I dream of one day relaxing on the couch with a HOT cup of coffee in the morning, like this bitch:

Let's Boost our Local Economies!!!

2009-08-27T14:30:00.004-05:00

Hey y'all! I was blog hopping earlier, like ya do, when I saw an ad for someone else's Scentsy website (remember, I talked about it the other day? Scroll down, you'll see it). Being nosey, I had to click on it and boy was I glad I did! Do you see my new button----->Click on it. It's nothing for my site personally but if you're looking for MY Scentsy site click here, rather, it's to a grassroots effort to boost your local economy!

It breaks my heart to watch families forced out of their homes on the nightly news. To see generations old family-run businesses shut down due to our current economic crisis is a shame. With "Contribute in 2009", we can help boost our local economies! Simple click here

read a little about the idea and the goals, then make your pledge! You're not giving any money now. The point is to get people to spend $50 at their local businesses! Easy huh? October 12th is the day. I pledged!

Scentsy, which started as a small family run operation, has a business philosophy of "contribute more than you take," is based off of an Albert Einstein quote:

“Try not to become a man of success. Rather, become a man of value. A successful man takes out of life more than he puts in. A man of value will give more than he receives.”

Fairly nice principles to live by, I say.

Really though, visit the Contribute in 2009 and read about what spurred this movement, it's truly wonderful what the owners of this company have done for their local community. Then PLEDGE!!!!

Gettin' my crafty mo-jo back.

2009-08-26T13:35:00.006-05:00

What's this? I'm posting again? What's that? Twice this week so far? It's so wonderful!!!

I have mentioned a time or ten that I really enjoy Roots and Wings Co's blog. Like, I'm borderline stalker material here. The craftyness, cuteness, and "why didn't I think of that," just oozes from their blog. It was no surprise when I saw their little tutorial for making this apple garland. Eeeeek! It's so stinkin' cute! It came together really easily and fast. Low cost too! An unintended bonus is that it's sort of a learning tool for my little ones. They are repeatedly counting the apples: all the apples, then all the red ones, the green ones, yellow ones...you get the idea!

I used:

2 sheets each of green, red, and yellow felt

1 sheet brown felt

1 fat quarter each of green, red and yellow fabric (I left mine folded in half lengthwise, how it came from the store, that way it was already doubled up for a two sided garland!)

my sewing machine...we'll call her Bessie

a needle and thread

3 sheets of paper with 4 (each sheet) apples drawn on it

Anjanette did hers slightly different than I did mine, but just do whatever you feel works best!

You can freehand the apple shapes or find one you like online. I used a bit of clipart and just modified the size, copy and pasted it so there was one in each corner of the paper, then printed 3 copies. The next part may SOUND confusing at first, but it really is what makes this so easy. It's all about the layering.

First, lay one sheet of, let's say green, felt down. Next, lay your fat quarter on top of that, followed by the second piece of green felt. Lastly, pin one sheet of paper with your apples on top of all of that. The various layers' edges will hang over, that's fine. I always save scraps that look big enough to do something with later.

Pull out Bessie, or whatever you call your sewing machine. Sew along, tracing the apple shape. Repeat for each apple. Now, the paper should pull off cuz you've essentially made a perforated pop out, lol. Cut out your fabric apples, leaving 1/4 inch (or more or less, your preference) around the edges.

Now, we want to trim out the top layer of felt around the inside to reveal your coordinating fabric! Save the centers of your green apples, you'll cut out the leaf shapes from that! You can do both sides for a double sided garland, or just one if you prefer the one sided variety.

Repeat this with your other two colors.

Cut out long narrow rectangles out of the brown felt. These will be your stems. You want to cut them double as long as you'd like them to look. We're going to loop them and this will be what we string the apples up with (take a closer look at the top picture). Cut out some little leaves from the green felt leftovers. Using a needle and thread, put a few stitches in to attach the stems and leaves! Voila!!! String your apples up on ribbon or like I did, a thinly cut strip of fabric.

My munchkins counting the apples

See RootsandWingsCo for a proper tutorial, ha ha ha.

Hello Fall!!!

I'm like, a computer genius!

2009-08-24T15:52:00.005-05:00

Ok, not so much. But still! I totally made that new button you see to your left my left? no, your left. Who's left? I dunno dudes, look where all the info is ----->.

Hello, is anyone still reading this? I am a BAAAAAD blogger. I have neglected you tiny blog, and I am sorry.

Busy season at work, training Pickles (potty, sleep, and losing the pacifier), launching my new business venture see new button. It all added up and I just never sat still long enough to blog. That, and I really didn't have anything to say, shocking, I know.

So yeah, I'm here. Shall try and be about more often.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Not one above shameless self promotion, let me just give you a taste of my new business venture.

Seriously y'all. How friggen cute is that?

I sell Scentsy wickless, flameless, sootless candles now. Totally not something I EVER saw myself doing. I'm just not that kinda gal. But when I got my order in (ordered from an out of state friend) I immediately fell in love with it. Pickles has touched the warmer and the wax numerous times and has never been burned (it just doesn't get that hot!). No flames good, cuz my kids were always trying to blow out my scented candles, no soot The Dude REALLY liked that aspect cuz apparently burning candles is bad for your A/C...who knew, right? There are a crap-ton of scents I can mail samples of scents on cotton balls or something like that, and lots of cute warmers in various sizes.

But MammaDucky, how does it work? Well dear bloggyland, it uses foodgrade paraffin wax and a lightbulb. No seriously, like that's it. I love this stuff. Ok, so all of that, and this tagline hooked me:

Bahahahahahahaha!! Good stuff.

So yeah, clink on my button to be redirected to my Scentsy site.

P.S. Don't stalk me, mm-kay?

Debauchery certain to ensue.

2009-08-06T13:23:00.005-05:00

Debauchery

de·bauch·er·y
(dĭ-bô'chə-rē)

Archaic: Seduction from morality, allegiance, or duty.

Alright y'all. I'm heading out to see my Shasty. I'll be back next week. I don't want to hear any reports back from the sitter about y'all playing any reindeer games, mmm-kay?!Pickles trying on some Christmas gear at Hobby Lobby last weekend.

P.S. Dude, my hips are kinda lookin' slimmer in this pic!! If you disagree with me, I'll just delete your comment, HUGS!!!

You say I'm crazy like it's a bad thing.

2009-08-03T13:46:00.004-05:00

I we are potty training AND sleep training Pickles...at.the.same.time. Oh, and I'm also supposed to make sure he ditches his pacifier or as he calls it, "nu-nu" by his second birthday. When is his second birthday you ask? In two weeks!

Potty training is going super-fab. The first week of me us putting him on the potty, he absolutely refused. He'd pitch a fit and say that he was the baby and that he wanted to wear diapers. Fine, whatever. I'd always heard boys were more difficult. BRING IT, SON!

Monday of last week I went to pick up the kids. The sitter gives me an odd look, looks at Pickles and says, "Tell Mommy what you did." Crap, what did he do? Ruin your favorite dress? Burn down your kitchen?

Pickles looks up at me, smiles and says, "I potty." Pretty much ever since that point he's been in big boy underwear. The only occasional accident we have is with going #2 tmi? sorry.

Pickles has always been my difficult sleeper. The twins? Slept like champs. I think that was God trying to give me a break.

I searched the Internet looking at various techniques. Some just didn't suit me us. I found SuperNanny's Sleep Separation Technique to be the right fit. I started last night, bracing myself for the, excuse me, shitstorm of the century. Surprisingly enough, it was merely and afternoon shower of a fit. Hey now, this just might work!

As you know baking is my happy place. It de-stresses me. The only problem is that pesky weight issue that I'm still fighting. My solution is to make things I can give away. Mostly I bring my goodies to work. No, not THOSE goodies, well, yes, well I do bring those with me as they're part of me...where was I???

Oh yes, baking. This weekend I baked up some super-fab cookies. They're a twist on the traditional sugar cookie that has a bit more adult flavor. Note: Pickles stole just as many of these cookies as he would any other cookie. They're kid tested. Found the recipe in an ad in a magazine.

Toasted Sesame Cookies

2 3/4 cups flour

2 teaspoons cream of tartar

1 teaspoon baking soda

1/4 teaspoon salt

1 cup (2 sticks) butter, softened

1 1/2 cups sugar

2 eggs

1 teaspoon vanilla

1 Cup toasted sesame seeds, divided

2 ounces bittersweet baking chocolate, melted (Optional)

*you can buy already toasted sesame seeds but I had bulk quantities of plain sesame seeds. I toasted them in a large skillet over medium heat. Stir them every so often and when they start to get a nice toasted color, remove from heat.

Directions:1. Mix flour, cream of tartar, baking soda and salt in medium bowl. Set aside. Beat butter in large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed until light and fluffy. Add sugar; beat until well blended, scraping sides of bowl occasionally. Beat in eggs and vanilla. Gradually beat in flour mixture and 1/4 cup of the toasted sesame seed on low speed until well mixed.
2. Refrigerate dough 2 hours or until firm.
3. Preheat oven to 350°F. Shape dough into 1-inch balls. Roll in remaining 3/4 cup toasted sesame seed. Place 2 inches apart on parchment lined baking sheet.
4. Bake 6 to 8 minutes or until lightly browned. Cool on baking sheets 1 minute. Remove to wire racks; cool completely.

The original recipe said bake @ 400 but I found that my cookies browned too quickly without the middles setting up, so I reduced the temperature. The original also said to drizzle with melted chocolate. The Dude's opininon was to leave them plain so I obliged. Besides, adding chocolate would just make me want to eat them even more.

Does this attitude make my butt look big?

2009-07-28T14:28:00.004-05:00

I think I've mentioned before how one of my bosses/The Dude's aunt enjoys buying my affections. Yesterday she sent me to her favorite boutique store once again. Apparently she felt I needed some new slacks. My holey jeans are not cutting it in her book.

I role up to the shop and all 3 parking spots are filled with Cadillacs. What the hell man? So I circled the block about ten times before deciding to just park as close as possible and walk. I need the exercise, right?!

I opened the door to the shop and inhale the distinct fruity-musky scent of the boutique. I'm greeted with a "Hey girl!" from some invisible person. Fifi called ahead. They already had my dressing room filled and waiting. Another salesgirl was trying to assist some eccentric old bird who was going on and on about her brand new Electric Blue Cadillac convertible.

"I'll be right outside!!!" Chirped my helper. I stripped down and started to pull the first piece of clothing off the hanger. Could. Not. Get. The. Damned. Thing. On. I struggle to get it off so I can see what the tag says.

Gasp

14. 14!!!!

"Are you alright in there? Do you need any help?"

I started hyperventilating. What the crap?! I thought I was losing weight. Somehow I've now jumped UP in pant sizes??

"Ummm, no I'm fine. Don't come in!!"

Cuz that's exactly what I need: skinny-minny to swing the door open and see me in all my glory.

I sat down on the pretty, yet ridiculously uncomfortable chair in the dressing room and just glaze over as I stared at the tag. A fourteen?! I was about to start crying when the door opened, just a tad, and another handful of clothes were shoved in.

"Here, try these. They'll look fabulous on you!"

I squeaked out, "No thanks, I'm just gonna go."

"Don't be silly! Try these on!!"

I pulled the next pair off the hanger and slipped them on.

I figured they had to be a size 16 or bigger cuz they were just floating on me.

The pants fell to the floor as I unbuttoned them. I stepped out and checked the size...size 10.

What the hell? Seriously? Are they just messing with me?? By "we" I mean the fashion industry in general. Why can't we just have an industry standard like back in the day? I don't care if it's bigger or smaller, just a standard number, mmm-kay?!I take that back. I don't want to go back so far that my size is just "chubby."

I don't need a heart attack every time I go into a dressing room. Yeah, yeah, I know, it's only the number, but it's a big deal to anyone that has ever battled the bulge.

P.S. I bought the size 10 pants. I am happily floating in them right now.

Death of a Salesman

2009-07-23T10:53:00.005-05:00

I'm almost 95% certain he was a salesman of some kind.

