Yeeeee-haw!!!!

My inner Texan emerged this weekend. I was a grillin' machine. The weather was friggen awesome so we took advantage and spent the weekend outside playing and cooking.





Now, my Dad would probably have a heart attack if he knew I "smoked" a brisket on a gas grill *gasp!* But that's all I have so I made the most of it. I'll give you my instructions for doing a brisket on a gas grill, followed by my Dad's own humorous rendition of smoking a brisket authentically. BONUS: you'll be gifted with my Dad's recipe for BBQ sauce. The best sauce you'll ever taste. Waaay different and better than any of that store bought crap.





Gas grill smoked brisket


~A brisket (dur!) my Dad says to never attempt anything smaller than a 10lb-er. So in addition to cooking my brisket on a grill, I also used a 4 lb-er.


~1-3 Cups BBQ sauce (recipe to follow)


~Adolph's meat tenderizer (or similar brand using papain)


~lots of heavy duty foil


~aromatic wood chips (mesquite, hickory, pecan, you get the jist)

Pat your brisket dry. Trim off any weird hangy fat, but for the most part you want to leave it all on there. Hey, nobody said this was diet brisket! Turn brisket fat side up, score lines 1/2 " to 3/4" apart through the fat, down to the meat. Here's my own little tip ** score the lines against the grain, as this is how you'll want to cut it once cooked. Sometimes it's hard to tell which way the grain runs after all is said and done. Generously rub BBQ sauce all over that puppy, both sides. Place in large baking dish/roaster/disposable foil pan. Cover in plastic wrap and put in fridge to marinate overnight.

In the morning, wipe off the excess sauce and keep for later marinating. Sprinkle meat with tenderizer and poke the sun of a gun all over with a fork. Now we cook.

You need at least a dual burner gas grill for this. Light the left side ONLY. We want a medium lowish setting (180-225 degrees is optimum). You have a couple of options for the wood chips. Make a packet out of aluminum foil and puncture it with a fork, or pour some wood chips into disposable aluminum foil pan. Place your chips on the left side (over flames). Wait until they start to smoke. Place your brisket on the right side. Options: use heavy duty foil on grill or place your brisket in disposable aluminum foil pan.
**That's not my grill, my picture just didn't show exactly what I wanted it to**

Close the lid! No peeking! Find something to do for 2 hrs.

I worked on my chip shot for a while...(note to The Dude: you probably thought getting me interested in golf was "cool." Mistake. I am now bound and determined to whoop your booty all over the golf course, ~Hearts!!)

then, when the kids woke up from nap, I rolled on the floor and the 2 hrs passed quite quickly!

Open lid, slather that baby with some sauce. Close lid again. Check it about every 45mins, slathering it down each time. At around the three hour mark, you may need to change your wood chips.

For a small-ish sized brisket, you're looking at 6+ hrs of smoking. The time may go up to 20hrs for a biggin'. You want it to be fork tender.

Once removed from the grill, leave it be for about 45mins. Don't skip this step. The juices need to redistribute.

Serve with coleslaw, some mac-n-cheese, potato salad, beans white or corn bread slathered in some honey butter (add about 1 1/2 Tablespoons of honey to my butter recipe), and some tea. Mmmm, I'm drooling now.

You're in for a laugh now. My Dad's recipes are hilarious.

Universal Texas BBQ Sauce

How you REALLY smoke a brisket

Making butter!

Don't be intimidated by the thought. Put that image of me sitting out on the porch using a butter churn out of your head. No churn necessary. This took place in my kitchen while the kids ate breakfast. We start with a pint of organic heavy whipping cream.



Pour the cream into a bowl (use a standing mixer or if you're like me and no longer have a standing mixer due to a certain hurricane, use a regular bowl and a hand mixer) and get your mixer going. If you're using a standing mixer, you can do other things, this takes about 10 mins. If you're standing there watching in amazement, once you get to the whipped cream stage you start to wonder how this is gonna end up as butter. Fight the urge to stop and eat all the yummy whipped cream. Keep whipping.

I tell ya, it happens all of a sudden. Liquid ("buttermilk") starts flinging all over the place as butter clumps up. Pour the "buttermilk" off (reserve if you like) and beat a little longer, more buttermilk will seperate. Pour off. You want to remove as much "buttermilk" as possible to prevent your butter from going rancid. Pour some cold water into the bowl with your butter and knead out the "buttermilk." The water will cloud as the buttermilk is kneaded out. Rinse and repeat. At this point you're done. You have some lovely unsalted fresh butter.
But why stop there? Salted butter? Sure, add approximately 1/4 tsp. per 4oz of butter, beat or knead it in. Herbed or garlic butter? Add a clove of finely minced garlic and/or your favorite herbs. What about some cinnamon butter to go on those muffins you made for breakfast? Add cinnamon to taste.
Storage: if you have a french butter bell, use that. I don't have one, yet, lol. Because I'm not doing anything fancy with my butter this time, I just double wrapped it in pastic wrap and put it in the fridge. If you'll be using the butter for guests, put it in a piping bag with a star tip and pipe out individual amounts onto a parchment paper lined baking sheet. Pop that into the fridge or freezer to firm up, then seal in a container. Butter can be stored in the fridge or freezer.
Using one pint of cream, I ended up with 8oz of butter and 3/4 C "buttermilk."


Who here is wondering why I keep putting buttermilk in quotes? Well, take a swig. It will NOT taste like the buttermilk you buy at the store. Reason being, cream that is used to make butter in the traditional way is soured. As the cream sours, acids build up that aide in the churning process. The acids help the butter globules stick to one another. Since we're using electric mixers to churn for us, we don't need the aide of the acids.
What we're left with is more akin to whole milk. You can turn your "buttermilk" into a similar version of the cultured we buy in stores by adding a bit of lemon juice, although it still won't be quite the same. I, on the other hand, did what I felt my Mom would do: I drank it.