Monday, February 22, 2010

Crazed Mother, Aisle 10

I very nearly became that mother at Wally World yesterday.
Perhaps it was the fact that I was at Wally World and not other places that I would much rather shop.

Perhaps it was that there were none of those fabulous carts that can seat 3 children (yes, I know the cart says not to put a third child in the upper seat but I do anyway).

Perhaps it was the fact that the beautiful weekend (sunny and warm!!) had turned ugly (cloudy and rainy).

Whatever it was, it wasn't pretty.

For any of you who are thinking, "Oh I don't lose my temper with my children and they never misbehave," take your Stepford Wives self somewhere else cuz this isn't gonna tickle your fancy.

In hindsight, I probably should have turned around and left when I could not locate any of the previously mentioned required tools (read: 3-seater shopping cart). But I didn't, I pressed on. I told them to jump on, garbage truck style. Everything was grand until about 15 minutes in. Then Twin B decided it was time to unleash her inner Bad Seed. She the leader of my little pack. She is strong willed and mischievous. She loves to convince her siblings to do things she knows they shouldn't do, to kinda test the waters. She's not a bad kid, she just has that little devilsh side.

Within 5 minutes it was utter chaos. The bad behavior started in the dairy section (Wally Worlds are all pretty much the same, set up wise, so I'm giving you a visual). I flew through the aisles, making it to bananas (of which there were NONE...great). I missed lots of things I needed whilst trying to hurry. I had to run back a few aisles a few times to get some things. Anyway, back to the banana section. Pickles freaks out at the lack of bananas yes, my 2 1/2 year old knows where the bananas should be. Twin B decides now would be a good time to run away and bring her brother with her. I see her whisper something to him and off he goes.

"I'll get him," she chirps and off she goes before I can tell her otherwise.

It's at this point that I see our sitter. GREAT, just who I wanted to see, NOT. It's a whole other post, but I am actively searching for new childcare.

Twin A is just standing there smiling, holding onto the cart like she's supposed to. What am I supposed to do?? Run with her and the cart or just leave her, and the cart and run after the other yahoos? I tell her to stay up and I run (I kept her in eyesight and the sitter was right there too). Pickles had turned back and ran smack into me. I swoop him up and keep running. Twin B rounds the corner and locks eyes with me. She gets what I like to call, The Look of Death. I grab her hand and squeeze it tightly. She tries to break free, but I am not letting go! EVERYONE is looking at us. I'm fairly certain one woman took out her cell in order to call 911 in the even I lost it. We make it back to the cart and I strap her in the only seat available.

It looks ridiculous with a 4 year old (albeit a small one) strapped up in the baby seating, but it was necessary. She wails all the way to the check out like and till we make it to the car.

I can almost understand why you see those Moms who lose it on their kids at the Wally World...ALMOST


StepherB said...

That is quite an accomplishment! Even without kids with me, I still want to lose it just having to deal with the people AT Walmart! :)

lagirl/Sweet Tea said...

Forget the Olympics, you deserve a GOLD MEDAL!

Housewife Bliss said...

you are so funny, so glad you stopped by so I could find you. I nearly lost it in the florist on Monday - the only thing that stopped me from going over the edge was the 'old lady' in the shop that looked like she was about to put us all on the naughty step. So glad your SNG week is going well....we had such a fab time, and I feel so much better for it. Drop me a line when you do the post so I can make sure to see it. are you on twitter? housewifebliss -- let me add you to the SNG club. My novel is over. big breath.

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Always Home and Uncool said...


MammaDucky said...

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The Rambler said...

God Bless you. Cause this is why I never took my kid to the store the first two years. Yes. It's true. I was scared.