The Dude's last surviving grandparent passed away on Monday. It wasn't much of a shock. He'd been in hospital for two weeks and the doctors had already told us it was just a matter of time. His grandfather actually lived a lot longer than any of us expected. His wife, The Dude's Granny, passed almost two years ago and we all expected him to follow shortly thereafter. He died almost two years to the day.

Yesterday was the wake and funeral. Yes, everything all at once. Made for a long day. It wasn't without some laughs, however.

When you bring children to a funeral/wake, you're bound to end up with some funny moments...thankfully, not all of which were courtesy of my children. The Dude's cousin was kind enough to bring his son along as well.

I We tried as best as we could to explain what had happened to great grandpa to the twins before going. They had gone to see him in the hospital while he was semi-lucid, so they knew he was sick. Aunt Ali was ZERO help during all of this because she cried at the kitchen table while we did this. Anyshway, so day of funeral, The Dude had to be at the cathedral extra early and I stayed behind preparing some cupcakes for the reception that was to follow (recipe at end of post). They asked a bazillion questions and I did my best to answer. Most of my responses simply got a "But why?" from them.

At the funeral when the family was asked to come and say their final goodbyes, The Dude took Twin A, his Mom had Twin B and I had Pickles. I whispered to the girls to blow grandpa a kiss and tell him goodbye. As we got closer this is was Twin B said, rather loudly, "Hey, why is Grandpa in that box? Ya know, that's not how you tell someone goodbye, ya do it like this," as she placed one hand on her hip and waved. Stiffled laughter filled the air. Pickles refused to blow a kiss, so we just went back to our seats.

The cousin's kid was carried up to the casket where he proclaimed, "I love Grandpa's new bed! It looks so comfy!!" Hey, I never suggested we bring the kids up there!

At least the kids cut some of the sorrow and tension that filled the air.

On to cuppycakes!!

My Granny's church has a group of women that take care of food for funerals. My Granny always handles the desserts. She has one cake recipe she calls The Funeral Cake. She says it has always been the most popular at all of the funerals. So I took my cue from the expert and got her recipe. I, however, wanted to cut some of the extra mess and hassle of a regular cake and opted for cupcakes (ya know, no knife needed, no plates needed, etc).

The recipe is rather simple, but the results are yummy and incredibly moist! Get a box of chocolate cake mix with the pudding in it or simply get a regular one and toss a box of chocolate pudding in the mix, a bag of chocolate chips I used mini chips since I was doing cupcakes, and a can of cherry pie filling.

Combine the cake mix, 1/3 Cup oil, 3 eggs and 1 Cup of water, stir well. Fold in the pie filling. Spoon into lined cupcake tins and sprinkle chocolate chips on top. Bake in a 350 degree oven for 15-20 minutes.

My Granny told me sometimes she just sprinkles powdered sugar on top and other times she tops it with fresh whipped cream. I decided to do a whipped creamish topping.

We all know that whipped cream doesn't really hold up well in heat. You can stabilize it with pudding or gelatin, but the results aren't always that great. I used Dream Whip and a box of white chocolate pudding. The results were super-fab!

You definitely don't want a Buttercream type frosting, as that would be too much and far too overpowering. Whipped cream sounded about right, but I wanted a little something extra. The white chocolate pudding was just the ticket. The resulting frosting was not too sweet and just perfect for the cupcakes. Held up well too!

The Dream Whip box has the instructions on the box for making frosting. You mix the Dream whip packet with cold milk and the pudding with a mixer until medium peaks form. Yums!!
P.S. my tags for this entry remind me of Eddie Izzard's "Cake or Death" bit.
Good stuff

This job makes me look SMART!

2009-07-20T14:38:00.005-05:00

When I say things like, "I'm surrounded by idiots," at work, I think people feel like I'm exaggerating. I'm not.

As I was going through some paperwork this morning, I stumbled upon this

This is what one of my technicians wrote on a service ticket. Can you all read that? Do you see any problems with that?

Allow me to help. It says, "Found Fitten Loose on drain. Glued fitten and gave drain more fall..."

"Fitten"

Not once, but twice he wrote out "fitten." Still in the dark? The word he's searching for is FITTING. Prime example of writing how one speaks.
Sometimes it takes a good 15 minutes to decipher some of the things these guys scrawl out.

My boss still insists the days of the week are Monday, Thuesday, Wednesday, Thuesday, Friday.

No joke, I see him write it EVERY single week

Fancy Shmancy

2009-07-17T14:38:00.003-05:00

For our "big night" in New Orleans last week, we had secured some fairly inexpensive hotel rooms thanks to a friend's corporate discount. The week of said event, said friend with discount no longer works for the hotel. DIZZAMN. As Ali and I scroll through page after page of hotels in the Quarter that are not too far from the reception, she finds a deal that is too good to pass up. Where did we lay our pretty little heads last Friday night?

That's right. The mother-luvin Ritz-Carlton. Pictured above, my friends, are the chocolates they brought to lay on our pillows at turn-down time. Ali says when the lady saw the kids she threw in a few extra which I ~~ate~~ gave to the kids.

We had an amazing view of the river along with a few other nice views.

Excuse the slight blur, this was taken out of a window with a few sprinkles on it. But yeah, we had a full on view of Lenny's pad...much better view than what I photographed (I was just trying to get the river). Sadly, he was NOT sunbathing nude on the roof. Just my luck, eh?

Yeah, I took my 3 yr old twins and almost 2 year old son to stay at the Ritz. Fancy, no? How's this for fancy, they ate Lucky Dogs in bed at the Ritz-Carlton. Complete with red AND yellow ketchup. I've told them numerous times that it's called mustard but, you guessed it, I'm always wrong. What's that? You don't know what a Lucky Dog is? Here, check out their website. Anyone that has been down Bourbon knows the Lucky Dog carts. Nothing beats a Lucky Dog smothered in chili at 2am, NOTHING. Maybe that was an inaccurate statement. Nothing beats it at 2am for a pregnant lady, which was the last time I had one of those bad boys.

Shut up, shut up. Yes, I was on Bourbon Street at 2am when I was 7 months pregnant with Pickles. We had gone to a wedding and were out having fun. Perhaps I wasn't having so much fun, you know, wearing the heels, tired as hell trouncing the streets of New Orleans...whatever. I should probably mention that we also went to a strip joint that night. NOT MY IDEA! There were a bunch of us, more females than males actually, and it sounded like a good idea at the time. One particularly inebriated friend repeatedly tried to buy me a lap dance. I politely declined and asked the stripper to kindly remove her hoo-ha from my enormous belly. The stripped and I ended up chatting most of the evening. LOVED her tassels!

Where was I?
Oh yes, The Ritz. The room was ginormous and luxurious. I felt rather princessy. When people at the reception asked where we were staying, I simply replied "across the street." The usual response was, with jaws agape, "At the Ritz??" I'm thinking they all thought that was a bit above our standards and they'd be right. But like I said, it was an amazing deal so we did it.
The kids very much enjoyed the huge windows. In fact, for a little bit I thought they had all escaped the hotel room because when I came out of the bathroom they were all gone. Alas, they were simply hiding.
Pickles snapped this shot of Twin A. It made me giggle. Just the look on her face is of pure annoyance. Love it. Like, she was caught by the paparazzi leaving a club at 4am

Holla at 'cha girl!

2009-07-16T13:17:00.003-05:00

This is a very special MammaDucky entry not at all similar to the "very special episode of Full House" or any other dramedy.

Today, my dear friends, is my best friend's birthday! Yay! Shasty's birthday!!! I love me some Shasty. Do we all know the story of my Shasty and I met? Gather 'round kids. Everyone sitting Indian style that probably isn't P.C. anymore but that's what we called it when I was little. Rambler! No talking during story time!!

Ok, ready?

It was the best of times, it was the worst of times...ok, so I'm totally stealing that line, but seriously, it was. Our brave men were off at war. Left behind, in a tiny little desert town, were two beautiful young wives hush, it's my story. Actually, if I'm gonna be completely honest, there were lots of young wives left behind. Entire neighborhoods devoid of men. Only women and children remained.

I didn't know a whole lot of people out there. We had wed less than 6 months prior and I had moved there within the 3 months of his deployment. It was a lonely existence. Back then, you didn't get emails, let alone phone calls or letters. We were slaves to our phones and the mail carrier...just waiting for any word.

We both found solice in a website support group for Marine Wives. Someone asked if there were any Twentynine Palms wives on the board and all of us out in the good 'ole "Stumps" started talking online. Eventually, someone got up the courage to host a BBQ so we could all meet up. I wasn't in the best of moods when I went. I was down about not hearing from The Dude in a long time and had just gotten out of the hospital after a rather nasty asthma attack the one where they thought I had SARS. Another friend insisted I go, so I did. I was uncomfortable, to say the least. I was shy back then.

We were all standing in the kitchen chatting when the host, who was visibly pregnant, opened her freezer to get out some ice. She pulled out a bottle of vodka and remarked how she used to LOVE drinking it. A cutesy brunette standing across from me quipped, "Oh, is that how you got knocked up?" I nearly peed my pants. Immediate thought was, I LOVE THIS CHICK! Oh my heavens, someone with a sense of humor...MY kind of humor. Needless to say, not EVERYONE thought that was funny, but we did.

We've shared heartache and happiness. Good times and bad times. Her hubs got out of the Marine Corps before The Dude left for his second deployment and they moved home to Colorado, but we kept in constant contact. Shortly before The Dude's return, Shasty called me with the wonderful news that she was expecting her first child. A few short months later, with The Dude safely home, we too discovered we were pregnant. Is that not every girl's dream? To be pregnant with your best friend?! We liked it so much, in fact, that we did it again a second time. This time, I got knockered up (at her house, tee-hee) and a short time later, she too found herself with child.

We live a great distance apart. I miss my Shasty every single day. We try to chat as often as possible, but you know how difficult that can be sometimes. She is a wonderful mother and amazing friend. I am truly blessed to have her in my life. I hope to see her and her beautiful family again very soon. Love you, miss you Shasty.

P.S. I couldn't interest you in a house down here, could I?? Hey, a girl's gotta try!

P.P. S. If you haven't already clicked on her name(s) in this post (which are links to various posts on her blog), click here and check out her blog. Leave some birthday lovin'.

We're not worthy!!!!

2009-07-14T14:08:00.006-05:00

Dearest Bloggy Buddies,

I must apologize for my absentness. My stupid job apparently expects me to work?! The nerve of some people. We'll slow down soon, then I'll be back to boring you all with my ridiculous rantings on a regular basis...who's excited?? Thought so.

Let me shift gears right quick and allow you into this wonderful and exclusive world known as the life of the privileged.

The Dude and I attended a VERY swanky wedding last Friday. We're talking, this was the fanciest even I will ever attend in my life, type deal.

The actual wedding took place at New Orleans' famed St. Louis Cathedral. While it was a beautiful ceremony, the most fancy stuff was yet to come.

The reception was at the Roosevelt in New Orleans, which was newly remodeled. This, in fact, was the first even since the remodel. Anywho, the place was beautiful on it's own, but throw in a crap-ton of money for decorations and it was amazing!

Lemmie break a few things down for ya:

100,000 white roses <---NOT a typo

$20,000 wedding dress

Don't worry, I didn't see the $20,000 worth in it either, and I saw it in person!
750 guests RSVP'd

There were all kinds of foods, from appetizers, to seafood, to classic Cajun delights, to prime rib, to turkey, to pastas made in front of you, gourmet cheeses and fruit and a sushi bar.

Does that give you some kind of idea what we're dealing with here?? NO? Let me show y'all some pictures then.

The groom's cake. Representin' da Saints (Who dat?!) and the Hornets. Cake was super dry and yuck. Looked nice though.

View of the main ballroom. I say main, cuz there were like 4 rooms.

Oyster bar setup.

The tables. Those centerpieces were JAM-PACKED with roses. They had smaller center pieces with probably only 4 dozen roses on them...we took one of those home. WHAT? I had permission from the bride's Daddy!!

