Thursday, February 12, 2009

You Might Be a Redneck if...

I get it. I live in the DEEP south. The rest of the country thinks of us as a bunch of rednecks. While this is true for some ok a lot, some of us are more refined and get just as big a laugh as you do at the sight of entire families dressed in camouflage at church.
Yesterday I stopped at Payless on my lunch. It's BOGO, y'all! I didn't find anything I liked, which is odd, but beside the point. Defeated, and on my way out the door I spotted these lovelies
What?! Seriously? You can't see it but that price tag says $24.99!

What do you wear these with? Perhaps this little number

Or this, high fashion, ensemble.

Wait, she's already got some rather fancy shoes on.
Perhaps they're meant for one of those redneck weddings where the bride wears camo.

Oooo! I found our blushing bride the perfect wedding cake!

I hesitate to show you this, but what the heck. The following picture was in our local paper a while back.

No, they didn't scrape up some road kill and serve it to guests. That, my friends, is a Nutria groom's cake. The Nutria, or water rat, is known for it's webbed feet, orange teeth that stick out of it's mouth, and it's love of gnawing on marsh plants. The groom told the local paper that he was quite familiar with the rats as he'd always see them swimming around while he was out in the marshes. The groom stated that he liked the bleeding armadillo cake seen in "Steel Magnolias," but felt that had been "done already." So he opted for the Nutria cake. In case you were wondering, yes, it too was red velvet. You know, to give it that bleeding look when cut.

And now one more picture of camouflage. This type of camo is acceptable in my book, he he he.

When The Dude was in Iraq, the wives were called to the squadron to view the first photographs of our men since their deployment. Upon seeing a picture of the unit, all in desert camo, standing in the desert sands, I shouted, "I don't see them!!" WHAT?! I thought it was funny.


Hohni said...

My son would go bonkers if he could marry a gal who would wear a camo dress AND have a camo cake!!!!

Maricris Zen Mama said...

Red necks! So funny I get 'em here too and I ain't in the DEEP south y'know! They invade us most days at work! LOL! Now I wish I can wear a camo at work so no one can see me and bother me each day. You think that would be a great idea? hmmm....

The Rambler said...

Love Payless...Just because this mama can't afford the expensive kind. But I have humungo feet so sometimes the cute stuff isn't in my section :(

That's one interesting cake....I shuddered reading the story about it.....shuddering again.

Sassypants Wifey said...

well ding dang, if that aint the purtiest durn dress right thar, I dont know what it is. Smack me with a water rat and call me jimmy joe hibby jibby. Thats my fancy talk, you like? he he he I would probably earn a place in heaven quicker if I quit making fun of people, but dude, if it werent for us under acheivers, those with a secured spot might not be so secure. Am I right?!

Pixeltrash said...

OMG... this is so funny. Really... camo wedding and groom's cake. Hmmmm...

Keep right on wearing that adorable rust number. WAY better to look fancy than to wear camo!