The Silver Lining

Last weekend, I had to gleefully attended my sister in law's bridal shower. It was supposed to be a "floating" shower I know, I didn't know what the hell it meant either. According to my understanding of this type of shower, one was free to drop in, or "float" in I guess, at one's discretion, drop off the gift and float on out. I dragged went with The Dude's aunt (Fifi). We floated on in, about a half an hour after the shower was to begin. Mmm-kay. UNCOMFORTABLE. We walk in and realize we're horribly under dressed. We thought "church clothes" would suffice...apparently not. See, The Dude's sister and all of her friends have these delusions that they are akin to Carrie Bradshaw and the other gals from "Sex in the City." They dress in fancy, fashionable clothing, sport pearls, and ridiculously high heels. All of these girls are young and newly out of college. Their tiny apartments are decorated like they're the queens of Sheba. Some are still living on Mommy and Daddy's dollar. In fact, the shower was held at the Maid of Honor's Mom's house. Where was I going with this? Oh yes.

The only redeeming part of this event was the unbelievable strong Mimosas. Well, that and the super-fab pasta dish that was served. I poked around the food table and was truly unimpressed, until I spotted IT. I knew each of the bridesmaids had each brought a dish. A quick scan of the girls and I KNEW which one had brought the only good tasting dish. Amongst the waifish dolls stood one slightly plump girl. BINGO! I sweetly asked who had made the pasta dish and she shyly raised her hand. Ha! I knew it! 'Atta girl! Mmmmm, chicken pesto pasta dish, you were divine. I had two platefuls, washed down with, the tiniest, slice of fresh fruit Doberge cake (never let the skinny girl cut the cake slices...geez).

I knew I'd have to replicate it, and the flavors weren't that hard to figure out. Just to be sure, I asked the girl what was in it, and floated on outta there. It should be noted that no one else was doing any floating on out. Everyone just sat there, doing nothing...very odd.

Here it is folks:

The ingredients (not pictured is the pepper, which is simply to taste).

1lb Penne pasta, cooked and drained

1 Cup mayonnaise

1 Cup(ish) basil pesto *I was lucky enough to get that big jar of pesto from my friend! Thanks! P.S. I have your helping of the pasta dish in my fridge, so stop on by)

1Cup dried cranberries

1 Cup pecans (goody for you if you noticed I have walnuts in the pic. I was out of pecans)

3/4 minced celery

cooked chicken breast, chopped or shredded. Add as much or as little as you want.
In a good sized bowl, mix the mayo and pesto.

Add the cranberries, celery, nuts and chicken. Toss with pasta. Chill until serving.

A couple of tidbits of info. regarding this here post:

A.) I had to dig through this mess, sometimes called my purse,

to locate the thumb drive containing my memory card for the camera in order to shoot these pics. There was a lot of cursing involved.

2.) While I had no pecans with which to make this dish, I did have an unusually high stash of walnuts.

Go ahead, count 'em. Four, FOUR bags of walnuts! Why, I ask you, why?! I'm no big walnut fan, in fact, I don't even recognize the walnut bag on the far left. I have never seen that bag before. Weird. I must have little gnomes that stock my cupboards with walnuts in the night. Hey, at least it's better than the ones that refill mayonnaise jars (eeewww! Yeah, I TOTALLY just went there!).

Handbasket to Hell, party of one!

I try to steer clear of the whole idea that there is a "good" twin and a "bad twin." I used to chastise people who asked me which of my innocent darlings was the bad one. I'm starting to rethink my standpoint. Not that I would ever, ever admit this to anyone aside from you people and if you try to pin this on me I'll deny, deny, deny! , and I'll probably be sent straight to hell for thinking this, but seriously. After this morning's tirade, I seriously considered changing Twin B's character name on this blog to Rhoda.

Common people: Rhoda Penmark...the ORIGINAL bad seed! I totally own a copy of "The Bad Seed" and watch it a lot.