Martini bar cut from ice. Behind it was an ice sculpture of a fleur de lis.

Sushi bar. There were TWO sushi chefs on either side of that ice wall. Yes, those are whole fish frozen into a block of ice.

This was just the appetizer set up.

Alligator head ice sculpture with shrimp scattered in and around it. Those are oyster shooters in the shot glasses.

Sorry for the crappy picture, I took this with my phone. This dude was hand rolling cigars, which were then given out as the wedding favors. I snapped this as we waited our turn to use the photo booth. Yeah, photo booth instead of a guestbook.

The wedding cake. SUPER yummy. Almost like a doberge. White cake with strawberry Italian buttercream filling.

...And the Pièce de résistance ...

Mother-effing PERCY SLEDGE serenaded the couple for their first dance!! He sang his hit, "When a Man Loves a Woman." Quality.

2009-07-01T15:36:00.004-05:00

I will not be silenced! My Facebook page will NOT be censored!!!

Ok, perhaps I'm being a tad dramatic.

I updated my status the other day, and let's just say it didn't go over so well with my husband's ~~brat of a~~ sister. Mind you, I knew she would see it. I'm not stupid. I'll tell you what I put, followed by a little back story.

I'm sorry I'm more concerned out the BUSINESS during our busiest season than your stupid, stinky dog. Yes, she IS stupid. Something is not right with that dog. Driving an hour each way during business hours to take her to the vet is silly. P.S. They haven't cured her. She still stinks!

I knew my boss/father in law had an check up scheduled for one of his dogs that morning. I knew when he had to leave. With that in mind I had a small list of things I needed to discuss with him prior to him leaving town. I had everything organized and all the necessary documents at the ready so he wouldn't have to waste any time.

I caught him on his way in the door, talking as we walked. Suddenly his hand flew up in my face and he snapped, "I don't have time for this right now!!" and walked away. Oooooo-kay. He walked into his office and began surfing the Internet and chatting on the phone about his weekend. Just then, in walked a friend of his. They sat in his office chatting and joking until he had to leave for the appointment.

The rest of the day I had deal with the aftermath of him ignoring his very simple tasks for the day. Seriously, it would have taken maybe 5 minutes for him to address the problems I had. So I posted that little blurb on Facebook. WHAT?! I was fed up with his constant disregard for the company's well being. I didn't really appreciate him throwing his hand in my face either. I hadn't slept well the night before and was NOT in the mood for that. Was that the most adult thing to write? Probably not. But it kinda made me feel better, especially when my friend started chiming in with their own boss drama.

My dear sister in law took it upon herself to copy and paste my status into an email and sent it along to my father in law AND mother in law. WTF??!! My mother in law has nothing to do with the company, despite what she may believe. If my father in law dies, she doesn't get the company, she gets a cash settlement. Anywhooo, so the drama began.

The Dude got attacked from all angles. His Dad, his Mom and his sister all called him and attempted to rip him a new one for my comments. He, of course, fired back at them and each call ended in hang ups. His Dad actually got over it really quickly when, I suspect, he realized what I had said was actually a valid complaint. He was dismissive and the dog DOES smell bad, which is why she's at the friggen vet all the time. Also, it's kinda like a family joke that we call her stupid. They call her "stupid Molly." Now here's the best part: My mother in law and sister in law were upset that I called the dog stinky. THAT is what they were pissed about!! Bahahahahahahahaha!! Seriously?! SIL was actually crying on the phone, upset that I would call "a member of the family stinky." My MIL said the same thing. The apple doesn't fall far from the crazy tree, my friends.

So, I did what anybody would do. I deleted my sister in law from my Facebook friends, my Myspace and blocked her. Problem solved. Now she's pee-pee hurt that we aren't "friends" anymore. What a twit.

Yummy and Easy appetizer

2009-06-29T13:42:00.005-05:00

BBQ season is in full swing right now. Y'all U.S.of A'ers know all too well that this weekend will be chock-full ~~o'nuts~~ of BBQs. I always like to bring something along ~~so I don't feel guilty about eating my body weight in the host's food~~ because it's nice. What I don't enjoy is messing up my kitchen before heading out. I don't want to come home all partied out and have a mess to clean up!
I just love easy appetizery things. This fits that bill. The "major" pre-work (I say major, but really, it's nothing big) can be done a day or two, or three in advance. The whole thing comes together quite quickly and lemmie tell ya, it gets a great reaction! I brought these babies to a get together Saturday night and got a positive reaction from all of the ladies present. It's normal for chicks to say something is good, but what I didn't expect was how my friend's hubby went on and on about them! He was even telling other guys how good they were!

Caramelized Onion and Cream Cheese Crostini

1 French baguette, sliced 1/4 - 1/2 inch thick slices (you can cheat here and buy pre-toasted, ready to go crostini)

1 container flavored Philadelphia cream cheese spread (I used spinach & artichoke, but they have several different ones to choose from)

2 large onions, sliced (I totally cheated here. My local stores sell pre-chopped onions and I used a 15oz container...NO TEARS!!!! Woo-hoo!)

In a medium to large saute pan, heat up several Tablespoons of butter or oil (I prefer the flavor of the butter) and toss in your onions.

Not done yet

Cook those bad boys down until they're a nice caramel color do you say it CARE-A-MELL or CAR-MULL?? I used to say the latter, but The Dude has broken my spirit and changed me to the former.

To reach this stage took between ten and fifteen minutes.

While those are cooking down, start slicing up your baguette (or if you're a cheater, just twiddle your thumbs). I put mind on a baking sheet and baked them at 350 degrees for ten minutes...ya just want them crunchy.

**Special Note** Be on the lookout for small children stealing baguettes and taking bites out of them!

Thankfully this was my "extra" loaf.

After those cool a bit, spread some of your desired cream cheese on the baguette slices then top with a bit of onions. I probably used less than 1 tsp of either per crostini.

The bread can be toasted in advance and the onions can be caramelized in advance. Easy does it. A few minutes before just plate those bad boys up and you're good to go. Done and donner.

Seriously, these are super yummy and easy to do. Do it. Do it. Do it!

****D'oh!!! Almost forgot to give credit where credit is due!! My lovely sister made these for us when she visited recently. So yeah, hearts to you for this recipe!

IT'S ALIVE!!!!!

2009-06-24T13:35:00.002-05:00

Yes friends, I am alright. I had a trip to Houston for my Dad's suprise 60th birthday party suprise...see...that's why I couldn't tell y'all I was leaving! Then I had my Mamma, two sisters, a niece and nephew and a few visiting friends staying with us for a while. Yes, we were busy busy! I am back now. Allow me to catch up a bit and I'll be back to my old posting self.

I leave you with our company's new commercial. Now, this is for local tv, nothing fancy. The Dude, Pickles and I are all in it. Enjoy.

Wordless Wednesday

2009-06-10T11:27:00.004-05:00

Pickles, unsupervised for the 1.875 minutes it took me to throw the laundry in the washing machine. Somehow managed to find the powdered sugar...nice
ME, just realizing this is technically not wordless. Crap. I never followed directions well.

Kharma, or my 9mm will get you.

2009-06-08T14:33:00.005-05:00

I had a plan all laid out for lunchtime. I had planned on quickly eating and then starting dinner I know, I was so organized and everything! I was planning on making a marinara sauce using ingredients I had grown myself. Yeah, yeah, I gardened a bit this year. This was my first foray into the world of green-thumedness. I have been moderately successful. Anyshway, I had tomatoes, basil and parsley that I planned to pick and use.

I flitted out the back doors, across the deck and down to the back where I keep my little plants. WHAT THE HELL?! Someone stole my tomatoes. Who does that? Seriously! I had several ripe tomatoes that I had scouted out yesterday evening and they were gone! Oh, of course they left the unripe ones, probably so they can come back to steal them next week! Its not even like I live on a busy, highly traveled street either. In fact, where my tomato plants are is towards the end of a very short dead end street. Directly across from my plants is a very nosey neighbor, so I'm hoping she saw the culprit. Dude! I'm super pissed.

Soooo, I had to make due with some canned tomatoes. Not that I wasn't going to supplement my tomatoes with the canned stuff, but still! UGH!

I actually tried REALLY REALLY hard this year to grow stuff. Growing things is generally not what I do best, but this year was different!

I have mint and basil and tomatoes, and flowers, and pumpkins (I wasn't getting any closer than this folks. Please, I was in heels) and lettuce and beautifully blooming Crape Myrtles and I even sprouted two avocado pits, so I have avocado plants growing too!

Watch your back, tomato thief. I'll get you when you least expect it!!!

Oh life, how ironic you are.

2009-06-01T14:39:00.004-05:00

Today is the first day of hurricane season.

*Not actual path of Gustav, the middle finger is off just a smidge*

I just got a text message from The Dude, "Work is complete!" Yes friends, we have finally completed all of the repairs for the damage our home sustained during Hurricane Gustav, JUST in time for the new hurricane season.

Alright Mother Nature. Bring it biotch. We've cut down all big trees, replaced the roof and numerous ceilings/flooring/home furnishings. I dare you.

Picture me in a 3-point stance, in the middle of the street, ready to take on another hurricane, head on. Then picture me running like a little girl for cover when the winds pick up.

Nothin' but love for all of the other coastal states but, dudes, y'all take this year, mm-kay?!

P.S. At some point I will get around to posting some before and after pictures. But you know, I'll have to clean my house first so you could tell which were the before and which were the after. Patience my friends, patience.

Keeping you abreast of my medical situations

2009-05-28T13:29:00.002-05:00

I finally convinced myself that I needed to go to the doctor you know, for the SARS. I called to make my appointment and the receptionist informs me that my regular doc is all booked up. Ooooo-kay, so I offer up my second choice doc. I've seen him before, no biggie aside from the fact that I know some very sordid details of his affair with a few nurses...small town folks. "Um, nope, he's booked too. Dr. Just-graduated has an opening in an hour," chirped the receptionist. "Fine, whatever," was my response. I honestly did not care at this point.

I packed up my book, ensured my iPhone was fully charged and set out for the doctor's office. I was counting on being there AT LEAST 2 1/2 hrs, based on past experiences with this office. They have, and I'm not exaggerating here, 3 different waiting rooms. If you need x-rays or blood work, you get another waiting room on top of that.

I went to sign in on the little clipboard (do you have those at your doctor's office? They have like two or three clipboards with the doctor's names on top? You're supposed to sign in on the corresponding clipboard) and I did not see the name the lady had given me over the phone. "Um, excuse me, where is Dr. Just-graduated's clipboard?"

"Ya know, we haven't added him yet. Just sign in anywhere." So I did and sat down in waiting room #1. I didn't even have a chance to pull out my book before I could feel the beginnings of an asthma attack. GREAT. I debated whether or not to run outside so as not to hack up a lung on the 5 other people in the waiting room. As the uncontrollable coughing and wheezing started to intensify, a nurse popped her head out of the door and beckoned to me. The look on my face was one of "Who, me?!"

She proceeded to weigh me and take my blood pressure as I gasped for air. What a twit. So now I'm struggling for air, depressed about the number on the scale , and the damn pressure cuff is about to cut my arm off.

"Oh my, your blood pressure is HIGH!" Gee, ya think genius?!

I expected to go to waiting room #2, but much to my surprise I was placed in the closest exam room! Sweet! I'll be outta here in no time!!

I was only about 2 pages in to the next chapter of my book when the door swung open. In swooped this tall, but very young looking, kinda handsome, doctor. I almost asked to see his ID. Dude couldn't have been much older than me, IF that. Man. Even more depressed. He introduces himself and starts the usual, "So what can I do for you today?" I explained about how my asthma was flaring up and the chest cold, blah, blah, blah. He slaps on his stethoscope and presses it to my back, "Deep breaths."

So you know the drill with that one right? They listen in several places on the back then several on the front? Yeah well, not so much. He auscultated my back (that's fancy medical speak for listening), came around for the front, reached out, apparently got really scared, and rushed out of the office. Yes, I have big boobs. YES, I was wearing a clingy sweater. But come on! He's a friggen doctor! Someone watch too many special movies while in his hotel room? He finally came back in and checked my throat.

