My Inappropriateness Knows No Bounds.

Note to self: make your face presentable before taking pictures you intend to post on the Internet.

Yesterday my friend and I discussed whether or not it was a good idea for her to attend Jazz Fest in New Orleans, in light of the looming pandemic. I jokingly said I would bedazzle her a mask to wear.

We all know how my sick little mind works. On my lunch I decided to whip up a few jazzed up masks. I could not actually lay my hands on a bedazzler, but I did have plenty of glitter and puff paint!

Louisiana people will buy ANYTHING with a fleur de lis on it...don't lie. You know it's true.

One final word before I go, dear readers. If you concerned about the flu and wish to wear a mask, this kind really isn't gonna do much for you. They become saturated within a few hours, not to mention your eyes are still exposed (mucous membranes anyone??). Ewwww, I said mucous.

I heart this blog!

I am super excited!!! I just finalized my order for some fancy-shmancy decals for my Kitchenaide mixer!!!! The lovely Rebecca from Roots and Wings Co , makes and sells them on her Etsy shop along with some other cool items! Haven't visited Root and Wings yet? You absolutely should. It's two crafty sisters and their crafty sister in law and they have TONS of great ideas and recipes! I love, love, love their blog.

Wanna see what she designed for me? Of course you do.

Eeep! How precious are those birdies?!

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, but M.D. (MammaDucky, tee-hee), your mixer hasn't worked since September 2008! You mention that fact a lot! In fact, you mentioned it here and here for starters. Yes, astute readers, my mixer IS still broken. I'm hoping that if I look pathetic enough holding my decals up next to my brokey mixer that The Dude will run right out and buy me a new one! Smart, no?

I'll be checking YouTube regularly...

My baby is fine. Well, I mean, his lip is stitched up again. They did 10 stitches AND Dermabond. Good luck getting that out. Hmmm, maybe I shouldn't taunt him.

When the doc called us back to explain how things went, he pulled out his camera. I thought, dude, this is totally an inappropriate time to show us your fishing trip pictures. He quickly scrolled to the section with Pickles. That is when the only tear I cried during this experience fell. Seeing my only my baby's tiny mouth exposed beneath a sea of blue surgical drapes was hard. I know this sounds super lame because there are numerous children with far more serious injuries and health issues, but it was my kid, so indulge me.

Anyway, back to the pictures. He was trying to show before and after pictures. When he scrolled to what he THOUGHT would be the "after" picture, a series of goofy pics featuring the nurses and my child. They are pretty lucky I'm not uptight and have a sense of humor. They put some headbands on him and snapped some pics. One nurse was spiking up his hair. They said he growled a lot as they were giving him the good drugs. I wonder if there is video of him floating around in cyberspace??

The nurses all cooed over him and went on and on about how precious he was. As they walked me to the back to see him, the nurse told me that he wouldn't open his eyes yet and wasn't quite waking up just yet. As soon as I bent over to kiss him and tell him Mamma was there, he growled. He peeped open his eyes a tad and growled at me! The next hour included lots of apple juice spilled on himself, lots more growling, and non-stop jabber about riding the elevator.

He ate two bowls of strawberry ice cream upon returning home and ate a healthy dinner. So, all is well.

P.S.

This is what my Pickles looked like after the first round of stitches. Not bad eh?

Too bad the urgent care doc left the suture thread so long that he was able to pull it out!

I hadn't noticed it till I looked at the pictures. The flash from my camera must have made it gleam because it wasn't noticeable in person.

Happy Monday, surgery at 3!

Nice start to my week. Pickles will go into surgery in a couple of hours to repair a pretty gnarly bo-bo on his lip. Total accident. Got knocked over last night, smacked his face on the way down. We got him stitched up last night at urgent care but being the darling that he is, he pulled his stitches out. Back to the doctor we went, only to be sent for a consult with a surgeon. Two surgeons stared at him and chatted amongst themselves, coming back with a "this should have been referred to us last night. He needs surgery." Great.
So my dear friends, I'm about to wake my hungry baby poor guy is so thirsty and starving but can't have anything, for obvious reasons and tote him off for his plastic surgery. Yeah, my kid is having plastic surgery before age 2! I smell trouble in my future with this one...
Back with a real post later or tomorrow depending upon how good of drugs they give him, tee-hee.

P.S. Rambler, I got my very own boyphone!!!! Eeeeep! All I needed was an injured child and mother in law declared I needed a phone ASAP. Apparently, I needed an iPhone. Who knew?

