Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Does this attitude make my butt look big?

I think I've mentioned before how one of my bosses/The Dude's aunt enjoys buying my affections. Yesterday she sent me to her favorite boutique store once again. Apparently she felt I needed some new slacks. My holey jeans are not cutting it in her book.

I role up to the shop and all 3 parking spots are filled with Cadillacs. What the hell man? So I circled the block about ten times before deciding to just park as close as possible and walk. I need the exercise, right?!

I opened the door to the shop and inhale the distinct fruity-musky scent of the boutique. I'm greeted with a "Hey girl!" from some invisible person. Fifi called ahead. They already had my dressing room filled and waiting. Another salesgirl was trying to assist some eccentric old bird who was going on and on about her brand new Electric Blue Cadillac convertible.
"I'll be right outside!!!" Chirped my helper. I stripped down and started to pull the first piece of clothing off the hanger. Could. Not. Get. The. Damned. Thing. On. I struggle to get it off so I can see what the tag says.
14. 14!!!!
"Are you alright in there? Do you need any help?"
I started hyperventilating. What the crap?! I thought I was losing weight. Somehow I've now jumped UP in pant sizes??
"Ummm, no I'm fine. Don't come in!!"
Cuz that's exactly what I need: skinny-minny to swing the door open and see me in all my glory.
I sat down on the pretty, yet ridiculously uncomfortable chair in the dressing room and just glaze over as I stared at the tag. A fourteen?! I was about to start crying when the door opened, just a tad, and another handful of clothes were shoved in.
"Here, try these. They'll look fabulous on you!"
I squeaked out, "No thanks, I'm just gonna go."
"Don't be silly! Try these on!!"
I pulled the next pair off the hanger and slipped them on.
I figured they had to be a size 16 or bigger cuz they were just floating on me.
The pants fell to the floor as I unbuttoned them. I stepped out and checked the size...size 10.
What the hell? Seriously? Are they just messing with me?? By "we" I mean the fashion industry in general. Why can't we just have an industry standard like back in the day? I don't care if it's bigger or smaller, just a standard number, mmm-kay?!I take that back. I don't want to go back so far that my size is just "chubby."
I don't need a heart attack every time I go into a dressing room. Yeah, yeah, I know, it's only the number, but it's a big deal to anyone that has ever battled the bulge.

P.S. I bought the size 10 pants. I am happily floating in them right now.


Sally's World said...

this drives me nuts too, sizes vary in every store, and I am ashamed to say, even if i slightly prefer the size 12 top/dress, i end up with the size 10 one cos it makes me feel better lol!

The Rambler said...

I'm always hating those days when my ego is feeling good about the weight loss and than some stupid store has a problem with normal sizing and makes me feel like a hippo.


The Blonde Duck said...

It just ain't right. It really ain't right.

JennyMac said...

Oh, you write a great story. LOVE this post.

Sassypants Wifey said...

You are gorgeous my lovely. I hate the way they size anymore. Although, when I get sweaters and whatnot from Mark or Avon, totally have to order smalls! Ha. Cause their smalls are like 6-8 and still run large. Nice boost to the ego. I SOOO can not wait to see you and your pretty face. The kids too, and of course the dude! Yay, meeting the mini boy!

RootsAndWingsCo said...

Oh yeah this is a pet peeve of mine. Now I don't really mind that a size 5 now is what a size 7 or 9 used to be. Come on, we all love the ego boost even when we know what the trick is. However, everyones 5 should be a 5! Ridiculous! I'm sure you look smashing swimming in your 10s!


Anonymous said...

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The Tan of A said...

rock on with the weight loss efforts, Mer! I'm trying to do a bit of the same thing. I puffed up a lot in the end months of 2008 and would like to be closer to "svelte."

I agree with you that the industry needs a standard. I tried on a pair of skinny jeans (first mistake: thinking my hips, butt and CALVES would accommodate those) in what is in theory my size but according to Uniqlo is really 4 sizes too small. Thanks, guys, for making me think I need to start shopping for Huskaroos.

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