His only words to me from that point on were "Wow, that's some yucky stuff you have dripping down your throat." Thanks for that lovely little observation. He scribbled on a piece of paper and extended his arm WAAAAY far away from himself with the prescription. It was like I had the plague, or SARS, or worse yet, BOOOBS.

He hurried out the door and as I reached for the door to leave, it opened, he tossed in an inhaler and was gone like a flash. Weird. SERIOUS CLARK?! "Christmas Vacation" reference. That guy had better get over his boobie fear otherwise his name will never make it on the clipboards.

Epidemics R Us

2009-05-26T10:32:00.003-05:00

Swine flu is SOOO last month. I think I am single-handedly bringing back the SARS epidemic. Remember that one? When was that, 2003? So yeah, bringin' that back.

Hey look! This Newsweek cover looks a lot like my picture from the Swine Flu mask post!!

I probably, technically, don't have SARS, but dang! I do recall an instance back in 2003 (The Dude was in Iraq) when I was taken via ambulance to the hospital due to a bad asthma attack. The SARS epidemic was in full swing. I was asked SEVERAL times if I had recently traveled to China. Yes, the ER staff thought I had SARS!! Anyway, yeah, feel and sound the same as I did back then. It was so bad they nearly brought The Dude home from Iraq, but I insisted he stay. I realize that comes off as sounding exceedingly strange, but I knew he was torn between coming home to be with me or staying with his guys. I was fine, really, so there was no need for him to go through the guilt/crap of leaving his unit out there.

I was planning on making a doctor's appointment for myself first thing when I got into work....I was too slow to the draw. BOTH of my bosses had already made themselves appointments for this morning, so I will have to wait till tomorrow.

Say friends, who noticed my fancy-shmancy new header?! Heck yeah man! April, over at April Showers did the custom illustration and header for me. Pretty sweet, no?! I'm loving how the cartoon image of me is thin. That is the best weight loss program I have ever used!! Stick around, my blog will soon have other cosmetic procedures done in the near-ish future.

I love the smell of beer in the morning

2009-05-23T07:44:00.003-05:00

First question: Why was Mamma Ducky up at 6 am on a Saturday?
Second question: Why did Mamma Ducky crack open a beer at 6:15am?
Answer to question 2, see question 1.
I'm kidding, of course.
I needed to open the beer and let it set so it could warm up.
The other day The Dude's Dad wanted one of his Mamma's old recipes so The Dude's Aunt, Fifi, dug out the extremely tattered and worn recipe book. My eyes lit up like a 50 million candle watt light (I know what that looks like cuz we totally own one....or two). I had never heard mention of such a book but was super eager to get my hands on it. They did try to keep it from me, not sure why, but I won that battle.
The first recipe in the book was for modifying boxed biscuit mix. Didn't sound too exciting, but I copied it anyway.
This morning I woke up at 6-friggen-A-M for some unknown reason. As I sat in The Dude's big comfy chair wondering what I was to do in a completely silent house this early, the biscuit recipe popped to mind.
I went to the extra fridge and pulled out a cold one and ~~considered downing it~~ popped it open. Poured it into the measuring cup and turned on the oven.

The results were friggen astounding!! Those were the tastiest, most tender biscuits I have ever eaten. No. Seriously. Would I lie to you? Don't answer that.

Here's what ya need:

2 1/4 cups of your preferred biscuit mix

6 oz room temp beer

1 1/2 T sugar, dissolved into beer

As I said, set the beer out while the oven preheats (preheat your oven to 450 degrees), dissolve the sugar into it. Mix the beer into the mix. If it's too sticky, add a bit more mix. Dump it out onto a flat surface for kneading and knead it a few times. Roll the dough to about 1/2 inch thickness and cut out biscuits. Lay on baking sheet, close enough that the edges touch each other. Bake for 7-10 minutes. Done and doner!

Woot! Woot!!

2009-05-22T08:51:00.002-05:00

Holla!!! Guess what?! I'm the guest blogger over at my girl, The Rambler's place today!!! How excited and honored am I? I'll tell ya how much...A LOT!! If you've never checked out her blog, My Rambling Thoughts, please take a second to do so. Thursdays are always fun days because she has her "Think About It Thursdays" with fun, thought provoking questions.

She is the only person I know that LEAVES paradise to go on vacation! I know, right?!

So now, my little "I'm Famous" thing over there ---->

is true, cuz who doesn't read Rambler's blog?! You are now in the presence of greatness, he he he. My modesty astounds you, no??

If all of that hasn't enticed you to visit her blog how about the knowledge that my post is a recipe for a Banana Split Pie. NUM-YUMMY!

**Please note, my ego will return to its normal size tomorrow**

Seriously, though, why are you still here?! Hurry now, over to Rambler's blog!!!

I've learned a new language

2009-05-21T10:46:00.003-05:00

Ok, so it probably doesn't qualify as an actual language. More like words and phrases I've picked up since moving here. In all honesty, I still have a difficult time understanding what some people say around here. People from "down da bayou," well, you can just forget about it. Smile and nod is about all I can muster. I always think back to that scene in "Finding Nemo" where Squirt is trying to instruct Marlin on having a safe jump.

Yeah, yeah. Like that, only not as cute.

So, allow me to teach you some common terms used down here in South Louisiana let's all say a prayer that I'm not thrown out of the state for teasing.

Aw, sha/Aw, che/Aw, cher (sha is pronounced with a short "a" sound): this is a term of endearment. Usually used when something is cute or precious. I'm guessing it comes from the French phrase Mon Cherie which means my darling. When one looks at a new baby or someone's baby pictures you'll often here that simple comment: "Aw, sha." Some people go further with "Sha bebe" or "Sha tu-tu" "Sha tatootsie." I don't know what any of those extras mean or if they're just added gibberish. My guess is the latter.

Lagniappe (lann-yap): it actually refers to a small gift or gratuity added by a merchant when someone makes a purchase. Kinda like a 13th donut when ordering a dozen. Around here it just refers to "something extra." Example: "Ya got a little lagniappe there on ya face" used when someone has a crumb or smudge on their face. OR "I put a little lagniappe in the card for ya" when a little something extra, like money, was place in a card.

Making groceries: grocery shopping. "Hey, I'm goin' make groceries. Ya need anything?" No, I'm not kidding.

Saving groceries: putting your groceries away. "Gotta get home and save ma groceries." Again, I'm not kidding here people!!

Hose pipe: hose, of the garden variety. Why add the extra word? I dunno, but people around here look at me funny when I just say hose.

School Bag: The Dude seriously didn't know what I was talking about when I asked where his backpack was.

Frissons (free-zons): chills/shivers. "Wooo! Dat gave me da frissons!"

Envie (Ohn-vee): a craving. "Man, I gots me an envie for some crawfish!" not me though, gross.

Boucherie (BOO sher ee): basically a pig roast

Parish: county. yeah, we don't have counties around here. Weird, I know.

"Are you getting down?": Are you getting out of the car?

Boude (boo-day): to pout, or be angry. "He bouded all day long because he couldn't go fishing."

Boo: honey, sweetheart. "Hey Boo, what's for supper?"

Coulon (coo-yon): stupid or foolish person. "Look at dat coulon over dere."

Make do-do: to take a nap. "Come on y'all. Time to go make do-do."

My-nez: this is actually just how they pronounce the word mayonnaise. First time I heard it, I just had a blank stare and leaned over to ask The Dude what the hell his Dad was asking me from me.

Rodee(row-day): to go for a ride, run the roads. "I'mma go rodee, wanna come?"

T: Little. T is placed in front of any name to signify a son/junior. "Aw, look at little T-Nick." No kidding, some people are listed in the phone book as T-so-and-so.

Seriously, this is just the tip of the iceberg. There are so many more that I simply cannot spell or have no earthly idea what they mean. My apologizes to my cajun readers, but you must realize some of the terminology is hilarious, right?

Ok, so you're all set for a visit to Louisiana. Come on down and set a spell.

Mornings just ain't my thang.

2009-05-19T10:04:00.003-05:00

This morning as I was dropping my little people off at the sitter's house is the term "little people" politically correct? Do I give a crap? she notes that Twin B has two left shoes on. "Hey, do you have an extra pair of shoes in the car? She's got two left shoes." I thought about my response for a second. I am not actually what we would call a morning person shocking, I know. I looked up at her, smiled my ~~bitch I'll cut you~~ sweetest smile and said, "She'll live. Let her go barefoot. Maybe tomorrow she'll pay better attention when grabbing her shoes." Apparently that was the "bad Mommy" answer.

Seriously though? She's 3 1/2. She knows how to put on her own shoes. She does it all the time. Why was she wearing two left shoes today? Because she was goofing off when everyone else was getting ready. As I stood by the door yelling that I was leaving she simply rushed to the shoe basket and grabbed what was on top. My fault? I think not. Yes, yes, yes. I'm the adult. I'm the parent. I'm supposed to make sure they're completely dressed and ready. Blah-blah-blah. Here's the deal though, I do that. But I'm not gonna chase down a 3 1/2 yr old at 7:30 in the morning when I'm already running late. She's old enough to do that little bit herself. PICKLES can put his own shoes on and be ready to go, why can't she?!

Wooooooooooo-saaaaaaaaaaaaaaw!!

Which reminds me. What reminds her? What the heck is she babbling about?? The woo-saaw, deep breathing...follow? Ok, yeah, so, last night I did a little yoga-esque deep breathing and stretching with the kids before bed. They L-O-V-E-D it. Totally calmed them down too. The girls went to bed without a peep! I think I'm on to something here folks. I'll be completely honest and say that Pickles was a tad more interested in tackling the cat, but still!

I consider myself the champion.

2009-05-18T10:58:00.004-05:00

The showdown with the Pecan Street Preschool Mafia was sort of a disappointment. There were no cat fights, no hair pulling, not even a dirty look! What the hell people?! I mean seriously! I had prepped for the fight to end all fights. I kept my flip flops (despite several of you suggesting I go with spike heels, he he he) and simply instructed The Dude to make sure and wear his steel toe boots. I figured, if need be, I could slip into those bad boys and inflict massive damage. All for nothing.
I got ONE half smile from the Alpha Mom and that was it! She avoided me like I had ~~the plague~~ swine flu. Had she found my blog? Did she know I intended to throw down? Was she scared??!! That's what I'll tell myself, and my grandchildren in 30 yrs. I'll tell 'em that Granny looked into the eyes of perfectly manicured evil and won.

Too much?? Hush, it's my story.

We enjoyed a lovely little picnic with the Twinkies. I tried to snap a picture of them together, both smiling. I did manage to get Alpha Mom in one of the shots.

Twin A, stop drinking! I'm trying to take a picture! Twin B, what's with the "deer caught in headlights" look?

Ah, yes, finally, a half-ish, kinda weird smile from Twin A. WAIT! Twin B got bored and looked away! Crap. I give up.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This weekend I managed to get TWO sprained ankles. The twins weren't even home all weekend (brace yourself, The Dude's parents took them to their beach house. I know, right?)! How does that happen?? I'll tell you how. One sleepy, kinda sick Mommy wearing her fashionable "new Mu-Mu" trying to navigate the stairs at 3am to fetch one sick little Pickles, THAT'S how.

My Apologies

2009-05-15T09:10:00.003-05:00

I know I promised an update on my showdown at the preschool, but it will have to wait. I had a death in the family and I just don't feel too funny or bloggy at the moment. Hearts to all. Hug the ones you love.

Rest In Peace Aunt Joan

End Game

2009-05-14T09:45:00.003-05:00

Today. 10:30am, central time. The Preschool Mafia and I battle it out one last time until next school year at the end of the year picnic.
I spent an entire 22 minutes getting ready this morning, versus the regular 3 minutes. I am wearing flip-flops, ya know, in case I need to kick off my shoes for a serious throwdown!! I'm even bringing The Dude for backup, as I know the Alpha Mommy ~~demands~~ invites her husband to these kinds of functions.
Who will emerge victorious? Who will crawl away with their tail tucked between their legs *note* I do not have an actual tail. Tune in later for all the details. Same bat channel, same bat time...errr, something like that.

