I have clean laundry, and lots of it.

Trumpets blaring. Red carpet rolls out. Lights dim as a figure enters, stage left.

Wait a second, my life isn't really a theatrical performance...it just feels that way. Forget all of that direction at the top. I'm here. It's been what, a week? That's like FOREVER in the blogosphere right? My little Pickles if finally better and I am mostly caught up on work. I am trying to catch up on all the blogs I missed during my little vacation that is, if you consider a vacation staying home from work with a hacking, crying, non-sleeping, non-eating, non-drinking child an actual vacation, then yes, I was on vacation. In all honesty I enjoyed spending cuddle time with my little guy. Before too long he won't be interested in cuddling Mommy anymore.

Not to disappoint, I have for you my post on homemade laundry soap! Man, I did some laundry while I was home. I used my homemade stuff the whole time and was deeply impressed.

The first true test was Pickle's brand new shirt that he had stained with a red Popsicle on the bright white collar. Since he was whiny and I was exhausted I had simply thrown it in the dirty clothes hamper and left it sit for a couple days, stain untreated. As I sorted the laundry and found it again, I thought, well this is gonna be playclothes aka not to be worn in public for sure. I rubbed a little of the homemade magic on the stain and threw it in with the load. One magical laundry cycle later and it was pristinely white again! I'm sold.

I had always heard about people making their own laundry "detergent." I was reading the Duggar's book (you know them, they have eleventy million children and have a show on TLC) and saw that she too made her own soap. I do my fair share of laundry so thought I'd save a few bucks by trying it too. Some people did like actual math and figured out the cost of this stuff per load and all that. Frankly, I'm not interested in doing math right this instant, so if you REALLY wanna know that info Google it.

What you'll need:

~Arm & Hammer Washing Soda (this is important as baking soda and washing soda are NOT the same thing. They are chemically different. While it is possible to convert baking soda to washing soda, it's silly to not just buy the correct stuff. (If you really want to convert baking soda to washing soda, email me and I'll give ya the low-down).

~Borax (Twenty Mule Team is the brand I used)~didn't even have to buy any. Had some left over from smothering the fleas in the carpet last summer yeah, THAT was fun

~Bar of soap. I used Fels Naptha laundry soap since it's intended purpose is stain removal, but from what I've read, any bar soap will do.

~Water

~Essential Oils (optional)

~5 gallon bucket

~Old laundry detergent containers or gallon milk jugs (washed out of course. Optional)

You'll need to either grate (like with a cheese grater) or shave (vegetable peeler) the soap down to small pieces. I used the veggie peeler and thought it worked wonderfully. Pull the soap pieces into a large pot, cover with water and boil until soap dissolves. Pour into 5 gallon bucket. Add 1 1/2 C each of the Borax and Washing Soda. Stir well. Add enough hot water to fill the 5 gallon bucket. I did this by putting the bucket in the bathtub and filling it with hot water there.Stir well. At this point you can add the essential oils if you like. I had my oil of choice all ready but actually liked the clean, fresh smell that this concoction already had.

Set your bucket in a safe place only important if you have curious small children and allow it to cool overnight. Now, when you check it out the next day it will appear VERY thick and you'll think that it will NEVER be pourable. Is pourable a word?? Stir, stir, stir people. It will thin out as you stir it. You absolutely can leave it in the big bucket if you want. I funneled it into an old detergent bottle with a spigot and into a clean milk jug. Both work well.

Use about 1/2 Cup per load. You can thank me now ;)

Poor Pickles

Ok, so Pickles has Croup, on top of the Strep throat, on top of two new molars. Poor guy. I'm sure I only have seconds left before he wakes up, but I just wanted to say hello and I miss my bloggy friends! Hope to be back very soon!

Cupcakes with Chocolate Swiss Buttercream frosting!

Pickles and I are home today. My little baby has Strep throat poor guy. So we decided to make some cupcakes while the laundry washed. I am ALL for saving time by using boxed cake mixes, but I'll ALWAYS make my own frosting!

I mixed up some French Vanilla cake batter, divided it into three bowls and dyed each bowl a different color (pink, blue, and yellow). I then spooned just under one Tablespoon of each color into the lined cupcake tins. It jazzed them up a bit.

The frosting is a buttercream, but not the standard American version, which I find too grainy and rich (I do use it on occasion though!). I made a Swiss buttercream which is made with egg whites to make a meringue.

First, I chopped up 3 oz of semi-sweet chocolate and melted it over a double boiler. Set it aside to cool. While I was doing that, the oven was preheating to 350 degrees. I spread some coconut on a rimmed baking sheet and toasted it for about 10 mins, stirring halfway through.
Place a bowl over simmering water. Add to it 3/4 Cup granulated sugar and 3 egg whites. Beat for about 3 minutes, or until the sugar dissolves. Remove from the simmering water and beat on high for 7-10 minutes, or until the mixture cools. Beat in 2 sticks plus 6 T of unsalted, room temp. butter. Beat in cooled chocolate.
We generously frosted the cupcakes cuz we're generous folks then topped with coconut.

Yummms.

I put a few on a plate one for each munchkin, then packed the rest up for The Dude to take back to work with him. Who's proud of me?! I didn't eat any!!!

Dang, of course, the one cupcake I cut into to show the three pretty colors is the ONE cupcake that only got two colors (ran out of yellow batter on the last cupcake)!

Peace out homies. I hope to post about my laundry detergent making tomorrow!! Stop giving the computer screen that look like, "OMG, that biotch is crazy! She MADE laundry detergent? Yeah I did, and it works hella good and is easy!

