Dear Cell Phone Mommy

Dearest Minivan driving, cell phone gabbing, line holding up preschool Mom,

Thank you SOOOOO much for holding up the pick-up line. I just know that phone call you were on was super-duper important, I could tell by the obnoxious cackle coming from your minivan and the way you slapped your leg. I realize paying attention to the rules of the road and life in general is simply too much for you. Don't mind the blaring horns or the teachers waving at you like mad women. I know, they do look silly waving their arms about! The nerve of some people, scolding you for continuing to yap on your phone as you barrel towards innocent preschoolers.

Don't you worry too much, the school year is almost up. By the way, if I see you again, I'm going to cut you with a shank made mostly of sporks, Popsicle sticks and cheerios. Yeah, I know how to get the most use out of that craft cubby in the classroom.

Your Friend,