Dear Cell Phone Mommy

2009-05-13T11:13:00.004-05:00

Dearest Minivan driving, cell phone gabbing, line holding up preschool Mom,

Thank you SOOOOO much for holding up the pick-up line. I just know that phone call you were on was super-duper important, I could tell by the obnoxious cackle coming from your minivan and the way you slapped your leg. I realize paying attention to the rules of the road and life in general is simply too much for you. Don't mind the blaring horns or the teachers waving at you like mad women. I know, they do look silly waving their arms about! The nerve of some people, scolding you for continuing to yap on your phone as you barrel towards innocent preschoolers.

Don't you worry too much, the school year is almost up. By the way, if I see you again, I'm going to cut you with a shank made mostly of sporks, Popsicle sticks and cheerios. Yeah, I know how to get the most use out of that craft cubby in the classroom.

Your Friend,

Margarita Mayhem

2009-05-08T13:25:00.006-05:00

Friends, this is a very sad day in MammaDucky-land. I threw away cookies. Not just like one cookie, like a lot. They were crap and not worth the calories. I had high hopes for these cookies. The very sound of their name sent me over the moon umm, helloooo?! Margarita and Sangria cookies?!?!?!?
My friend was looking for something cool and different to bring to this big annual ~~Cinco~~ Nuevo de Mayo party. She came across this recipe for these cookies with actual alcohol in them SCORE! We were both super stoked and ready for action. She bought all of the ingredients despite my protests of "but I have everything you could possibly need." Oh how I was wrong. She showed up with two different kinds of Jell-O, sea salt, and all sorts of things. Hmmmm.

At this point I'm thinking that I probably should have looked over the recipe, but we'll just go with the flow (and drink plenty of wine).

Or whatever else the recipe called for and was alcoholic.

The first night, we just mixed up the dough (yes it took us multiple nights. Dough used for cut-outs should sit in the fridge overnight, silly-heads). The margarita dough tasted super yummy, the sangria one, eh. I wrapped 'em up and popped them in the fridge.

We damn near polished off the bottle of wine. We stopped when we realized we would need more wine for the glaze...ooops.

Night two: rolled out the dough, cut the margarita glass shaped cookies and a few lime slice shaped ones (gotta be authentic people!). The Dude even helped with this part. The two of them got all into it. They started twisting the stems of the glasses and getting crazy. There were like a brazillion cookies. Seriously, like a lot.

As they cooled I glanced over the recipe for the glaze. This is the part that required Jell-O. It didn't make sense in my head and my baking senses started to tingle, wait, Jell-O never dries and it's very sticky, yet I kept right on following the recipe.

In addition to the Jell-O, it had triple sec and wine (or tequila, respectively). So after we got done glazing the cookies, we did little Jell-O shots...mistake. We barely got them down. Blegh! Moving right along. It had gotten very late at this point of course, we did stop to watch Grey's Anatomy.

My friend suggested I whip up the frosting while she finished glazing. Deal. Another "hmmmmm" moment. This recipe is for a powdered sugar glaze, more or less, not a recipe to be used to do decorative frosting. Yet, I followed the directions to the letter. STUPID! We were left with exceedingly runny, albeit tasty, alcoholic icing/glaze. We tried to pipe it onto the cookie anyway, much to our amusement.

Eeeep! It looks like there was some sort of bloody battle!

Oh yeah, forgot to add that the recipe called for the "glasses" to be rimmed *giggle* with a sugar/salt mixture. Pretty much the icing and the sugar/salt mixture dissolved into the cookie.

Needless to say, the Jell-O covered cookies were soft and VERY sticky. If I were to make these again which I won't there would be a mountain of changes I would make to this recipe.

I had a little prayer service over the trash can as I tossed these in. *sniffly, sniff* Always sad to see a cookie in the can.

P.S. My friend thought they were great and packed them up and took her half to her party. I suggested serving strong margaritas before serving our cookie versions.

This is why you're fat.

2009-05-06T15:15:00.003-05:00

This site made me nauseous. Then it made me hungry. Then it made me wonder, "Why didn't I think of that?!" Common! Deep fried cupcakes?! Sweet heart-attack-heaven!

I love fair season!

2009-05-05T14:42:00.005-05:00

This past weekend was our town's annual Fireman's Fair. The proceeds go to our volunteer fire department. There is tons of food, rides, and great music. It all culminates Sunday with a big parade and auction.

Pickles planting a wet one on Aunt Ali

The Dude is a member of the volunteer fire department so I didn't see much of him the whole weekend. The grand Marshall this year was my girl "Aunt Ali" 's Daddy! Yay! It is a HUGE deal! She, along with her brother and Mother got to ride on an antique fire truck in the parade, while her Daddy rode a horse. Pickles and I were allowed into the grand Marshall's viewing stand at the parade route which was super cool. All the fire company's stop in front of the viewing stand and do a little salute or skit and all the bands do a special song in front of the stands.

Pickles with Aunt Ali watching a band do a presentation for the Grand Marshall

The girls rode on a float in the parade. Unfortunately, they started to fall asleep near the end of the parade so The Dude carried them the rest of the way.

Woke up in time to wave to Mamma

So what's the big deal?

2009-05-04T15:23:00.004-05:00

Scones. Why does that word strike fear into the heart of bakers? I had always shied away from making scones because I'd heard they were so difficult to make. Umm, what?

My Shasty pointed me to a little blog with two teenage sisters would enjoyed baking. I honestly don't remember the blog which was aggrivating because I wanted to use their recipe and I couldn't remember the name of their blog! When we chat we shoot each other different blog links non-stop. Anyway, I thought, geez, if these teenagers can do it, so can I. I sought out a basic cream scone recipe. Looked at several different and settled on a fairly bland sounding one so I could jazz it up some.

I had worked at a bakery in my late teens/early 20s and remember the scone being wildly popular with my early Saturday morning crew of upper-crust customers. We had lots of varieties from pecan to currant to blueberry. Everyone had a side of clotted cream with their scone. I don't own any clotted cream, nor did I see any at the store. What I did have was cream cheese, so I worked with what I had.
In my freezer I had a bag of frozen blueberries, so obviously my scones would have those in them. I also had 3 lovely lemons. Hmmmm, lemon and blueberry go nicely.

Sunny Blueberry Scones

2 C flour

1/4 C sugar

2 tsp. baking powder

1/4 tsp salt

1/3 C unsalted butter

1 tsp lemon extract

1/2 C whipping cream

1 large egg, beaten

zest of two lemons

Filling:

1 Cup frozen blueberries (or fresh, dur)

1 pkg cream cheese, softened

2 T granulated sugar

zest of one lemon

1 T lemon juice

Cream together filling ingredients, except for blueberries, set aside.

Sift the dry ingredients together in a large bowl. Cut in butter. Your dough should resemble a coarse meal at this point. Combine wet ingredients (I just kinda stirred them all together in my big measuring cup, so as not to dirty another dish) and add to dry mixture. Knead it all together till it forms up in a ball. Knead a few more times. Divide dough in half. On a parchment or silpat lined baking sheet, form one of the balls into a circle, about 1/2 inch thick. Place the second ball on a sheet of waxed paper and press into a slightly larger (and will obviously be thinner) circle.

Spread filling onto first circle. Sprinkle blueberries on the cream cheese mixture. Lay the larger circle on top, and peel off the waxed paper. Press around the edges to seal. Cut the filled scone circle into how ever many pieces you want to have I think I did 12. Brush with extra cream and sprinkle with sugar. Bake at 425 for 15-20 minutes.

Man were these delightful with a cup of coffee on the deck the other morning. I took half of my scones a few blocks over to my friend at work. I think they enjoyed them too. They didn't last too long anyway!

*I had no pictures of the process because I didn't know that I'd like these so well! Sorry!*

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

P.S. It rained today....a lot. I actually saw a tornado forming in the sky. Scared the bejeebers out of me. We had at least 3 areas of "intense cloud rotation" over our area today. They all lined right up and passed over us. It was fun there for a while.

Here are my official rain totals for my house:

Middle of yard: water to tops of my feet

Back of property: ankle deep water. This area is a common place for my children to strip down nekkid and splash in any accumulated water.

Should I sent these official totals in to the weather channel?

My Inappropriateness Knows No Bounds.

2009-04-30T13:21:00.005-05:00

Note to self: make your face presentable before taking pictures you intend to post on the Internet.

Yesterday my friend and I discussed whether or not it was a good idea for her to attend Jazz Fest in New Orleans, in light of the looming pandemic. I jokingly said I would bedazzle her a mask to wear.

We all know how my sick little mind works. On my lunch I decided to whip up a few jazzed up masks. I could not actually lay my hands on a bedazzler, but I did have plenty of glitter and puff paint!

Louisiana people will buy ANYTHING with a fleur de lis on it...don't lie. You know it's true.

One final word before I go, dear readers. If you concerned about the flu and wish to wear a mask, this kind really isn't gonna do much for you. They become saturated within a few hours, not to mention your eyes are still exposed (mucous membranes anyone??). Ewwww, I said mucous.

I heart this blog!

2009-04-29T12:11:00.004-05:00

I am super excited!!! I just finalized my order for some fancy-shmancy decals for my Kitchenaide mixer!!!! The lovely Rebecca from Roots and Wings Co , makes and sells them on her Etsy shop along with some other cool items! Haven't visited Root and Wings yet? You absolutely should. It's two crafty sisters and their crafty sister in law and they have TONS of great ideas and recipes! I love, love, love their blog.

Wanna see what she designed for me? Of course you do.

Eeep! How precious are those birdies?!

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, but M.D. (MammaDucky, tee-hee), your mixer hasn't worked since September 2008! You mention that fact a lot! In fact, you mentioned it here and here for starters. Yes, astute readers, my mixer IS still broken. I'm hoping that if I look pathetic enough holding my decals up next to my brokey mixer that The Dude will run right out and buy me a new one! Smart, no?

I'll be checking YouTube regularly...

2009-04-28T14:32:00.005-05:00

My baby is fine. Well, I mean, his lip is stitched up again. They did 10 stitches AND Dermabond. Good luck getting that out. Hmmm, maybe I shouldn't taunt him.

When the doc called us back to explain how things went, he pulled out his camera. I thought, dude, this is totally an inappropriate time to show us your fishing trip pictures. He quickly scrolled to the section with Pickles. That is when the only tear I cried during this experience fell. Seeing my only my baby's tiny mouth exposed beneath a sea of blue surgical drapes was hard. I know this sounds super lame because there are numerous children with far more serious injuries and health issues, but it was my kid, so indulge me.

Anyway, back to the pictures. He was trying to show before and after pictures. When he scrolled to what he THOUGHT would be the "after" picture, a series of goofy pics featuring the nurses and my child. They are pretty lucky I'm not uptight and have a sense of humor. They put some headbands on him and snapped some pics. One nurse was spiking up his hair. They said he growled a lot as they were giving him the good drugs. I wonder if there is video of him floating around in cyberspace??

The nurses all cooed over him and went on and on about how precious he was. As they walked me to the back to see him, the nurse told me that he wouldn't open his eyes yet and wasn't quite waking up just yet. As soon as I bent over to kiss him and tell him Mamma was there, he growled. He peeped open his eyes a tad and growled at me! The next hour included lots of apple juice spilled on himself, lots more growling, and non-stop jabber about riding the elevator.

He ate two bowls of strawberry ice cream upon returning home and ate a healthy dinner. So, all is well.

P.S.

This is what my Pickles looked like after the first round of stitches. Not bad eh?

Too bad the urgent care doc left the suture thread so long that he was able to pull it out!

I hadn't noticed it till I looked at the pictures. The flash from my camera must have made it gleam because it wasn't noticeable in person.

Happy Monday, surgery at 3!

