My Inappropriateness Knows No Bounds.

Note to self: make your face presentable before taking pictures you intend to post on the Internet.

Yesterday my friend and I discussed whether or not it was a good idea for her to attend Jazz Fest in New Orleans, in light of the looming pandemic. I jokingly said I would bedazzle her a mask to wear.

We all know how my sick little mind works. On my lunch I decided to whip up a few jazzed up masks. I could not actually lay my hands on a bedazzler, but I did have plenty of glitter and puff paint!

Louisiana people will buy ANYTHING with a fleur de lis on it...don't lie. You know it's true.

One final word before I go, dear readers. If you concerned about the flu and wish to wear a mask, this kind really isn't gonna do much for you. They become saturated within a few hours, not to mention your eyes are still exposed (mucous membranes anyone??). Ewwww, I said mucous.

I heart this blog!

I am super excited!!! I just finalized my order for some fancy-shmancy decals for my Kitchenaide mixer!!!! The lovely Rebecca from Roots and Wings Co , makes and sells them on her Etsy shop along with some other cool items! Haven't visited Root and Wings yet? You absolutely should. It's two crafty sisters and their crafty sister in law and they have TONS of great ideas and recipes! I love, love, love their blog.

Wanna see what she designed for me? Of course you do.

Eeep! How precious are those birdies?!

I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, but M.D. (MammaDucky, tee-hee), your mixer hasn't worked since September 2008! You mention that fact a lot! In fact, you mentioned it here and here for starters. Yes, astute readers, my mixer IS still broken. I'm hoping that if I look pathetic enough holding my decals up next to my brokey mixer that The Dude will run right out and buy me a new one! Smart, no?

I'll be checking YouTube regularly...

My baby is fine. Well, I mean, his lip is stitched up again. They did 10 stitches AND Dermabond. Good luck getting that out. Hmmm, maybe I shouldn't taunt him.

When the doc called us back to explain how things went, he pulled out his camera. I thought, dude, this is totally an inappropriate time to show us your fishing trip pictures. He quickly scrolled to the section with Pickles. That is when the only tear I cried during this experience fell. Seeing my only my baby's tiny mouth exposed beneath a sea of blue surgical drapes was hard. I know this sounds super lame because there are numerous children with far more serious injuries and health issues, but it was my kid, so indulge me.

Anyway, back to the pictures. He was trying to show before and after pictures. When he scrolled to what he THOUGHT would be the "after" picture, a series of goofy pics featuring the nurses and my child. They are pretty lucky I'm not uptight and have a sense of humor. They put some headbands on him and snapped some pics. One nurse was spiking up his hair. They said he growled a lot as they were giving him the good drugs. I wonder if there is video of him floating around in cyberspace??

The nurses all cooed over him and went on and on about how precious he was. As they walked me to the back to see him, the nurse told me that he wouldn't open his eyes yet and wasn't quite waking up just yet. As soon as I bent over to kiss him and tell him Mamma was there, he growled. He peeped open his eyes a tad and growled at me! The next hour included lots of apple juice spilled on himself, lots more growling, and non-stop jabber about riding the elevator.

He ate two bowls of strawberry ice cream upon returning home and ate a healthy dinner. So, all is well.

P.S.

This is what my Pickles looked like after the first round of stitches. Not bad eh?

Too bad the urgent care doc left the suture thread so long that he was able to pull it out!

I hadn't noticed it till I looked at the pictures. The flash from my camera must have made it gleam because it wasn't noticeable in person.

Happy Monday, surgery at 3!

Nice start to my week. Pickles will go into surgery in a couple of hours to repair a pretty gnarly bo-bo on his lip. Total accident. Got knocked over last night, smacked his face on the way down. We got him stitched up last night at urgent care but being the darling that he is, he pulled his stitches out. Back to the doctor we went, only to be sent for a consult with a surgeon. Two surgeons stared at him and chatted amongst themselves, coming back with a "this should have been referred to us last night. He needs surgery." Great.
So my dear friends, I'm about to wake my hungry baby poor guy is so thirsty and starving but can't have anything, for obvious reasons and tote him off for his plastic surgery. Yeah, my kid is having plastic surgery before age 2! I smell trouble in my future with this one...
Back with a real post later or tomorrow depending upon how good of drugs they give him, tee-hee.