Perhaps I'm being a little harsh. She's not really that bad. She's just the difficult chi....holy moses! It just occurred to me why she is that way! She's (technically speaking) the middle child! Ding! Ding! Ding! Bells and whistles!! Hmmm. Not that this makes dealing with her during her meltdowns ANY easier, whatevs.

Just this morning we were having the shoe struggle...yet again. Twin A and even Pickles (well he tried) put on their shoes and socks and were ready. Little Rhoda Twin B ignored me, trotted upstairs and refused to come down. The Dude finally carried her down where she still refused shoes. After loading everyone up I came back for her. I find her standing there with her arms crossed with that "I'm not going to do a single thing you say" look on her face. Don't lie, you know you know that face!

After hysterics THE WHOLE WAY (2 blocks) to the sitter I ask her what the deal was. "You didn't let me brush my teeth." SERIOUSLY?! She's won again, dammit.

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Our office is being audited next week. F-U-N! So in preparation, we I was getting all the necessary files ready. Fifi "tries to help" by pulling on some files above my head. Two problems here: I am taller than her so why is she doing this and she's pulling on the bottom folder which is under eleventy-million other folders. I look up just in time to see file folders crashing down. PAPER CUT TO THE NOSE! Who gets a paper cut to the nose? I do, that's who.

Ok, ok, so it doesn't look bad in this picture. Camera phone picture, what can I say. Maybe I'm just whining.

They Hate Me

The computer gods that is. I FINALLY got my work PC back up and running AND the Internet connection repaired. That being said, my Internet is working at about the speed of dial up.
Uh. Remember those days, pre-high speed Internet? How did we live?! I know, right?
Last night The Dude and I were watching the boob-tube (holla atcha Popscicle!), when a commercial came on advertising satellite Internet. I've heard tales of areas of the country that only have access to dial up to this day. Could that actually be true though? I thought it only tales told to frighten children and gamers. Apparently not. The commercial was specifically directed at people still using dial up.
Those poor people! Can you imagine waiting for your daily dose of YouTube videos to load? I mean my gosh! Can you imagine trying to surf through your favorite blogs at dial up speed? I shed a tear for those dial up folks. Poor souls. I had a nightmare about it, and this morning, my nightmare came true, sort of. All I know is that this crap better be fixed BEFORE the big SITS Spring Fling.
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Now, on to more important business. My best girl, whom you know as My Shasty (aka Sassy Pants Wifey) has gone and created something wonderful. She's always trying to find ways to help people out. She has started a new blog called Care Across the Cities and I am so honored that she has asked me to be a contributor. The main point here is to help people! We all read blogs where the author seems to be a bit down. Maybe they got some bad news, stress at work, something. We want to cheer them up! We want to create a network of people willing to send cards, love, prayers, good vibes, comment love...ya feelin' me? We'll see where this all leads, but perhaps one day it will be more.
There will also be little suggestions on how to do more for your fellow man/woman. This country (and others for you bloggers from far away) could use a little more love and encouragement.
Spread the love people. Pay it forward.

Friday Foto

Peeps this, yo. I'm totally cheating today and just throwin' up some old pictures or "fotos" if you will. Major work PC drama don't tell my bosses, but I think we lost our complete customer database.

Anyshway, these pics were taken in December of 2007 as a gift for The Dude. I have a link to the photographer's blog and website over on the sidebar somewhere. ->

These are my absolute, all-time favorite pictures of my little people.

Please, DON'T help me.