2009-04-27T13:32:00.003-05:00

Nice start to my week. Pickles will go into surgery in a couple of hours to repair a pretty gnarly bo-bo on his lip. Total accident. Got knocked over last night, smacked his face on the way down. We got him stitched up last night at urgent care but being the darling that he is, he pulled his stitches out. Back to the doctor we went, only to be sent for a consult with a surgeon. Two surgeons stared at him and chatted amongst themselves, coming back with a "this should have been referred to us last night. He needs surgery." Great.
So my dear friends, I'm about to wake my hungry baby poor guy is so thirsty and starving but can't have anything, for obvious reasons and tote him off for his plastic surgery. Yeah, my kid is having plastic surgery before age 2! I smell trouble in my future with this one...
Back with a real post later or tomorrow depending upon how good of drugs they give him, tee-hee.

P.S. Rambler, I got my very own boyphone!!!! Eeeeep! All I needed was an injured child and mother in law declared I needed a phone ASAP. Apparently, I needed an iPhone. Who knew?

"Real Moms don't make quiche"

2009-04-24T13:30:00.004-05:00

I beg to differ. I have gotten that email about what real Moms do and don't do. Near the end of the list is the part about real moms not baking quiche. I'm here to say UNTRUE!!!!

Quiche really are easy to do. You can throw just about anything in them and it will seem fancy. The mini quiche I made the other night were made out of the leftovers in my fridge. I had a red and an orange bell pepper that were just about at the end of their lifespan, basil from my garden!!! picture me doing the cabbage patch shouting "go me! go me!", some leftover bacon, and some ready-made pie crusts. I always have eggs and cheese on hand, so I figured that would suffice. I made mini quiche instead of one normal sized quiche because, let's face it, anything miniature or over sized is cute and fun except my over sized boo-tay.

Mamma Ducky's Mini Quiche

1 pkg. ready made pie crust (the kind that comes rolled up)

3 eggs

1 1/4 C heavy cream, half and half, or milk you decide, based on your desired waistline...I went middle of the road with half and half

1/2 C roasted red, yellow, or orange bell peppers (or any combination)finely chopped to roast a bell pepper, slice it in half, seed it, and brush it with olive oil all over. Place on foil lined broiler wrack and crank that broiler up. Broil until peppers appear slightly charred (mine took 5-9 mins.)

3 slices cooked bacon, chopped who has cooked bacon in their fridge? I do. Southerners tend to fry up bacon just to use the bacon grease in recipes and we're left with fully cooked bacon. Some of you may buy fully cooked bacon, there by having slightly cleaner arteries than myself because you did not use the bacon grease in some other recipe. Goody for you.

1/3 Cup frozen spinach, defrosted, squeezed see, I'm not totally without healthy thoughts.

2 leaves of fresh basil finely chopped

1 Cup shredded cheese of your choice (I used 2% cheddar cheese) feta, Monterrey jack or a smoked variety would be yummers too.

Why is there an unnecessary picture of shredded cheese? We all know what shredded cheese looks like after all. Because I heart cheese and it's my blog.

**most of this can be done ahead of time, like roasting and chopping the peppers, the bacon, shredding the cheese. If you have that all done ahead of time and ready to go, this comes together really quickly.

Remove the pie crust dough from the fridge and let it set out for 15 minutes or so (or put it in the microwave for 15 seconds on defrost setting). Unroll it on a ~~mostly~~ clean workspace. Now, I wanted REALLY mini quiche. Like tart tin size (for the little people, you know how it is). I scrounged the kitchen to find something that would work as a dough cutter. Now, if you're fancy-shmancy and have a round cookie cutter that is approximately 2 inches in diameter you're set. If you're like me, you'll take the cap off of the Flintstones vitamin bottle and use it.

I cut out 24 little circles, sprayed my tins with non-stick spray, then pressed the circles into the tins.

Next, beat your eggs and add the milk/cream/half & half. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Combine the roasted peppers, bacon, spinach and basil in a small bowl. Spoon slightly less than 1 tsp. of the mixture into each pastry-lined tine. Spoon appr. 1 T egg mixture into each tin. Sprinkle with cheese. Pop into a preheated 350 degree oven for about 20 minutes. Done and donerer. Serve warm or room temperature.

*NOTE* you can most certainly use muffin tins, you'll just need to use a bigger cookie cutter (or lid) and adjust the amounts put into each cup accordingly. If you're boring and just want a standard, pie sized quiche, put your dough in a pie plate and throw everything inside. You'll want to bake it until the center is no longer jiggly.

After the fact, I realized caramelized onions would have just made these little suckers to die for. As they stand they're pretty darn good, I just wouldn't jump in front of a train to save a tray of them.

The Dude strolled in the door as these were cooling on the counter. I told him to try one. ONE. He ate 13.

I survived

2009-04-23T10:06:00.004-05:00

I'm sure you were all just waiting on pins and needles to hear about sister in law's big wedding event. Well, I needed this long to process everything and recover from the stress I know you're thinking, wait this wasn't her wedding, why was she stressed...read on my friends, read on. I'm going to pepper this post with pictures from the rehearsal and getting ready.

As I'm frantically packing last Thursday afternoon I realize one set of sparkly, pink, flower girl shoes are M.I.A. CRAP MAN! I've had those bad boys sitting pretty in their boxes for over a month and NOW I can't find one pair?! We let the girls wear their shoes for Easter. After Mass I changed Twin B and immediately took her shoes off and carefully placed them back in their box. Mother in law changed Twin A. I knew that was going to be a problem. I later saw Twin A skipping about in her sparkly shoes. I told mother in law to please remove them and put them back where they belong...well yeah, no.

I was in full freak out mode while The Dude sat, playing on his iPhone really, I am SOOOO close to flushing that thing. He throws out the ever-so-helpful, "lemmie call my Mom and see what she says." The look on my face was one of touch that phone to call your Mom and I will gut you. I decided to write it off as a loss and made plans to head to Target when we got there. Crisis averted.

Twins were super stoked that they got to drink water out "fancy cups."

The rehearsal was fairly uneventful. There were older children doing things one should not do in a Cathedral so I thought my kids would be thought of as angels. WRONG. Father in law accused the twins of doing the bad things and threw us out of the Cathedral...nice.

Pickles danced till he dropped at the rehearsal dinner.

The Dude and sister in law

Me and my little Pickles

Day of the wedding, I got to Target and got everyone ready in time. Amazing, no? Pickles, apparently trying to order room serive...that kid is ALWAYS hungry.

Twin B was all smiles

The kids, extrememly bored in the bridal suite.

The kids and I rode in the limo with the bridal party and then waited in a tiny little room for 1 1/2 hrs....yeah fun. The girls did great. Got tons of laughs and smiles as they waved to everyone down the aisle.

We hopped a shuttle bus back to the hotel for the reception. It was like the ride of death. The driver was friggen nuts. My bag tipped over within the first minute of the trip, spilling the contents. Thought I picked everything up, but apparently not. My phone is missing. Oh, and the shuttle bus company's number has been disconnected since Sunday morning. CRAP!

At the reception, we garnered more than our fair share of attention. The Dude had worn his Dress Blues and looked AMAZING *swoon*. The downside to that part? Oh, the drunks. One poor sap walked up to The Dude and started flipping his medals with his fingers.

Dear God, he's going to kill him

The Dude snatched the guy's hand, "Don't touch those."
Drunk guy, "What are these?" His hand is now white as The Dude has cut off circulation to his hand with the grip of death. "You win these or are these just for show?"

Run for your life idiot! He's about to rip your arm off!!!!

"I earned these. Do not EVER disrespect this uniform again." He gave one last good squeeze before letting go. Drunk guy quickly changes gears and starts apologizing and praising The Dude. Wow, uncomfortable!!!

Not to be outdone for idiot of the night award, The Dude's uncle asks him why he wore his uniform, "Not like you're a Marine anymore or anything." Do you people have a death wish?!

The Dude, "I am still a Marine. Once a Marine, always a Marine."

Stupid Uncle, "No you're not. You haven't been in the military for a couple of years now."

The Dude, 'I will always be a Marine. Don't disrespect my uniform or my service again." he too had made flippant remarks about the medals. I love The Dude. He was so cool under that pressure. The Dude a few years ago, would have probably severely hurt those guys. Ah, to be older and wiser.

Other than those two incidences, things were good. I got a migraine and had to call it a night by 10:30pm. We literally had to drag the twins off the dance floor.

Unfortunately, I did not have the foresight to request pictures of The Dude, the kids and I all dressed up. People are slowly emailing me candid pics of us all dressed up. I think the bridal photographer got a few. I'll show 'em if and when we get them.

I need a drink after all of that!

The New Mu-Mu?

2009-04-22T10:27:00.005-05:00

Maxi dresses. They're all the rage. Everyone who's anyone has them that was said in my most snobbish valley-girl tone. I bought a pajama maxi dress this weekend. I LOVE it. I find myself slipping into that thing the instant I get home. The Dude likes it. Thinks I look cute in it. Then it dawned on me, this is a Mu-Mu for my era. Seriously, think about it.

House dresses/day dresses have been around F-O-R-E-V-E-R. I have evidence.

This is where I think it all started. These are "day dresses" from the 1810s. Kinda comfy looking, considering what was worn prior to this (think bustles and corsets). Dudes, I would totally wear that. These beauties could HIDE some flaws!

We're gonna jump forward a bit here for the next example. The "house dress" of the 1940s. Still elegant looking, but again, comfortable. This, ladies, is what we would wear to lounge about if we were stylin' ladies of the 1940s.Moving right along, a dress of the 1960s. Very mod. Very chic. The mu-mu shape is slowly developing.

Moving along. Rambler, help me out here. This is listed as "island wear." As in current island wear. I picked it cuz I remember seeing a lot of this kinda stuff in the 80s.

Now we come to the classic Mu-Mu. The Golden Girls variety. STYLIN!!

Finally, my friends, I present you with the current day "Maxi dress," which I've now come to realize is an updated Mu-Mu.

It is now acceptable and even fashionable to go out in a glorified nightgown. SWEET! Now, I must work on bringing back that "bed head" look for your hair. Remember that phase? That was my favorite hairstyle fad...right up their with the "Rachel."

Wow, really??

2009-04-20T10:23:00.002-05:00

So this little article was featured on Yahoo's news feed this morning. It's about how people making $250,000 (which is in that lovely little "wealthy" tax bracket Mr. Obama mentioned) don't feel wealthy. To quote Joey, from "Blossom," WHOA. Dudes, we (The Dude and I) make less than a quarter of that and we're far from struggling. We have very little credit card debt the little we have is ONLY because I had zero percent interest through November, so why not use other people's money for a while, a very reasonable car note (2005 Tahoe), big house with a yard with a mortgage under $1,000.00, we pay into a retirement, and that 6 month cushion financial experts have been harping on, saved up. We have nice things, but we don't try to "keep up with the Jonses."

Things didn't get this way by accident. I worked hard to get The Dude's credit rating sky high, so we could secure an awesome fixed rate mortgage (mine was already high from money discipline instilled early on thanks Mom!! ). I saved every penny The Dude made overseas so we could pay off the credit card debt he had wracked up when he was younger and when we were just starting out.

We bought a big house, but it was older (built in the 1940s) and needed some work. We bought that house in 2006, and is just about to where we want it!

We've had our fair share of setbacks. We were transitioning out of the military when I found out we were expecting twins! Twins!!! No insurance, living in an 850 sq. ft house. We survived though. We struggled, but made it. Then, a surprise pregnancy after the twins had just turned one. I distinctly remember saying "how will we afford this??" as The Dude handed me the positive pregnancy test. We made it. We survived. Late 2007, we discover our floors on the bottom level had rotted. I cried a lot about that one. I didn't know how we'd swing that payment. We made some cuts, here and there and did it. September 2008, hurricane Gustav causes more than $40,000.00 worth of damage to our home. More than 6 months later and we've got ONE MORE room (my master bath) to re-do. We're still alright.

