Please, DON'T help me.

Me no good mood today. I've been up since 5am, so that right there puts me off. I don't sleep much later than that, but still! I tried to fall back to sleep after Pickles woke up but The Dude was snoring so friggen loud I just couldn't. So I got up, ground the coffee beans, put the pot on to brew and hopped in the shower. Yay! A shower! I haven't had one of those in FOREVER!
I wake up the still snoring Dude, hand him his coffee and let him know the shower is all his. I head to the kitchen to finish any lingering dishes from the previous night, switch the clothes in the washer to the dryer, pull out the clothes from the dryer and fold those bad boys. It's about then that I hear the twins arguing (6:30ish). Twin B is demanding that Twin A get up and open the door for her. Twin B still hasn't mastered that little skill, so she's at the whim of her sister. Twin A refuses and there is a fierce fight going on. Finally, I hear the door swing open and Twin B appears...all smiles.
I meet their demands of milk, vitamins and a waffle and head back to the kitchen to fix The Dude a breakfast quesadilla. I barely get a thank you before he sits down and pulls out MY laptop. I'm not being a biotch here. It is my laptop. Our bosses bought it for me so I could work at home during my maternity leave with Pickles, and for those days that I'm without a sitter. Currently, my desktop at work is out of commission so the laptop is my only computer. I had it packed up and ready to go, then HE takes it out to play games.
"Please make sure that gets packed up before I'm ready to leave." I even said that nicely.
"It's only 7:30. Chill out," he groggily tells me.
I rolled my eyes because I can already see how this morning will play out.
By the time Pickles rolls out of bed I'm ready for everyone to be dressed and ready to head out. The Dude picks up Pickles and sets him on his lap. He offers to screw up the process help, by dressing Pickles himself. GREAT. This will slow me down by at least 10 minutes.
Twin A rocked this morning. She got herself dressed, socks, shoes and all, AND was ready to go without any complaints. Twin B would NOT get shoes on, no matter how much I begged.
As I ushered Pickles and Twin A to the car, The Dude breezes by me, muttering something about being late for work. I take a step back into the house to holler at Twin B when I see it. Surprise, surprise, my laptop is sitting on the table next to The Dude's chair. Of course he's long gone by this point so I have to get all the kids buckled in AND re-pack my laptop. Is he trying to make my mornings more difficult?! I swear!
After lots of tears over Twin B's missing blue cape we discover the cape was actually IN the car already. Geez.
I made it to work, only 9 minutes late today (new record). Oh, special treat, FIL's dogs are here this morning. Lovely. I just LOVE my office smelling like a combination of feet, Frito's, and vomit (one of the dogs has this allergy that makes her stink SOOOOO badly). Stellar day I tell you, stellar.