P.S. Rambler, I got my very own boyphone!!!! Eeeeep! All I needed was an injured child and mother in law declared I needed a phone ASAP. Apparently, I needed an iPhone. Who knew?

"Real Moms don't make quiche"

I beg to differ. I have gotten that email about what real Moms do and don't do. Near the end of the list is the part about real moms not baking quiche. I'm here to say UNTRUE!!!!

Quiche really are easy to do. You can throw just about anything in them and it will seem fancy. The mini quiche I made the other night were made out of the leftovers in my fridge. I had a red and an orange bell pepper that were just about at the end of their lifespan, basil from my garden!!! picture me doing the cabbage patch shouting "go me! go me!", some leftover bacon, and some ready-made pie crusts. I always have eggs and cheese on hand, so I figured that would suffice. I made mini quiche instead of one normal sized quiche because, let's face it, anything miniature or over sized is cute and fun except my over sized boo-tay.

Mamma Ducky's Mini Quiche

1 pkg. ready made pie crust (the kind that comes rolled up)

3 eggs

1 1/4 C heavy cream, half and half, or milk you decide, based on your desired waistline...I went middle of the road with half and half

1/2 C roasted red, yellow, or orange bell peppers (or any combination)finely chopped to roast a bell pepper, slice it in half, seed it, and brush it with olive oil all over. Place on foil lined broiler wrack and crank that broiler up. Broil until peppers appear slightly charred (mine took 5-9 mins.)

3 slices cooked bacon, chopped who has cooked bacon in their fridge? I do. Southerners tend to fry up bacon just to use the bacon grease in recipes and we're left with fully cooked bacon. Some of you may buy fully cooked bacon, there by having slightly cleaner arteries than myself because you did not use the bacon grease in some other recipe. Goody for you.

1/3 Cup frozen spinach, defrosted, squeezed see, I'm not totally without healthy thoughts.

2 leaves of fresh basil finely chopped

1 Cup shredded cheese of your choice (I used 2% cheddar cheese) feta, Monterrey jack or a smoked variety would be yummers too.

Why is there an unnecessary picture of shredded cheese? We all know what shredded cheese looks like after all. Because I heart cheese and it's my blog.

**most of this can be done ahead of time, like roasting and chopping the peppers, the bacon, shredding the cheese. If you have that all done ahead of time and ready to go, this comes together really quickly.

Remove the pie crust dough from the fridge and let it set out for 15 minutes or so (or put it in the microwave for 15 seconds on defrost setting). Unroll it on a mostly clean workspace. Now, I wanted REALLY mini quiche. Like tart tin size (for the little people, you know how it is). I scrounged the kitchen to find something that would work as a dough cutter. Now, if you're fancy-shmancy and have a round cookie cutter that is approximately 2 inches in diameter you're set. If you're like me, you'll take the cap off of the Flintstones vitamin bottle and use it.

I cut out 24 little circles, sprayed my tins with non-stick spray, then pressed the circles into the tins.

Next, beat your eggs and add the milk/cream/half & half. Season with salt and pepper to taste.

Combine the roasted peppers, bacon, spinach and basil in a small bowl. Spoon slightly less than 1 tsp. of the mixture into each pastry-lined tine. Spoon appr. 1 T egg mixture into each tin. Sprinkle with cheese. Pop into a preheated 350 degree oven for about 20 minutes. Done and donerer. Serve warm or room temperature.

*NOTE* you can most certainly use muffin tins, you'll just need to use a bigger cookie cutter (or lid) and adjust the amounts put into each cup accordingly. If you're boring and just want a standard, pie sized quiche, put your dough in a pie plate and throw everything inside. You'll want to bake it until the center is no longer jiggly.

After the fact, I realized caramelized onions would have just made these little suckers to die for. As they stand they're pretty darn good, I just wouldn't jump in front of a train to save a tray of them.

The Dude strolled in the door as these were cooling on the counter. I told him to try one. ONE. He ate 13.

I survived

I'm sure you were all just waiting on pins and needles to hear about sister in law's big wedding event. Well, I needed this long to process everything and recover from the stress I know you're thinking, wait this wasn't her wedding, why was she stressed...read on my friends, read on. I'm going to pepper this post with pictures from the rehearsal and getting ready.