I just don't get how people making SO MUCH money yes, it is a lot of money can't make it, or struggle. I know that people have lost jobs. I'm not talking about those people. I'm talking about people that simply over-extended themselves. People that bought houses that they knew they could not afford. People that bought stupid crap that they did not need just because it was there.

My kids don't go without. We don't wear tattered clothes. We don't overindulge. We take advantage of the free or cheap activities. Farmer's markets, parks, stuff like that. THAT is what we do for fun. My favorite thing to do is to head up to New Orleans for some begniets and cafe au laits and a stroll on the river front. Very inexpensive, but tons of fun. I meal plan and shop at Wal-Mart. We don't eat out a whole lot. We enjoy the little things in life.

I need to get off my lil soapbox don't I? I don't know, I just get worked up when I hear people complaining about situations they've gotten themselves into.

**disclaimer** This is generally speaking. There are lots of special circumstances, so please don't take offense...unless of course you're the type of people I'm talking about. In which case, take offense cuz you annoy me.

Crawpeesh Monica

2009-04-15T21:59:00.003-05:00

My girl, Aunt Ali as the kids call her, helps us out a lot. She will be enduring the wedding with us tomorrow. She's coming to help out with the kiddos. As a thank you I wanted to make her favorite dish.

She LOVES this dish. Orders it every time when she's out.

This also happens to be THE dish to eat at Jazz Fest. I've been told the lines for Crawfish Monica are always the longest at the festival.

I looked online to try and locate the original recipe. All I found was a lot of debate. So, I looked at several recipes, and came up with a version that I thought sounded good.

Now, I don't eat seafood so it was hard for me to prepare something that I wasn't going to taste at all. I relied on Aunt Ali and The Dude to do the tasting for me.

They were MUCH impressed.

I titled mine "Crawpeesh Monica" because that's how Pickles pronounces crawfish.

Crawpeesh Monica

1 lb crawfish tails (or 1 lb shrimp, 1 lb crab meat, 1 lb oysters)

4 T butter

1 pint half and half

1 bunch green onions, chopped (green parts only)

2 T Cajun seasoning (Tony Chachere's, Emeril's Bayou Blast, or othe similar blend)

1 T minced garlic

1/2 C Parmesan cheese

1/2 C finely chopped onion

1-2 T finely chopped sun dried tomatoes or 1/2 Cup diced Roma tomatoes.

Saute garlic and onions in butter until onions are translucent, about five minutes. Add half and half, tomatoes and seasoning. Bring to a simmer. Add cheese and crawfish. Allow to simmer 8 minutes, stirring constantly. Serve over fettuccine. Top with green onions.

I know it simply sounds like an Alfredo with crawfish, but they tell me it's SO different. The addition of the Cajun spices and sauteed onions apparently change it up. Hope you like it...even though I didn't touch the stuff!

I have clean laundry, and lots of it.

2009-04-15T08:44:00.005-05:00

Trumpets blaring. Red carpet rolls out. Lights dim as a figure enters, stage left.

Wait a second, my life isn't really a theatrical performance...it just feels that way. Forget all of that direction at the top. I'm here. It's been what, a week? That's like FOREVER in the blogosphere right? My little Pickles if finally better and I am mostly caught up on work. I am trying to catch up on all the blogs I missed during my little vacation that is, if you consider a vacation staying home from work with a hacking, crying, non-sleeping, non-eating, non-drinking child an actual vacation, then yes, I was on vacation. In all honesty I enjoyed spending cuddle time with my little guy. Before too long he won't be interested in cuddling Mommy anymore.

Not to disappoint, I have for you my post on homemade laundry soap! Man, I did some laundry while I was home. I used my homemade stuff the whole time and was deeply impressed.

The first true test was Pickle's brand new shirt that he had stained with a red Popsicle on the bright white collar. Since he was whiny and I was exhausted I had simply thrown it in the dirty clothes hamper and left it sit for a couple days, stain untreated. As I sorted the laundry and found it again, I thought, well this is gonna be playclothes aka not to be worn in public for sure. I rubbed a little of the homemade magic on the stain and threw it in with the load. One magical laundry cycle later and it was pristinely white again! I'm sold.

I had always heard about people making their own laundry "detergent." I was reading the Duggar's book (you know them, they have eleventy million children and have a show on TLC) and saw that she too made her own soap. I do my fair share of laundry so thought I'd save a few bucks by trying it too. Some people did like actual math and figured out the cost of this stuff per load and all that. Frankly, I'm not interested in doing math right this instant, so if you REALLY wanna know that info Google it.

What you'll need:

~Arm & Hammer Washing Soda (this is important as baking soda and washing soda are NOT the same thing. They are chemically different. While it is possible to convert baking soda to washing soda, it's silly to not just buy the correct stuff. (If you really want to convert baking soda to washing soda, email me and I'll give ya the low-down).

~Borax (Twenty Mule Team is the brand I used)~didn't even have to buy any. Had some left over from smothering the fleas in the carpet last summer yeah, THAT was fun

~Bar of soap. I used Fels Naptha laundry soap since it's intended purpose is stain removal, but from what I've read, any bar soap will do.

~Water

~Essential Oils (optional)

~5 gallon bucket

~Old laundry detergent containers or gallon milk jugs (washed out of course. Optional)

You'll need to either grate (like with a cheese grater) or shave (vegetable peeler) the soap down to small pieces. I used the veggie peeler and thought it worked wonderfully. Pull the soap pieces into a large pot, cover with water and boil until soap dissolves. Pour into 5 gallon bucket. Add 1 1/2 C each of the Borax and Washing Soda. Stir well. Add enough hot water to fill the 5 gallon bucket. I did this by putting the bucket in the bathtub and filling it with hot water there.Stir well. At this point you can add the essential oils if you like. I had my oil of choice all ready but actually liked the clean, fresh smell that this concoction already had.

Set your bucket in a safe place only important if you have curious small children and allow it to cool overnight. Now, when you check it out the next day it will appear VERY thick and you'll think that it will NEVER be pourable. Is pourable a word?? Stir, stir, stir people. It will thin out as you stir it. You absolutely can leave it in the big bucket if you want. I funneled it into an old detergent bottle with a spigot and into a clean milk jug. Both work well.

Use about 1/2 Cup per load. You can thank me now ;)

Poor Pickles

2009-04-09T13:15:00.003-05:00

Ok, so Pickles has Croup, on top of the Strep throat, on top of two new molars. Poor guy. I'm sure I only have seconds left before he wakes up, but I just wanted to say hello and I miss my bloggy friends! Hope to be back very soon!

Cupcakes with Chocolate Swiss Buttercream frosting!

2009-04-08T13:26:00.005-05:00

Pickles and I are home today. My little baby has Strep throat poor guy. So we decided to make some cupcakes while the laundry washed. I am ALL for saving time by using boxed cake mixes, but I'll ALWAYS make my own frosting!

I mixed up some French Vanilla cake batter, divided it into three bowls and dyed each bowl a different color (pink, blue, and yellow). I then spooned just under one Tablespoon of each color into the lined cupcake tins. It jazzed them up a bit.

The frosting is a buttercream, but not the standard American version, which I find too grainy and rich (I do use it on occasion though!). I made a Swiss buttercream which is made with egg whites to make a meringue.

First, I chopped up 3 oz of semi-sweet chocolate and melted it over a double boiler. Set it aside to cool. While I was doing that, the oven was preheating to 350 degrees. I spread some coconut on a rimmed baking sheet and toasted it for about 10 mins, stirring halfway through.
Place a bowl over simmering water. Add to it 3/4 Cup granulated sugar and 3 egg whites. Beat for about 3 minutes, or until the sugar dissolves. Remove from the simmering water and beat on high for 7-10 minutes, or until the mixture cools. Beat in 2 sticks plus 6 T of unsalted, room temp. butter. Beat in cooled chocolate.
We generously frosted the cupcakes cuz we're generous folks then topped with coconut.

Yummms.

I put a few on a plate one for each munchkin, then packed the rest up for The Dude to take back to work with him. Who's proud of me?! I didn't eat any!!!

Dang, of course, the one cupcake I cut into to show the three pretty colors is the ONE cupcake that only got two colors (ran out of yellow batter on the last cupcake)!

Peace out homies. I hope to post about my laundry detergent making tomorrow!! Stop giving the computer screen that look like, "OMG, that biotch is crazy! She MADE laundry detergent? Yeah I did, and it works hella good and is easy!

Because I'm the most AWESOMEST!

2009-04-06T20:31:00.003-05:00

I decided to give away TWO Easter S'mores in a jar thingys! Yay me! So, I popped on over to Random.org and it spit out 5 and 12. Those two lucky ladies are BlogBaby and B! Get me your mailing addresses ladies! Congratulations!!

Weddings bring out the best in people.

2009-04-06T10:32:00.003-05:00

My sister in law's wedding is drawing near. The stress is on. One groomsman broke his leg skiing...he's out. One bridesmaid doesn't fit into her dress, so they've essentially kicked her out. Yeah, nice eh?
Poor girl. I feel SOOO bad for her. I can tell she's worked hard to lose weight. She says she's lost about 25 lbs, desperately trying to fit into the dress. Alas, it just won't fit. In her defense, these weren't custom made dresses and this was NOT a dress that bigger girls could wear. I couldn't wear it due to the boobage factor. The dress my dear sister in law selected from J.Crew is made for petite, small busted girls. My sister in law is a small busted, petite girl. She simply didn't consider that one of her bridesmaids is bigger. J.Crew does offer a "special size" no joke, that's what it's labeled as, of a 16. No way in hell would that girl's boobs fit in a size 16...ever. Poor girl has even had a breast reduction already, but if she gains ANY weight, it goes straight to her boobs.
My mother in law and father in law had some interesting thoughts on the subject. It should be noted that they are both petite, thin people and always have been. My father in law said, "Well maybe if she didn't eat so much and actually tried, she wouldn't be so fat." I almost fell out of my damn chair. First of all, if I ate the way my inlaws ate, I would be 300lbs...easy. Secondly, he doesn't know this girl so how can he pass judgement on her lifestyle. When I protested that I thought her large bust was the main problem, my mother in law piped in with "Well she's already had a reduction and we bought the biggest size possible (the "special size" 16). I glanced her way and said, "Well ya know, J.Crew really isn't suited for those of us with bigger busts. Not that you would understand. I couldn't shop at J.Crew even if I wanted to. The clothes simply aren't cut for bodies like mine and M.'s." **special sidenote** my mother in law had that ever present, little, post childbirth pooch that she just couldn't get rid of. She got a tummy tuck last year. Hello pot. Meet kettle.
This didn't change their minds at all. They REALLY, TRULY blame this girl. I wanted to punch my mother in law in the boob for being so heartless.
It really burns me up when people who are skinny and always have been, pass judgement on those of us that battle the bulge. My inlaws gorged themselves on fatty, greasy foods, cheesecake and the empty calories of drink after alcoholic drink this weekend, while I ate as little fat as possible. I stayed away from the chips, mayo, cheesecake, dips, cheeses, and cheesecake, but I'm the fat kid in the group?! Urgh.
That little conversation also made me stop and think...what must they say about ME? I know they picture me like this

Heck, she bought me a Wii Fit to "help me lose some of that extra weight." How about you come hang out with your grandkids (who live less than a mile away) once in a while, so I can workout!

Once, when the twins were very young and we were over at the inlaws eating dinner, I quickly inhaled my dinner because I knew one or both would be up soon to eat. My mother in law touched me on the shoulder and said, "careful, you don't realize just how many calories you're eating when you eat like that." While that's true, it's also true that sometimes, as a Mom, if you don't eat quickly, you don't get to eat at all. Furthermore, you shouldn't comment on a new Mom's weight, unless you desire a punch to the guy.

Crock pots are my friend.

2009-04-03T21:11:00.002-05:00

Mmmmmmm, granola. I heart granola. What I don't heart is the price. Why is it that those tiny little boxes (notice they are the smallest cereal boxes) cost so much?

I've made my own granola in the oven before. I found that it didn't make enough.