Me no good mood today. I've been up since 5am, so that right there puts me off. I don't sleep much later than that, but still! I tried to fall back to sleep after Pickles woke up but The Dude was snoring so friggen loud I just couldn't. So I got up, ground the coffee beans, put the pot on to brew and hopped in the shower. Yay! A shower! I haven't had one of those in FOREVER!
I wake up the still snoring Dude, hand him his coffee and let him know the shower is all his. I head to the kitchen to finish any lingering dishes from the previous night, switch the clothes in the washer to the dryer, pull out the clothes from the dryer and fold those bad boys. It's about then that I hear the twins arguing (6:30ish). Twin B is demanding that Twin A get up and open the door for her. Twin B still hasn't mastered that little skill, so she's at the whim of her sister. Twin A refuses and there is a fierce fight going on. Finally, I hear the door swing open and Twin B appears...all smiles.
I meet their demands of milk, vitamins and a waffle and head back to the kitchen to fix The Dude a breakfast quesadilla. I barely get a thank you before he sits down and pulls out MY laptop. I'm not being a biotch here. It is my laptop. Our bosses bought it for me so I could work at home during my maternity leave with Pickles, and for those days that I'm without a sitter. Currently, my desktop at work is out of commission so the laptop is my only computer. I had it packed up and ready to go, then HE takes it out to play games.
"Please make sure that gets packed up before I'm ready to leave." I even said that nicely.
"It's only 7:30. Chill out," he groggily tells me.
I rolled my eyes because I can already see how this morning will play out.
By the time Pickles rolls out of bed I'm ready for everyone to be dressed and ready to head out. The Dude picks up Pickles and sets him on his lap. He offers to screw up the process help, by dressing Pickles himself. GREAT. This will slow me down by at least 10 minutes.
Twin A rocked this morning. She got herself dressed, socks, shoes and all, AND was ready to go without any complaints. Twin B would NOT get shoes on, no matter how much I begged.
As I ushered Pickles and Twin A to the car, The Dude breezes by me, muttering something about being late for work. I take a step back into the house to holler at Twin B when I see it. Surprise, surprise, my laptop is sitting on the table next to The Dude's chair. Of course he's long gone by this point so I have to get all the kids buckled in AND re-pack my laptop. Is he trying to make my mornings more difficult?! I swear!
After lots of tears over Twin B's missing blue cape we discover the cape was actually IN the car already. Geez.
I made it to work, only 9 minutes late today (new record). Oh, special treat, FIL's dogs are here this morning. Lovely. I just LOVE my office smelling like a combination of feet, Frito's, and vomit (one of the dogs has this allergy that makes her stink SOOOOO badly). Stellar day I tell you, stellar.

Least productive work week in Louisiana

I'm thinking the rest of this work week will be fairly non-productive here in Louisiana. Now that carnival season has come to a close, it's back to real life. Bahahahahaha! Crawfish season just started! People down here LOVE crawfish and having crawfish boils! Just another excuse to invite people over and drink beer. So, all being good Catholics, they'll abstain from meat on Fridays, instead opting for massive amounts of boiled seafood and beer. Not really a sacrifice as most of them would choose boiled seafood over meat most days.

Not me man. No seafood for this little chick. Ewww! I'll just munch on the other items thrown in the boil: potatoes, corn, mushrooms so spicy your lips burn, garlic, etc. Hmmm, not much of a meal there is it? Crap, I lose again.

Lemmie show ya some pics of our paradin'.

Does anyone else think my breastestes look stupidly big in this picture? I swear, looks bigger than Pickle's head! THIS is why I want a reduction people!Shortly after this picture was snapped, Twin B pulled back and declared, "Ok, that's enough. No more kisses or hugs." Ah, the love was short lived.

I know of two, yes TWO people that broke their jaw at parades. One poor little baby (2 yr old) fell out of the back of a pickup that he was watching the parade from. No, the truck wasn't moving. He's already had surgery to insert a metal plate in his jaw as it was broken in 3 places. Poor kid. Another lady knew someone on a float and caught their attention. It's common practice to "bomb" any parade watchers you're friends with. This entails throwing ridiculous amounts of beads and other throws at your friends. Beads are packaged in plastic bags in a gross (12 dozen necklaces). Those bags easily weigh several pounds and are what you're "bombed" with. I've seen children in tears after getting struck, people knocked down, you get the idea. This unlucky lady took several bags to the face, followed by a full beer can. Yes, you read that right. They threw her a beer. Not at all unheard of. When The Dude rode in a parade several years ago (pre-children) he tossed me a beer or two as he rode by. Anyway, the beer struck her square in the jaw, breaking it. Yipes!