As I'm frantically packing last Thursday afternoon I realize one set of sparkly, pink, flower girl shoes are M.I.A. CRAP MAN! I've had those bad boys sitting pretty in their boxes for over a month and NOW I can't find one pair?! We let the girls wear their shoes for Easter. After Mass I changed Twin B and immediately took her shoes off and carefully placed them back in their box. Mother in law changed Twin A. I knew that was going to be a problem. I later saw Twin A skipping about in her sparkly shoes. I told mother in law to please remove them and put them back where they belong...well yeah, no.

I was in full freak out mode while The Dude sat, playing on his iPhone really, I am SOOOO close to flushing that thing. He throws out the ever-so-helpful, "lemmie call my Mom and see what she says." The look on my face was one of touch that phone to call your Mom and I will gut you. I decided to write it off as a loss and made plans to head to Target when we got there. Crisis averted.

Twins were super stoked that they got to drink water out "fancy cups."

The rehearsal was fairly uneventful. There were older children doing things one should not do in a Cathedral so I thought my kids would be thought of as angels. WRONG. Father in law accused the twins of doing the bad things and threw us out of the Cathedral...nice.

Pickles danced till he dropped at the rehearsal dinner.

The Dude and sister in law

Me and my little Pickles

Day of the wedding, I got to Target and got everyone ready in time. Amazing, no? Pickles, apparently trying to order room serive...that kid is ALWAYS hungry.

Twin B was all smiles

The kids, extrememly bored in the bridal suite.

The kids and I rode in the limo with the bridal party and then waited in a tiny little room for 1 1/2 hrs....yeah fun. The girls did great. Got tons of laughs and smiles as they waved to everyone down the aisle.

We hopped a shuttle bus back to the hotel for the reception. It was like the ride of death. The driver was friggen nuts. My bag tipped over within the first minute of the trip, spilling the contents. Thought I picked everything up, but apparently not. My phone is missing. Oh, and the shuttle bus company's number has been disconnected since Sunday morning. CRAP!

At the reception, we garnered more than our fair share of attention. The Dude had worn his Dress Blues and looked AMAZING *swoon*. The downside to that part? Oh, the drunks. One poor sap walked up to The Dude and started flipping his medals with his fingers.

Dear God, he's going to kill him

The Dude snatched the guy's hand, "Don't touch those."
Drunk guy, "What are these?" His hand is now white as The Dude has cut off circulation to his hand with the grip of death. "You win these or are these just for show?"

Run for your life idiot! He's about to rip your arm off!!!!

"I earned these. Do not EVER disrespect this uniform again." He gave one last good squeeze before letting go. Drunk guy quickly changes gears and starts apologizing and praising The Dude. Wow, uncomfortable!!!

Not to be outdone for idiot of the night award, The Dude's uncle asks him why he wore his uniform, "Not like you're a Marine anymore or anything." Do you people have a death wish?!

The Dude, "I am still a Marine. Once a Marine, always a Marine."

Stupid Uncle, "No you're not. You haven't been in the military for a couple of years now."

The Dude, 'I will always be a Marine. Don't disrespect my uniform or my service again." he too had made flippant remarks about the medals. I love The Dude. He was so cool under that pressure. The Dude a few years ago, would have probably severely hurt those guys. Ah, to be older and wiser.

Other than those two incidences, things were good. I got a migraine and had to call it a night by 10:30pm. We literally had to drag the twins off the dance floor.

Unfortunately, I did not have the foresight to request pictures of The Dude, the kids and I all dressed up. People are slowly emailing me candid pics of us all dressed up. I think the bridal photographer got a few. I'll show 'em if and when we get them.

I need a drink after all of that!

The New Mu-Mu?

Maxi dresses. They're all the rage. Everyone who's anyone has them that was said in my most snobbish valley-girl tone. I bought a pajama maxi dress this weekend. I LOVE it. I find myself slipping into that thing the instant I get home. The Dude likes it. Thinks I look cute in it. Then it dawned on me, this is a Mu-Mu for my era. Seriously, think about it.

House dresses/day dresses have been around F-O-R-E-V-E-R. I have evidence.

