Thursday, January 8, 2009

Things I thought about on this Thursday

Ya know those romance novels or mystery novels that are a trillion pages long? The paper back ones they sell at drugstores? The Dude's aunt reads those by the truckload. Her spare bedroom is full of them. I was in there trying on some ridiculously expensive dress she purchased for me (seriously, what do I need with 2 gold cocktail dresses worth over $400?! I'll tell you what I need, shoes to match! Zing!!!!)and as I stared at all of the books stacked up, I wondered something. Do the people in the pictures on the covers list the books on their resumes?
I can just imagine the resume:
McDonald's commercial.......guy eating nuggets

Gillette print ad.....................guy who needs shave

Cover model, "The Engagement"....................guy who looks like he has no idea what passion is

What about this gal:

Ya wonder (maybe only I wonder), did she go out and buy 200 copies of this book and give them out to her friends and family?

"Mamma?! I got the job! I'm on the cover of the book! Yeah, yeah, I have copies for everyone. Well no, you can't see my face, but Mom, I'm on the cover!!"

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Why does The Dude hate me? Ok, perhaps he doesn't actually hate me, but he totally threw me under the proverbial bus today.

We have this family birthday party to attend this weekend. It's a child's birthday, out of town. Well, well, well, at lunch he tells me he and his Dad will be staying home and working on some home projects. You know the ones that HAVE to be done this weekend (yeah right). Nice. This leaves it to be me, the kiddos and mother in law all going together. I'm sure we'll make a day of it. Let's just say, my mother in law and I aren't super-duper close, mmmm-kay?! Not that I don't want to be. I wish for nothing more than to have a good relationship with her. Heaven knows I've tried. It's just not feasible. Now, if I were the type of person that preferred money to affection, I'd be set. Man I wish I were that type!! No I don't. I shant give up on a relationship though. I'm not quitter. Just ask that extra large pizza I ate last night. But yeah, can't wait for that little car ride.

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Why can't I make a good living blogging? Oh wait, I know, cuz there a bazillion other bloggers out there doing the same things. Why couldn't I have been the first blogger ever fired for blogging? Bahahahaha. Oh mind, you are a funny thing.

Seriously though, I sat and thought about this for quite a while.

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If we have such a huge national debt, why don't we just print more money??

I know why. The Dude feels the need to tell me every time I yell that at the news.

Blah, blah, blah....gold to back it up....blah, blah, blah.....some other words.....blah, blah, blah.

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What ever happened to that fat free cooking oil? Olean was it??? I did triple back flips when that stuff came out. So it gave a few people major intestinal distress. Didn't hurt me any! If my store still carried it, I would be deep frying everything. Has the FDA banned the stuff or what? All my babies came out normal, so I'm thinking this stuff should still have a green light. No???


6 comments:

The Rambler said...

You crack me up.

As for the awkward maybe car ride with MIL....drink. heavily. :)

Only if your not driving of course...

Shorty said...

Just found your blog...am really diggin' it! Can't wait to read more.

Regarding the models...i think they just have portfolios...no words needed, but your question is hilarious. Regarding the OLean...did you forgot anal leakage could be a side effect??? I wouldn't touch the stuff if you paid me. Major intestinal distress....and also major potential for embarrassment in public. Yuck!!!

jenjen said...

I just found your site. You are hilarious! Thanks for the laugh.

Love your blog!

Jen

Prefers Her Fantasy Life said...

I always wonder if the women in those self breast exam videos put that on their resumes.

Fun post!

Nana said...

Visiting from SITS. Cute blog. The mother in law thing... I don't know what to tell ya. I've been married almost 28 yrs. We are starting to get a long. Let's just say it's been interesting.

Shan said...

I miss you. What is with our men? Do they have an asshole clause as or late? Yep, trouble in paradise oer yonder... Asshat I say! Lets run away....