"Real Moms don't make quiche"

I beg to differ. I have gotten that email about what real Moms do and don't do. Near the end of the list is the part about real moms not baking quiche. I'm here to say UNTRUE!!!!

Quiche really are easy to do. You can throw just about anything in them and it will seem fancy. The mini quiche I made the other night were made out of the leftovers in my fridge. I had a red and an orange bell pepper that were just about at the end of their lifespan, basil from my garden!!! picture me doing the cabbage patch shouting "go me! go me!", some leftover bacon, and some ready-made pie crusts. I always have eggs and cheese on hand, so I figured that would suffice. I made mini quiche instead of one normal sized quiche because, let's face it, anything miniature or over sized is cute and fun except my over sized boo-tay.

Mamma Ducky's Mini Quiche

1 pkg. ready made pie crust (the kind that comes rolled up)

3 eggs

1 1/4 C heavy cream, half and half, or milk you decide, based on your desired waistline...I went middle of the road with half and half

1/2 C roasted red, yellow, or orange bell peppers (or any combination)finely chopped to roast a bell pepper, slice it in half, seed it, and brush it with olive oil all over. Place on foil lined broiler wrack and crank that broiler up. Broil until peppers appear slightly charred (mine took 5-9 mins.)

3 slices cooked bacon, chopped who has cooked bacon in their fridge? I do. Southerners tend to fry up bacon just to use the bacon grease in recipes and we're left with fully cooked bacon. Some of you may buy fully cooked bacon, there by having slightly cleaner arteries than myself because you did not use the bacon grease in some other recipe. Goody for you.

1/3 Cup frozen spinach, defrosted, squeezed see, I'm not totally without healthy thoughts.

2 leaves of fresh basil finely chopped

1 Cup shredded cheese of your choice (I used 2% cheddar cheese) feta, Monterrey jack or a smoked variety would be yummers too.

Why is there an unnecessary picture of shredded cheese? We all know what shredded cheese looks like after all. Because I heart cheese and it's my blog.

**most of this can be done ahead of time, like roasting and chopping the peppers, the bacon, shredding the cheese. If you have that all done ahead of time and ready to go, this comes together really quickly.

Remove the pie crust dough from the fridge and let it set out for 15 minutes or so (or put it in the microwave for 15 seconds on defrost setting). Unroll it on a mostly clean workspace. Now, I wanted REALLY mini quiche. Like tart tin size (for the little people, you know how it is). I scrounged the kitchen to find something that would work as a dough cutter. Now, if you're fancy-shmancy and have a round cookie cutter that is approximately 2 inches in diameter you're set. If you're like me, you'll take the cap off of the Flintstones vitamin bottle and use it.

I cut out 24 little circles, sprayed my tins with non-stick spray, then pressed the circles into the tins.

Next, beat your eggs and add the milk/cream/half & half. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Combine the roasted peppers, bacon, spinach and basil in a small bowl. Spoon slightly less than 1 tsp. of the mixture into each pastry-lined tine. Spoon appr. 1 T egg mixture into each tin. Sprinkle with cheese. Pop into a preheated 350 degree oven for about 20 minutes. Done and donerer. Serve warm or room temperature.

*NOTE* you can most certainly use muffin tins, you'll just need to use a bigger cookie cutter (or lid) and adjust the amounts put into each cup accordingly. If you're boring and just want a standard, pie sized quiche, put your dough in a pie plate and throw everything inside. You'll want to bake it until the center is no longer jiggly.

After the fact, I realized caramelized onions would have just made these little suckers to die for. As they stand they're pretty darn good, I just wouldn't jump in front of a train to save a tray of them.

The Dude strolled in the door as these were cooling on the counter. I told him to try one. ONE. He ate 13.

I survived

I'm sure you were all just waiting on pins and needles to hear about sister in law's big wedding event. Well, I needed this long to process everything and recover from the stress I know you're thinking, wait this wasn't her wedding, why was she stressed...read on my friends, read on. I'm going to pepper this post with pictures from the rehearsal and getting ready.

As I'm frantically packing last Thursday afternoon I realize one set of sparkly, pink, flower girl shoes are M.I.A. CRAP MAN! I've had those bad boys sitting pretty in their boxes for over a month and NOW I can't find one pair?! We let the girls wear their shoes for Easter. After Mass I changed Twin B and immediately took her shoes off and carefully placed them back in their box. Mother in law changed Twin A. I knew that was going to be a problem. I later saw Twin A skipping about in her sparkly shoes. I told mother in law to please remove them and put them back where they belong...well yeah, no.