This is where I think it all started. These are "day dresses" from the 1810s. Kinda comfy looking, considering what was worn prior to this (think bustles and corsets). Dudes, I would totally wear that. These beauties could HIDE some flaws!

We're gonna jump forward a bit here for the next example. The "house dress" of the 1940s. Still elegant looking, but again, comfortable. This, ladies, is what we would wear to lounge about if we were stylin' ladies of the 1940s.Moving right along, a dress of the 1960s. Very mod. Very chic. The mu-mu shape is slowly developing.

Moving along. Rambler, help me out here. This is listed as "island wear." As in current island wear. I picked it cuz I remember seeing a lot of this kinda stuff in the 80s.

Now we come to the classic Mu-Mu. The Golden Girls variety. STYLIN!!

Finally, my friends, I present you with the current day "Maxi dress," which I've now come to realize is an updated Mu-Mu.

It is now acceptable and even fashionable to go out in a glorified nightgown. SWEET! Now, I must work on bringing back that "bed head" look for your hair. Remember that phase? That was my favorite hairstyle fad...right up their with the "Rachel."

Wow, really??

So this little article was featured on Yahoo's news feed this morning. It's about how people making $250,000 (which is in that lovely little "wealthy" tax bracket Mr. Obama mentioned) don't feel wealthy. To quote Joey, from "Blossom," WHOA. Dudes, we (The Dude and I) make less than a quarter of that and we're far from struggling. We have very little credit card debt the little we have is ONLY because I had zero percent interest through November, so why not use other people's money for a while, a very reasonable car note (2005 Tahoe), big house with a yard with a mortgage under $1,000.00, we pay into a retirement, and that 6 month cushion financial experts have been harping on, saved up. We have nice things, but we don't try to "keep up with the Jonses."

Things didn't get this way by accident. I worked hard to get The Dude's credit rating sky high, so we could secure an awesome fixed rate mortgage (mine was already high from money discipline instilled early on thanks Mom!! ). I saved every penny The Dude made overseas so we could pay off the credit card debt he had wracked up when he was younger and when we were just starting out.

We bought a big house, but it was older (built in the 1940s) and needed some work. We bought that house in 2006, and is just about to where we want it!

We've had our fair share of setbacks. We were transitioning out of the military when I found out we were expecting twins! Twins!!! No insurance, living in an 850 sq. ft house. We survived though. We struggled, but made it. Then, a surprise pregnancy after the twins had just turned one. I distinctly remember saying "how will we afford this??" as The Dude handed me the positive pregnancy test. We made it. We survived. Late 2007, we discover our floors on the bottom level had rotted. I cried a lot about that one. I didn't know how we'd swing that payment. We made some cuts, here and there and did it. September 2008, hurricane Gustav causes more than $40,000.00 worth of damage to our home. More than 6 months later and we've got ONE MORE room (my master bath) to re-do. We're still alright.

I just don't get how people making SO MUCH money yes, it is a lot of money can't make it, or struggle. I know that people have lost jobs. I'm not talking about those people. I'm talking about people that simply over-extended themselves. People that bought houses that they knew they could not afford. People that bought stupid crap that they did not need just because it was there.

My kids don't go without. We don't wear tattered clothes. We don't overindulge. We take advantage of the free or cheap activities. Farmer's markets, parks, stuff like that. THAT is what we do for fun. My favorite thing to do is to head up to New Orleans for some begniets and cafe au laits and a stroll on the river front. Very inexpensive, but tons of fun. I meal plan and shop at Wal-Mart. We don't eat out a whole lot. We enjoy the little things in life.

I need to get off my lil soapbox don't I? I don't know, I just get worked up when I hear people complaining about situations they've gotten themselves into.

**disclaimer** This is generally speaking. There are lots of special circumstances, so please don't take offense...unless of course you're the type of people I'm talking about. In which case, take offense cuz you annoy me.

Crawpeesh Monica

My girl, Aunt Ali as the kids call her, helps us out a lot. She will be enduring the wedding with us tomorrow. She's coming to help out with the kiddos. As a thank you I wanted to make her favorite dish.

She LOVES this dish. Orders it every time when she's out.