Because I'm the most AWESOMEST!

I decided to give away TWO Easter S'mores in a jar thingys! Yay me! So, I popped on over to Random.org and it spit out 5 and 12. Those two lucky ladies are BlogBaby and B! Get me your mailing addresses ladies! Congratulations!!

Weddings bring out the best in people.

My sister in law's wedding is drawing near. The stress is on. One groomsman broke his leg skiing...he's out. One bridesmaid doesn't fit into her dress, so they've essentially kicked her out. Yeah, nice eh?
Poor girl. I feel SOOO bad for her. I can tell she's worked hard to lose weight. She says she's lost about 25 lbs, desperately trying to fit into the dress. Alas, it just won't fit. In her defense, these weren't custom made dresses and this was NOT a dress that bigger girls could wear. I couldn't wear it due to the boobage factor. The dress my dear sister in law selected from J.Crew is made for petite, small busted girls. My sister in law is a small busted, petite girl. She simply didn't consider that one of her bridesmaids is bigger. J.Crew does offer a "special size" no joke, that's what it's labeled as, of a 16. No way in hell would that girl's boobs fit in a size 16...ever. Poor girl has even had a breast reduction already, but if she gains ANY weight, it goes straight to her boobs.
My mother in law and father in law had some interesting thoughts on the subject. It should be noted that they are both petite, thin people and always have been. My father in law said, "Well maybe if she didn't eat so much and actually tried, she wouldn't be so fat." I almost fell out of my damn chair. First of all, if I ate the way my inlaws ate, I would be 300lbs...easy. Secondly, he doesn't know this girl so how can he pass judgement on her lifestyle. When I protested that I thought her large bust was the main problem, my mother in law piped in with "Well she's already had a reduction and we bought the biggest size possible (the "special size" 16). I glanced her way and said, "Well ya know, J.Crew really isn't suited for those of us with bigger busts. Not that you would understand. I couldn't shop at J.Crew even if I wanted to. The clothes simply aren't cut for bodies like mine and M.'s." **special sidenote** my mother in law had that ever present, little, post childbirth pooch that she just couldn't get rid of. She got a tummy tuck last year. Hello pot. Meet kettle.
This didn't change their minds at all. They REALLY, TRULY blame this girl. I wanted to punch my mother in law in the boob for being so heartless.
It really burns me up when people who are skinny and always have been, pass judgement on those of us that battle the bulge. My inlaws gorged themselves on fatty, greasy foods, cheesecake and the empty calories of drink after alcoholic drink this weekend, while I ate as little fat as possible. I stayed away from the chips, mayo, cheesecake, dips, cheeses, and cheesecake, but I'm the fat kid in the group?! Urgh.
That little conversation also made me stop and think...what must they say about ME? I know they picture me like this

Heck, she bought me a Wii Fit to "help me lose some of that extra weight." How about you come hang out with your grandkids (who live less than a mile away) once in a while, so I can workout!

Once, when the twins were very young and we were over at the inlaws eating dinner, I quickly inhaled my dinner because I knew one or both would be up soon to eat. My mother in law touched me on the shoulder and said, "careful, you don't realize just how many calories you're eating when you eat like that." While that's true, it's also true that sometimes, as a Mom, if you don't eat quickly, you don't get to eat at all. Furthermore, you shouldn't comment on a new Mom's weight, unless you desire a punch to the guy.

Crock pots are my friend.

Mmmmmmm, granola. I heart granola. What I don't heart is the price. Why is it that those tiny little boxes (notice they are the smallest cereal boxes) cost so much?

I've made my own granola in the oven before. I found that it didn't make enough.

Enter the crock pot. Crock pot??? Yup, crock pot. Who'd a thunk, eh? But oh yes, it's possible

The ingredients:

(Yuuuup. Same window that dinner fell out of the other night)

12 Cups oats

1 Cup wheat germ

1/2 C coconut

1 C honey or maple syrup

1 can apple juice concentrate (defrosted)

1/4 C cinnamon

1/4 C (each) of your favorite fruits or nuts (I used dried blueberries and almonds)

Combine all the dry ingredients in your crockpot (unless you have a teeny-tiny crockpot, it WILL all fit!). In a small bowl, whisk the concentrate and honey/maple syrup until it's fully combined. Pour over dry ingredients, toss well.

Cook on high for 1 hour, uncovered. Switch to low and cook an additional 4 hrs. Leave the lid off and stir it every 1/2 hr.

Next time, I'll probably add a teensy-weensy bit of brown sugar, but it was sure good!

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Don't forget to enter the Easter S'mores in a jar giveaway (look at the top right---->)

Uncle! I give in...to a giveaway!

Alright, since Shorty twisted my arm not really, but that would be really impressive seeing as how far apart we live, I'll be giving away my little Easter S'mores in a jar. Yes, yes, I dressed them up. They look prettier now, I just didn't take a picture.I'm not big on making people bend over backwards to enter my giveaway. In all honesty when people have rules that say things like "Comment here, follow me, bend over and touch your toes, hop on one foot, whistle Dixie backwards" all to get entries, it kinda turns me off. SOOOoooo, I'll make it easy on you. Just leave me a comment and that's it. If you wanna be cool and mention my giveaway, a great big THANKS to you. No extra entries, but I'll think you're cool, and isn't that all that's important????? Ok, probably not. Best of luck kids! I'll be closing this giveaway Monday night so I can pop it in the mail Tuesday morning. I know right? I just looked at the calendar too! Holy smokes, Easter is WHEN?!

READY???

SET.....

GO!