I was in full freak out mode while The Dude sat, playing on his iPhone really, I am SOOOO close to flushing that thing. He throws out the ever-so-helpful, "lemmie call my Mom and see what she says." The look on my face was one of touch that phone to call your Mom and I will gut you. I decided to write it off as a loss and made plans to head to Target when we got there. Crisis averted.

Twins were super stoked that they got to drink water out "fancy cups."

The rehearsal was fairly uneventful. There were older children doing things one should not do in a Cathedral so I thought my kids would be thought of as angels. WRONG. Father in law accused the twins of doing the bad things and threw us out of the Cathedral...nice.

Pickles danced till he dropped at the rehearsal dinner.

The Dude and sister in law

Me and my little Pickles

Day of the wedding, I got to Target and got everyone ready in time. Amazing, no? Pickles, apparently trying to order room serive...that kid is ALWAYS hungry.

Twin B was all smiles

The kids, extrememly bored in the bridal suite.

The kids and I rode in the limo with the bridal party and then waited in a tiny little room for 1 1/2 hrs....yeah fun. The girls did great. Got tons of laughs and smiles as they waved to everyone down the aisle.

We hopped a shuttle bus back to the hotel for the reception. It was like the ride of death. The driver was friggen nuts. My bag tipped over within the first minute of the trip, spilling the contents. Thought I picked everything up, but apparently not. My phone is missing. Oh, and the shuttle bus company's number has been disconnected since Sunday morning. CRAP!

At the reception, we garnered more than our fair share of attention. The Dude had worn his Dress Blues and looked AMAZING *swoon*. The downside to that part? Oh, the drunks. One poor sap walked up to The Dude and started flipping his medals with his fingers.

Dear God, he's going to kill him

The Dude snatched the guy's hand, "Don't touch those."
Drunk guy, "What are these?" His hand is now white as The Dude has cut off circulation to his hand with the grip of death. "You win these or are these just for show?"

Run for your life idiot! He's about to rip your arm off!!!!

"I earned these. Do not EVER disrespect this uniform again." He gave one last good squeeze before letting go. Drunk guy quickly changes gears and starts apologizing and praising The Dude. Wow, uncomfortable!!!

Not to be outdone for idiot of the night award, The Dude's uncle asks him why he wore his uniform, "Not like you're a Marine anymore or anything." Do you people have a death wish?!

The Dude, "I am still a Marine. Once a Marine, always a Marine."

Stupid Uncle, "No you're not. You haven't been in the military for a couple of years now."

The Dude, 'I will always be a Marine. Don't disrespect my uniform or my service again." he too had made flippant remarks about the medals. I love The Dude. He was so cool under that pressure. The Dude a few years ago, would have probably severely hurt those guys. Ah, to be older and wiser.

Other than those two incidences, things were good. I got a migraine and had to call it a night by 10:30pm. We literally had to drag the twins off the dance floor.

Unfortunately, I did not have the foresight to request pictures of The Dude, the kids and I all dressed up. People are slowly emailing me candid pics of us all dressed up. I think the bridal photographer got a few. I'll show 'em if and when we get them.

I need a drink after all of that!

The New Mu-Mu?

Maxi dresses. They're all the rage. Everyone who's anyone has them that was said in my most snobbish valley-girl tone. I bought a pajama maxi dress this weekend. I LOVE it. I find myself slipping into that thing the instant I get home. The Dude likes it. Thinks I look cute in it. Then it dawned on me, this is a Mu-Mu for my era. Seriously, think about it.

House dresses/day dresses have been around F-O-R-E-V-E-R. I have evidence.

This is where I think it all started. These are "day dresses" from the 1810s. Kinda comfy looking, considering what was worn prior to this (think bustles and corsets). Dudes, I would totally wear that. These beauties could HIDE some flaws!

We're gonna jump forward a bit here for the next example. The "house dress" of the 1940s. Still elegant looking, but again, comfortable. This, ladies, is what we would wear to lounge about if we were stylin' ladies of the 1940s.Moving right along, a dress of the 1960s. Very mod. Very chic. The mu-mu shape is slowly developing.

Moving along. Rambler, help me out here. This is listed as "island wear." As in current island wear. I picked it cuz I remember seeing a lot of this kinda stuff in the 80s.

Now we come to the classic Mu-Mu. The Golden Girls variety. STYLIN!!

Finally, my friends, I present you with the current day "Maxi dress," which I've now come to realize is an updated Mu-Mu.

It is now acceptable and even fashionable to go out in a glorified nightgown. SWEET! Now, I must work on bringing back that "bed head" look for your hair. Remember that phase? That was my favorite hairstyle fad...right up their with the "Rachel."