This also happens to be THE dish to eat at Jazz Fest. I've been told the lines for Crawfish Monica are always the longest at the festival.

I looked online to try and locate the original recipe. All I found was a lot of debate. So, I looked at several recipes, and came up with a version that I thought sounded good.

Now, I don't eat seafood so it was hard for me to prepare something that I wasn't going to taste at all. I relied on Aunt Ali and The Dude to do the tasting for me.

They were MUCH impressed.

I titled mine "Crawpeesh Monica" because that's how Pickles pronounces crawfish.

Crawpeesh Monica

1 lb crawfish tails (or 1 lb shrimp, 1 lb crab meat, 1 lb oysters)

4 T butter

1 pint half and half

1 bunch green onions, chopped (green parts only)

2 T Cajun seasoning (Tony Chachere's, Emeril's Bayou Blast, or othe similar blend)

1 T minced garlic

1/2 C Parmesan cheese

1/2 C finely chopped onion

1-2 T finely chopped sun dried tomatoes or 1/2 Cup diced Roma tomatoes.

Saute garlic and onions in butter until onions are translucent, about five minutes. Add half and half, tomatoes and seasoning. Bring to a simmer. Add cheese and crawfish. Allow to simmer 8 minutes, stirring constantly. Serve over fettuccine. Top with green onions.

I know it simply sounds like an Alfredo with crawfish, but they tell me it's SO different. The addition of the Cajun spices and sauteed onions apparently change it up. Hope you like it...even though I didn't touch the stuff!

I have clean laundry, and lots of it.

Trumpets blaring. Red carpet rolls out. Lights dim as a figure enters, stage left.

Wait a second, my life isn't really a theatrical performance...it just feels that way. Forget all of that direction at the top. I'm here. It's been what, a week? That's like FOREVER in the blogosphere right? My little Pickles if finally better and I am mostly caught up on work. I am trying to catch up on all the blogs I missed during my little vacation that is, if you consider a vacation staying home from work with a hacking, crying, non-sleeping, non-eating, non-drinking child an actual vacation, then yes, I was on vacation. In all honesty I enjoyed spending cuddle time with my little guy. Before too long he won't be interested in cuddling Mommy anymore.

Not to disappoint, I have for you my post on homemade laundry soap! Man, I did some laundry while I was home. I used my homemade stuff the whole time and was deeply impressed.

The first true test was Pickle's brand new shirt that he had stained with a red Popsicle on the bright white collar. Since he was whiny and I was exhausted I had simply thrown it in the dirty clothes hamper and left it sit for a couple days, stain untreated. As I sorted the laundry and found it again, I thought, well this is gonna be playclothes aka not to be worn in public for sure. I rubbed a little of the homemade magic on the stain and threw it in with the load. One magical laundry cycle later and it was pristinely white again! I'm sold.

I had always heard about people making their own laundry "detergent." I was reading the Duggar's book (you know them, they have eleventy million children and have a show on TLC) and saw that she too made her own soap. I do my fair share of laundry so thought I'd save a few bucks by trying it too. Some people did like actual math and figured out the cost of this stuff per load and all that. Frankly, I'm not interested in doing math right this instant, so if you REALLY wanna know that info Google it.

What you'll need:

~Arm & Hammer Washing Soda (this is important as baking soda and washing soda are NOT the same thing. They are chemically different. While it is possible to convert baking soda to washing soda, it's silly to not just buy the correct stuff. (If you really want to convert baking soda to washing soda, email me and I'll give ya the low-down).

~Borax (Twenty Mule Team is the brand I used)~didn't even have to buy any. Had some left over from smothering the fleas in the carpet last summer yeah, THAT was fun

~Bar of soap. I used Fels Naptha laundry soap since it's intended purpose is stain removal, but from what I've read, any bar soap will do.

~Water

~Essential Oils (optional)

~5 gallon bucket

~Old laundry detergent containers or gallon milk jugs (washed out of course. Optional)

You'll need to either grate (like with a cheese grater) or shave (vegetable peeler) the soap down to small pieces. I used the veggie peeler and thought it worked wonderfully. Pull the soap pieces into a large pot, cover with water and boil until soap dissolves. Pour into 5 gallon bucket. Add 1 1/2 C each of the Borax and Washing Soda. Stir well. Add enough hot water to fill the 5 gallon bucket. I did this by putting the bucket in the bathtub and filling it with hot water there.Stir well. At this point you can add the essential oils if you like. I had my oil of choice all ready but actually liked the clean, fresh smell that this concoction already had.

