Thursday, March 12, 2009

Tears of a clown

The Pecan Street Preschool Mafia strikes again. I was, yet again, not let in on the latest school event. I was totally stoked to have a prime spot in the pick-up line today. I should have KNOWN something was up. As my little Twinkies walked up to the car, I thought it scary as hell a little odd that their teacher was dressed up like a clown. "Ummm, what a lovely outfit Ms. Debra has on today, isn't it girls?!" She gives me a half smile and loads my little people into the car.
Twin A has this look on her face that is just gut wrenching. She looks like I have just run over her cat. "Hey Mr. Grumpy Gills, what's wrong?" She doesn't reply. Alrighty, I'll just skip over this little incident in the making. "What did y'all do at school today?" I inquire.
"You didn't come to the circus. ALL of the other Mommies came. But not you."
First of all, I heard NO mention of any circus event at the school. When I dropped them off this morning they certainly didn't ask if I would be attending.
"What circus?"
"We had circus day today and all the Mommies came. Why didn't YOU come?" She was almost about to break into tears at this point. Then she hit me with the kick to the gut.
"K's Mamma came. She let us stand by her. K's Mamma came and you didn't." Motherf..."K's Mamma" is none other than Alpha Beauty Queen Mom. GREEEAAT.
Is this woman now trying to turn my babies against me now? Gah! Like TODAY I needed that.
How do you apologize to a 3 yr old and make her understand that I did not intentionally skip their "big" day. I tried to tell her that Mommy had to work, blah, blah, blah. She wasn't biting. Thank GOD there was a bag of cotton candy tied to her school bag. As I pulled her out of the car at the babysitter's house I told her that she could eat all of the cotton candy she could stand, then made the "I don't know where she got that stuff from" shoulder shrug to the babysitter. Sweet. Redemption, in the form of sticky goodness.
This is only partially related to the story I just told, but here goes. Alpha Beauty Queen Mom has pictures of MY KIDS on her iPhone yeah, even her phone choice is better than mine. I kinda feel like the kid with the Payless tennis shoes while she has the Air Jordans....CRAP! I'm WEARING Payless shoes right now!!! How do I know this you ask? She ran into The Dude out somewhere and got all giggly talking to him about the twins and showing off the pictures she had snapped of them. Gag.


Roxane said...

Oh no! I'm so sorry you unintentionally missed the circus. I promise it will blow over by the time the next school sanctioned "big day" comes around! I don't have children of my own but as a babysitter i've "stood in" for many parents at those kinds of events (and the Alpha Moms give me the stare down every time!)

The Rambler said...

From one Payless shoe wearer to another....I swear to Starbucks I am going to b--ch slap those evil momma's.

Whew, sorry....I hate when I read stuff like that. know I always have your back.


Sassypants Wifey said...

Dude, I had circus day today too, I handed out cotton candy and 2x4 swings to the face, aww bummer, out of cotton candy, shall I drop by Miss Alpha mothers house? That is horrible. I say you need to talk to the teacher and say loudly and slowly "GIVE ME A CALENDAR WITH ALL ACTIVITIES ON IT OR SO HELP ME EDDIE IZZARD I WILL CHOKE THE LIFE OUT OF YOU WITH A CUPCAKE!" Or I could send my team of "persuasive" handlers Vito and Stabby Joe? Either way, both should work... Sorry Momma. Give our other kiddos smoochies from us.

MammaDucky said...

How the heck IS Stabby Joe these days?!

Jess said...

What a Bee-atch!!
Sorry, that's all I got!!
You really are a GREAT MOM!!

Sassypants Wifey said...

Hes good, a little on the stabby side though. Great to have around in a pinch though, I must say...

andy said...


I totally hated the clique at the preschool.

I will seriously kick some snobby ass if you just give the word.

I know tricks.

For shiz.


P.S. I have some extra cans of "whoop ass" too.

The Blonde Duck said...

Ugh! There's just nothing good out of any of that. You should have some pie. It'll make you feel better.

Jenny Wegner said...

That's cold! Sometimes when I think about what super power I would have if I got one, I stray from the obvious choice (flying, duh) and wish I could have the power to know just what to say to make a person cry. Now I realize that this makes me sound like a Cruella, but I mean it for cases like this when people are mean or snobby or unjust to others - to say exactly what needs to be said to give that person some much needed empathy. I'd make those moms cry.

I agree that you should talk to the teacher and let her know how disappointed you are to have been left out of the circus loop and that you want a calendar of events.

Veggie Mom said...

Well...better to have not gone than to have shown up dressed like a clown for the circus on the wrong day, huh? I've done that before!