Enter the crock pot. Crock pot??? Yup, crock pot. Who'd a thunk, eh? But oh yes, it's possible

The ingredients:

(Yuuuup. Same window that dinner fell out of the other night)

12 Cups oats

1 Cup wheat germ

1/2 C coconut

1 C honey or maple syrup

1 can apple juice concentrate (defrosted)

1/4 C cinnamon

1/4 C (each) of your favorite fruits or nuts (I used dried blueberries and almonds)

Combine all the dry ingredients in your crockpot (unless you have a teeny-tiny crockpot, it WILL all fit!). In a small bowl, whisk the concentrate and honey/maple syrup until it's fully combined. Pour over dry ingredients, toss well.

Cook on high for 1 hour, uncovered. Switch to low and cook an additional 4 hrs. Leave the lid off and stir it every 1/2 hr.

Next time, I'll probably add a teensy-weensy bit of brown sugar, but it was sure good!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Don't forget to enter the Easter S'mores in a jar giveaway (look at the top right---->)

Uncle! I give in...to a giveaway!

2009-04-02T08:58:00.005-05:00

Alright, since Shorty twisted my arm not really, but that would be really impressive seeing as how far apart we live, I'll be giving away my little Easter S'mores in a jar. Yes, yes, I dressed them up. They look prettier now, I just didn't take a picture.I'm not big on making people bend over backwards to enter my giveaway. In all honesty when people have rules that say things like "Comment here, follow me, bend over and touch your toes, hop on one foot, whistle Dixie backwards" all to get entries, it kinda turns me off. SOOOoooo, I'll make it easy on you. Just leave me a comment and that's it. If you wanna be cool and mention my giveaway, a great big THANKS to you. No extra entries, but I'll think you're cool, and isn't that all that's important????? Ok, probably not. Best of luck kids! I'll be closing this giveaway Monday night so I can pop it in the mail Tuesday morning. I know right? I just looked at the calendar too! Holy smokes, Easter is WHEN?!

READY???

SET.....

GO!

Peeps this, yo!

2009-03-31T21:26:00.002-05:00

You see what I did there, with the pun?! Ahahahaha! I crack myself up. Anyshway, as I was blog hopping the other day (similar to bar hopping, but not) I happened upon these. What are they you wonder? They're s'mores bars in a jar! Say THAT five times fast...no really, I'll wait.

What I did was put about 1 1/4 C of Easter M&Ms in the bottom of a quart sized mason jar. Then I smooshed 8 Peeps around the jar inside. Next, I annihilated one sleeve of graham crackers and mixed it up with 1/3C brown sugar which was fun until the graham cracker packaging busted and my bedroom floor was covered in a nice graham cracker dust. I put a sandwich sized Ziploc in the middle of the Peeps and scooped the graham mixture in. Be sure to press the graham mix down and work it into the bag, otherwise it will NEVER FIT!

Ok, so what I haven't done yet is print up the cutesy little recipe card that will accompany these little beauties. What the recipient will need to do is take out the bag of graham mixture and mix that up with 1/2 C melted butter and 1 tsp. vanilla. Press into 9" square pan. Pour M & Ms and lay Peeps on top, bake in 350 degree oven for 15 mins! YUMMY!

I do plan on fancying the jars up a bit with ribbon or fabric or something.

Somewhere inside of me, a screw ball redhead is trying to get out.

2009-03-31T13:36:00.005-05:00

Picture it, Sicily 1923... Ok, sorry. Just channeling Sophia from "The Golden Girls" for a second there. But seriously, picture it: me fixing dinner. The kids are in the living room playing, the windows are open, letting the gentle, clean breeze drift through the house. Uh-oh. The food is too hot for the kids. I don't want to put it in the fridge as I've got enough ~~crap~~ stuff in there already. Ah, the window sill over the sink. The cool breeze with gently cool their plates. CRAP!!! Gentle breeze became strong gust! Plates have fallen out of the window! I traipse outside to see if anything is salvageable...not so much. I look up to see our teenage neighbor and her boyfriend snickering. Oh well. Chicken nuggets and macky-cheese it is then.

Yeah, that TOTALLY happened last night. I had made the kids some yummy meals and they simply FELL OUT OF THE WINDOW. There was chicken stew with rice, grapefruit segments, green beans and nilla wafers all down the side of the house. It's of note that the kitchen window is near the road, and is also visable to a major street. Wonder how many people saw?

Go on, laugh. I would laugh too. This kind of thing doesn't happen to everyone folks, only me and Lucy Ricardo. I hope this somehow brightened your day!

How many different languages can I say this?

2009-03-30T13:29:00.004-05:00

I' 沒懷孕的m. Je ne suis pas enceinte. Ich bin nicht schwanger. Δεν είμαι έγκυος. Non sono incinto. Eu não estou grávido. Я не супорос. I AM NOT PREGNANT!! Cheese and rice, man. It's getting to the point of ridiculousness. Every time I mention I don't feel well, or I'm tired, or something like that, Fifi responds with a snide, "You're not pregnant are you?" I swear. It feels like I'm back at the Naval hospital. All you military gals/military dependants feel me on that one? ANY time you go in to the doc at a naval hospital they give you a pregnancy test. Apparently, if something is wrong with you and you're of child bearing age, you're either pregnant or you need a Motrin. Female with a broken leg? Hmmm, you must have broken that cuz you're pregnant. Let's order a pregnancy test, STAT! Male with a broken leg? Here, have a gigantic bottle of Motrin. You're all better now, so leave.

She just cannot understand that no, I am NOT PREGNANT. There is only like a .001% chance that I could even get preggers right now, so I'm gonna go with the NOT PREGNANT theory. It's slightly annoying. She can blab all day long about her gastrointestinal problems but the INSTANT I complain of anything she jumps on the pregnancy thing.

I think I need to start wearing this shirt to work

Sassy, no?

Maybe I'll just start doing the same to her, despite the fact that she's 62 yrs old and has had a hysterectomy.

Flashback Friday

2009-03-27T11:21:00.003-05:00

Can you spot this sassy blogger? Um yeah, that's me all the way to the left.
This was my, I dunno, 5th or 6th birthday? Probably 5th. I think we moved to California before I turned 6. Mom, are you reading this? Which birthday is this?
Rock on with your bad self lil Mamma Ducky! Also of note, my shirt has duckies on it!
Happy Friday peeps. Hope your weather is better than ours has been the last few nights (and will be again tonight).

Do I What?!

2009-03-26T11:02:00.006-05:00

Ok, so I just outed myself as that "behind the times chick who doesn't GET twitter." Seriously, I just DON'T get it. Do I really need to know what people are doing at any given minute? Better yet, do I want to know?

While watching Good Morning America the other day the anchors were tweeting WHILE they were on the air. Um, what was the point in that? I can totally see you on TV. You don't need to tweet me to tell you you're about to do the weather.

I dunno, man. Maybe I'm just scared that if I delve into the world of Twitter that I'll never dig myself out.

I do know the story how Twitter pretty much saved some guy after he was arrested in a foreign country. As he was being arrested he ~~twitted~~ ~~twatted~~ tweeted about it and his friends got in contact with the American Embassy yadda, yadda, yadda, Twitter saved the day. So on that note, Yay for Twitter!

But still I resist. I really don't expect to find myself in a situation where Twitter would save my life. But then again, there is a chance. Why risk it, eh?

So, who wants to school this chick on the magic of Twatting?! Oh Stephen Colbert, how you make me giggle.

Seriously folks, I'm absolutely clueless. I DO have a Twitter account. I got that far but then I got scared and ran away like a little schoolgirl. Teach me, oh wise readers.

You say cheapskate like it's a bad thing.

2009-03-25T11:05:00.003-05:00

I got a Williams and Sonoma catalog the other day. I love their stuff, but it's so friggen expensive! I spotted these CUTE cute cute carrot bags! Yeah, cute until I looked at the price tag. $24.50 for that! I said to myself, "Self, you can totally make those." So on my lunch break yesterday I hopped pun intended on over to Wally-World to check out their felt selection. Eh, not too great, but they did have orange and green. So last night I whipped up a little prototype. I say prototype cuz I hope-to-Bob that I can do better than this.
The top edges of the carrot are kind of a scalloped stitch. Not really happy with how that turned out, so I'll try another.
Notice I didn't even bother to trim the excess thread? Yeah, I was tired, lol.

For the name, I used fabric marker (the kind that you can wash off) to mark it, then took some embroidery floss and stitched over it real quick like.

I'm not completely satisfied, but plan to get this little project looking perfecto! I'll post the how to's once I've got it just how I want it.

I figured that I could make one of these for each of the girl's classmates for less than $4.00. Yeah, totally beats $24.50!

This is me whining....again.

2009-03-24T16:32:00.004-05:00

I have nothing cute or sarcastic to say. I'm kind of in a downer mood. The Dude is in Houston on a last minute business trip. The kids are upset because they don't remember him coming in and kissing them before he left. I ~~feel~~ am fat.

I don't say that looking for someone to say, "no you're not!" thanks anyway Dude . I have mirrors folks. I can see it. I also have a scale that tells me I'm losing this battle despite my efforts. I really am making an effort! I've cut my portions in half (at least). I only drink the occasional Coke (for you non-southerners, that is any carbonated beverage). I'm moving more, hell, my 30 minute break at work is now occupied by the treadmill or exercise bike. Yet still, I gain.

Something is amiss. I'm extremely tired despite the fact that I'm getting more sleep these days. My muscles ache all the time. Every morning I feel like I've been hit by a bus. My joints ache too, which is odd and new.

This is just depressing. My sister in law's wedding is in a few weeks and I DO NOT want to be in any of the family pictures looking this way.
I have a family party to attend this summer. I'm looking forward to it, but then again, not so much. I was always the chunky one in my family, but this will be the very first time that I am actually ashamed to show my family what I have let myself become.

Meh. I'm whining. Sorry this is such a downer post. You know what would cheer me up and always does? Baking. But that would only make my waistline grow even more.

Blah.

Memories on a Monday

2009-03-23T13:55:00.004-05:00

Memories, light the corner of my mind.

Misty water-colored memories...

Did I go too far, with the Babs lyrics? Sorry. Couldn't help myself.

This past weekend we took the kids down to the island and stayed at the inlaw's beach house. Beautiful weather. The bluebonnets were in bloom and their sweet smell filled the air.

I remembered, as a child, pulling over on the interstate once to snap some pictures of all us kids in the blooming bluebonnets. Being in a nostalgic mood, I insisted The Dude help me wrangle the kids over to a patch of the bright blue flowers. Pickles grabbed a bunch of the flowers and repeatedly insisted I "(s)Mell! (s)Mell!"

It really was a beautiful weekend.

Is It Monday?

2009-03-20T13:55:00.003-05:00

It sure feels like a Monday. Perhaps I fell into some cosmic wormhole and skipped right to Monday?? Hmm, worth investigating.

For whatever reason, I slept like crap last night. Poor lil Pickles is still fighting some bottom molars, so he didn't sleep that great either. When I woke up, my whole body ached. Body...boday....booody...what's up with that? It just doesn't look right. Let me spell check right quick here. Interesting. Spell check didn't have a problem with any of my spellings of "body." Weird.

Wait, where am I? Where was this blog going? Oh yes, yes. Today isn't really Friday, it's Monday. Got it. Back on track here. So, crappy sleep, achy body. On top of those two things, my house cleaning gnome TOTALLY bailed on me last night. I woke up to a dirty house! The nerve of that little guy! I'm writing him a strongly worded letter. Can gnomes read?

Ugh, so I had to do the dishes, laundry, and pick up before work. The twins, of course, were in great moods. By great, I mean their heads didn't do complete 360s and they didn't spit split pea soup at me. They did, however, hide my hairbrush and sunglasses from me. I bet I look awesome driving down the road. Hair like a crazy person and all squinty-eyed from the lack of sunglasses.

The cherry on top of my morning was that my Tahoe wouldn't start. Damn. Called the dealership and they can squeeze me in...on Wednesday. Happy Friday kids!