Set your bucket in a safe place only important if you have curious small children and allow it to cool overnight. Now, when you check it out the next day it will appear VERY thick and you'll think that it will NEVER be pourable. Is pourable a word?? Stir, stir, stir people. It will thin out as you stir it. You absolutely can leave it in the big bucket if you want. I funneled it into an old detergent bottle with a spigot and into a clean milk jug. Both work well.

Use about 1/2 Cup per load. You can thank me now ;)

Poor Pickles

Ok, so Pickles has Croup, on top of the Strep throat, on top of two new molars. Poor guy. I'm sure I only have seconds left before he wakes up, but I just wanted to say hello and I miss my bloggy friends! Hope to be back very soon!

Cupcakes with Chocolate Swiss Buttercream frosting!

Pickles and I are home today. My little baby has Strep throat poor guy. So we decided to make some cupcakes while the laundry washed. I am ALL for saving time by using boxed cake mixes, but I'll ALWAYS make my own frosting!

I mixed up some French Vanilla cake batter, divided it into three bowls and dyed each bowl a different color (pink, blue, and yellow). I then spooned just under one Tablespoon of each color into the lined cupcake tins. It jazzed them up a bit.

The frosting is a buttercream, but not the standard American version, which I find too grainy and rich (I do use it on occasion though!). I made a Swiss buttercream which is made with egg whites to make a meringue.

First, I chopped up 3 oz of semi-sweet chocolate and melted it over a double boiler. Set it aside to cool. While I was doing that, the oven was preheating to 350 degrees. I spread some coconut on a rimmed baking sheet and toasted it for about 10 mins, stirring halfway through.
Place a bowl over simmering water. Add to it 3/4 Cup granulated sugar and 3 egg whites. Beat for about 3 minutes, or until the sugar dissolves. Remove from the simmering water and beat on high for 7-10 minutes, or until the mixture cools. Beat in 2 sticks plus 6 T of unsalted, room temp. butter. Beat in cooled chocolate.
We generously frosted the cupcakes cuz we're generous folks then topped with coconut.

Yummms.

I put a few on a plate one for each munchkin, then packed the rest up for The Dude to take back to work with him. Who's proud of me?! I didn't eat any!!!

Dang, of course, the one cupcake I cut into to show the three pretty colors is the ONE cupcake that only got two colors (ran out of yellow batter on the last cupcake)!

Peace out homies. I hope to post about my laundry detergent making tomorrow!! Stop giving the computer screen that look like, "OMG, that biotch is crazy! She MADE laundry detergent? Yeah I did, and it works hella good and is easy!

Because I'm the most AWESOMEST!

I decided to give away TWO Easter S'mores in a jar thingys! Yay me! So, I popped on over to Random.org and it spit out 5 and 12. Those two lucky ladies are BlogBaby and B! Get me your mailing addresses ladies! Congratulations!!

Weddings bring out the best in people.