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I am SOOOOOOO happy my husband is one of those fix it type guys. My washing machine decided to just quit working mid cycle (full tub and all!). Thankfully he had the door switch changed out and the load finished within an hour. Sweet! Later, when talking with an acquaintance, I realized how luck I am when the guy said, "Oh no. Dude, when a washing machine quits working, I'd just throw it out and buy a new one." Wow, seriously? Yes, seriously.

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It came out in discussion last night that my boss a.k.a. my father in law is kinda holding The Dude back at work because, get this, he's scared that if he sends The Dude to out of town things that I won't be able to "handle the kids" by myself, and I'll complain to him. Um, what? A.) I can handle my children on my own just fine, thanks; 2.) FIL is the LAST person I would ever complain to if I were having a hard time caring for the kids. Here's a thought: if you (FIL) think that I might be having a hard time with the kids, how 'bout you and Mamma In Law take your grandkids every now and then. Novel idea huh? Or, just make the 1 minute trip over to our house to help out. Oh I'm sorry, that would probably interrupt your social life. My bad.

King Cake is SOOOO Last Year!

The How To:

So, the cake was a huge hit and was yummy too! The cake part was SUPER easy but made a huge impact once cut.

I took two boxed white cake mixes and mixed them up according to package directions with the addition of two boxes of white chocolate flavored pudding.

Once mixed up, I divided the batter into three bowls and colored them in the traditional Mardi Gras colors of purple, gold, and green. I baked three 9 inch cakes. Cool and trim the tops. Now let's make the almond cream filling!

The ingredients:

1 Cup half and half

1 vanilla bean, split lengthwise

1/3 Cup sugar

1/4 Cup all purpose flour

2 large eggs

1/2 of a 7 oz. roll almond paste, diced

6 ounces white chocolate

2 T unsalted butter

2/3 Cup heavy whipping cream

Mmmmmm, vanilla beans. They came two per package so I took the other bean and popped it in my coffee sugar canister. Yum! Vanilla sugar for my coffee! The Dude even noticed the slight vanilla-y flavor.

Pour half and half into medium saucepan. Scrape the seeds from the vanilla bean, add them and the bean. Bring to a simmer. Remove from heat, steep 15 mins. Combine sugar and flour in bowl. Whisk in eggs, then warm half and half mixture; return to pan. Add almond paste. Whisk over med. heat until paste dissolves (10-ish minutes). Remove from heat. Add white chocolate and butter, whisking until smooth.

Press plastic wrap onto custard (we don't want a skin, yuck!). Chill for a few hours (the custard, not you).
Remove the vanilla bean and toss it. Beat the cream to stiff peaks (we need it stiff so it can withstand the weight of the cakes). Fold the whipped cream into custard. Cover and chill.
For the icing, I made a cream cheese frosting. I added about 3/4 Cup of the almond cream into it to give it a little kick of almond.
I placed the green cake layer on a cake board and piped a ring of frosting around the cake to act as a kind of dam, then spread the almond cream on.
On top of that, I placed the yellow cake layer. I did the frosting ring again, but this time spread raspberry preserves. I would say I used about a cup.

Mmmmmm, layers!

I took a bit of the (still) white frosting and did a crumb coat on the cake.

I colored most of the frosting a deep golden yellow with a small amount colored purple and gold. I used a large star tip to pipe purple rosettes and green....ummm....I don't know what you'd call those.

Not sure if you noticed this part, but look at that last picture. Look to the left of the cut. Oh yes, those are little finger swipes, courtesy of my little munchkins.