My sister in law's wedding is drawing near. The stress is on. One groomsman broke his leg skiing...he's out. One bridesmaid doesn't fit into her dress, so they've essentially kicked her out. Yeah, nice eh?
Poor girl. I feel SOOO bad for her. I can tell she's worked hard to lose weight. She says she's lost about 25 lbs, desperately trying to fit into the dress. Alas, it just won't fit. In her defense, these weren't custom made dresses and this was NOT a dress that bigger girls could wear. I couldn't wear it due to the boobage factor. The dress my dear sister in law selected from J.Crew is made for petite, small busted girls. My sister in law is a small busted, petite girl. She simply didn't consider that one of her bridesmaids is bigger. J.Crew does offer a "special size" no joke, that's what it's labeled as, of a 16. No way in hell would that girl's boobs fit in a size 16...ever. Poor girl has even had a breast reduction already, but if she gains ANY weight, it goes straight to her boobs.
My mother in law and father in law had some interesting thoughts on the subject. It should be noted that they are both petite, thin people and always have been. My father in law said, "Well maybe if she didn't eat so much and actually tried, she wouldn't be so fat." I almost fell out of my damn chair. First of all, if I ate the way my inlaws ate, I would be 300lbs...easy. Secondly, he doesn't know this girl so how can he pass judgement on her lifestyle. When I protested that I thought her large bust was the main problem, my mother in law piped in with "Well she's already had a reduction and we bought the biggest size possible (the "special size" 16). I glanced her way and said, "Well ya know, J.Crew really isn't suited for those of us with bigger busts. Not that you would understand. I couldn't shop at J.Crew even if I wanted to. The clothes simply aren't cut for bodies like mine and M.'s." **special sidenote** my mother in law had that ever present, little, post childbirth pooch that she just couldn't get rid of. She got a tummy tuck last year. Hello pot. Meet kettle.
This didn't change their minds at all. They REALLY, TRULY blame this girl. I wanted to punch my mother in law in the boob for being so heartless.
It really burns me up when people who are skinny and always have been, pass judgement on those of us that battle the bulge. My inlaws gorged themselves on fatty, greasy foods, cheesecake and the empty calories of drink after alcoholic drink this weekend, while I ate as little fat as possible. I stayed away from the chips, mayo, cheesecake, dips, cheeses, and cheesecake, but I'm the fat kid in the group?! Urgh.
That little conversation also made me stop and think...what must they say about ME? I know they picture me like this

Heck, she bought me a Wii Fit to "help me lose some of that extra weight." How about you come hang out with your grandkids (who live less than a mile away) once in a while, so I can workout!

Once, when the twins were very young and we were over at the inlaws eating dinner, I quickly inhaled my dinner because I knew one or both would be up soon to eat. My mother in law touched me on the shoulder and said, "careful, you don't realize just how many calories you're eating when you eat like that." While that's true, it's also true that sometimes, as a Mom, if you don't eat quickly, you don't get to eat at all. Furthermore, you shouldn't comment on a new Mom's weight, unless you desire a punch to the guy.

Crock pots are my friend.

Mmmmmmm, granola. I heart granola. What I don't heart is the price. Why is it that those tiny little boxes (notice they are the smallest cereal boxes) cost so much?

I've made my own granola in the oven before. I found that it didn't make enough.

Enter the crock pot. Crock pot??? Yup, crock pot. Who'd a thunk, eh? But oh yes, it's possible

The ingredients:

(Yuuuup. Same window that dinner fell out of the other night)

12 Cups oats

1 Cup wheat germ

1/2 C coconut

1 C honey or maple syrup

1 can apple juice concentrate (defrosted)

1/4 C cinnamon

1/4 C (each) of your favorite fruits or nuts (I used dried blueberries and almonds)

Combine all the dry ingredients in your crockpot (unless you have a teeny-tiny crockpot, it WILL all fit!). In a small bowl, whisk the concentrate and honey/maple syrup until it's fully combined. Pour over dry ingredients, toss well.

Cook on high for 1 hour, uncovered. Switch to low and cook an additional 4 hrs. Leave the lid off and stir it every 1/2 hr.

Next time, I'll probably add a teensy-weensy bit of brown sugar, but it was sure good!

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Don't forget to enter the Easter S'mores in a jar giveaway (look at the top right---->)

Uncle! I give in...to a giveaway!

Alright, since Shorty twisted my arm not really, but that would be really impressive seeing as how far apart we live, I'll be giving away my little Easter S'mores in a jar. Yes, yes, I dressed them up. They look prettier now, I just didn't take a picture.I'm not big on making people bend over backwards to enter my giveaway. In all honesty when people have rules that say things like "Comment here, follow me, bend over and touch your toes, hop on one foot, whistle Dixie backwards" all to get entries, it kinda turns me off. SOOOoooo, I'll make it easy on you. Just leave me a comment and that's it. If you wanna be cool and mention my giveaway, a great big THANKS to you. No extra entries, but I'll think you're cool, and isn't that all that's important????? Ok, probably not. Best of luck kids! I'll be closing this giveaway Monday night so I can pop it in the mail Tuesday morning. I know right? I just looked at the calendar too! Holy smokes, Easter is WHEN?!

READY???

SET.....

GO!